Suffering in Silence: The Emotional Abuse of Men | Dr. Timothy Golden | TEDxWallaWallaUniversity

  • Published: 10 June 2016
  • Dr. Golden shares how men can overcome the pain of emotional abuse.
    Timothy J. Golden is Professor of Philosophy, Legal Studies Program Coordinator, and Director of the Donald Blake Center for the Study of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture at Walla Walla University. His areas of specialization are 19th and 20th Century European Philosophy, African-American Philosophy/Critical Race Theory, and Philosophy of Religion/Philosophical Theology. He is the author of two books currently under contract and the editor of two other books, also under contract. He teaches courses at WWU in each of his areas of specialization. Dr. Golden's career in academic philosophy is his second career. He has also been a criminal defense lawyer in Philadelphia, Pa. His law degree is from the Thurgood Marshall School of Law, and his Ph.D. in philosophy is from the University of Memphis. He enjoys acting and cooking.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 1 919

  • Joe Hicks
    Joe Hicks  8 часов назад

    Is this "internalized oppression"??

    • snoddyification
      snoddyification  12 часов назад

      Thank you very very much. More power to you always in all ways.

      • G Cooky
        G Cooky  19 часов назад

        A victim can also be a perpetrator. But specific groups are defended. Specific groups are told not to have feelings. It starts in the beginning, reading books to kids, girls are made of...... and boys are made of. You fill in the blanks. Respect has been replaced with entitlement with the protection of victim now a business. There is representatives in parliament by most groups, how about men's?

        • Cooper Booper
          Cooper Booper  День назад

          Thank you wise Kermit

          • Men Who Suffer Emotional Abuse
            Men Who Suffer Emotional Abuse  День назад

            Thanks Dr Timothy Golden, Please also read the book 'Men Who Suffer Emotional Abuse. The Silent Suffering. A guide to help' I suffered acute emotional abuse for 10 years. The book is available on the internet. it has help all the men that have read it. Do share and let us discuss further, Many thanks

            • muscledog666
              muscledog666  2 дня назад

              Talk about it. Your allowed.

              • Agent A
                Agent A  2 дня назад

                I don't share my feelings. It's too dangerous.

                • deanmullen10
                  deanmullen10  2 дня назад

                  Does Mr. Golden have a book on this topic or similar topics? I would love to read it.

                  • kaede
                    kaede  2 дня назад

                    i thought that was ice cube in the thumbnail

                    • Raymond Bakken
                      Raymond Bakken  3 дня назад

                      You are telling parts of my story too!

                      • Stella Fogaça
                        Stella Fogaça  4 дня назад

                        toxic masculinity is the worst enemy of men

                        • Roberto Insingo
                          Roberto Insingo  4 дня назад

                          I might end my life next summer

                          • dusan ninic
                            dusan ninic  4 дня назад

                            @Roberto Insingo You will wait to see how things will done? So what is the problem?

                            • Roberto Insingo
                              Roberto Insingo  4 дня назад

                              @dusan ninic thanks for your concern, but I will have to wait to see

                              • dusan ninic
                                dusan ninic  4 дня назад

                                Don't dare you!

                                • Bear Heart
                                  Bear Heart  6 дней назад

                                  Women are emotionally vicious

                                  • Seenyer Toenayls
                                    Seenyer Toenayls  6 дней назад

                                    Sometimes you're appearing weak just because you're very far away.

                                    • So Occult
                                      So Occult  6 дней назад

                                      Dude just go to the gym

                                      • Boi Boi
                                        Boi Boi  6 дней назад

                                        Guys and Ladies...This is not a competition on who suffer more. We should minimizs abuses as much as possible, for men, women, old, young, of all ethnicity. Even if someone fron the most priviledged class (whatever that is) is being abused, he/she is being abused, it does not hurt less and we need to find ways to stop it! We are all made of flesh and blood.

                                        • Soulless Ginger
                                          Soulless Ginger  7 дней назад

                                          And 2019 men are the problem, I understand thoughts of ending it. I got our of an unfaithful and abusive relationship almost 3 years ago, almost cost me my freedom, did cost me my kids, and the worst part is when I ask for help I'm only worth what's in my bank account, I want to see my kids and know they are ok I want them back home with me

                                          • Lacey.Jckson Lcy
                                            Lacey.Jckson Lcy  7 дней назад

                                            Great talk, as per usual, but damn get some AC for this man

                                            • Dillon Burnett
                                              Dillon Burnett  7 дней назад

                                              Walla Walla University

                                              • Soloson
                                                Soloson  7 дней назад

                                                Wife: You need to be more open. You need to talk about your emotions. You need to let things out. Also Wife : You can talk to me about anything. Husband : Opens up to wife about his emotions. Wife: Gets annoyed at the very idea that anything she does could be wrong, totally disregards and discards everything you say.

                                                • Tenajeh
                                                  Tenajeh  8 дней назад

                                                  "... his church is woefully unprepared to deal with abusive situations ... in marriages" - WELL, WHAT A SURPRISE! (not)

                                                  • AceTriggerz
                                                    AceTriggerz  8 дней назад

                                                    This video is really quiet or am i crazy

                                                    • FOXDUDE
                                                      FOXDUDE  9 дней назад

                                                      I saw the plot twist coming.

                                                      • Sunlightshadow
                                                        Sunlightshadow  9 дней назад

                                                        i really dont like women. lost my respect for them long ago.

                                                        • Generic- ScreenName
                                                          Generic- ScreenName  9 дней назад

                                                          Emotional abuse is just a bit of fun for women. Why be kind to a man, or even bother caring about him when you have 10 new dicks popping up in your inbox every week?

                                                          • MrManlet
                                                            MrManlet  9 дней назад

                                                            This is exactly why the MGTOW movement is picking up steam. Men don't see women as loving anymore, but narcissistic psychopaths.

                                                            • DannyDaDuffyDucking Daffer
                                                              DannyDaDuffyDucking Daffer  9 дней назад

                                                              Wow that's a whole different thing He didn't get angry at her or beat her or nothing? Wow

                                                              • Sara F
                                                                Sara F  10 дней назад

                                                                His wife SUCKS

                                                                • MadakiNomaroishi
                                                                  MadakiNomaroishi  11 дней назад

                                                                  White men suffer the most 👌

                                                                  • Tyler Scammell
                                                                    Tyler Scammell  11 дней назад

                                                                    Suffering in silence is the title because the video doesnt include sound

                                                                    • ilmu011
                                                                      ilmu011  7 дней назад


                                                                      • khan 1992
                                                                        khan 1992  11 дней назад

                                                                        this is why the only people i consider friends are the ones who i can tell anything, without worrying about being mocked or them spreading it around. whether they're male or female doesn't matter. this guy probably thought he had tons of friends, being a former football player, but actually had 0. better to have 4 people around you who will help you through anything, than 400 who let you contemplate suicide.

                                                                        • toplobster
                                                                          toplobster  11 дней назад

                                                                          Mid-way through I guessed the plot twist-- that Dr. Golden was speaking about himself

                                                                          • Идея Вита
                                                                            Идея Вита  11 дней назад

                                                                            Never thought Ice Cube would do a TED talk... Anyone else getting satisfied from that?

                                                                            • Vincent Law
                                                                              Vincent Law  11 дней назад

                                                                              Damn these lights must be cooking

                                                                              • craigslistrr O
                                                                                craigslistrr O  12 дней назад

                                                                                Men have been neutered..and continue to be neutered.

                                                                                • decarlo watson
                                                                                  decarlo watson  12 дней назад

                                                                                  I can barely hear it

                                                                                  • David Ferguson
                                                                                    David Ferguson  12 дней назад

                                                                                    Toxic masculinity.

                                                                                    • ratstrat1984
                                                                                      ratstrat1984  12 дней назад

                                                                                      Is there any chance of a correlation between this topic and the shootings that have taken place in our society in the last 20 years? The overwhelming majority are committed by men. If a man is pushed to the brink of suicide, than homicide can't be too far away. This is a problem that must be solved.

                                                                                      • steven mike
                                                                                        steven mike  13 дней назад

                                                                                        physical violence is never acceptable. but emotional violence with intent to kill the soul is swept under the rug. its important this issue is spoken about and encouraged that such malicious words should stop being said, recognized for its intent to harm the will to live.

                                                                                        • Jett Blast
                                                                                          Jett Blast  13 дней назад

                                                                                          I can never rely on anything or anyone because they always fail me even friends or family....

                                                                                          • Jett Blast
                                                                                            Jett Blast  8 дней назад

                                                                                            @Joe Cisco Agreed!

                                                                                            • Joe Cisco
                                                                                              Joe Cisco  8 дней назад

                                                                                              Trust feels impossible because you were never shown how to love and trust and were only shown abusive and saw abuse and drugs too. In the end you only rely on yourself because you always have you and everyone leaves eventually

                                                                                              • Jack Brown
                                                                                                Jack Brown  14 дней назад

                                                                                                Thank you so much for this. It's hard to just be "Ok" when you feel your in a hole being barried alive with so much indifference toward you from the person you love more than anything.

                                                                                                • Joshua Rotger
                                                                                                  Joshua Rotger  14 дней назад

                                                                                                  Spot on. Thanks for sharing!

                                                                                                  • Sword Breaker
                                                                                                    Sword Breaker  14 дней назад

                                                                                                    All of this could have been avoided by not getting married to a woman. Today's woman is poison.

                                                                                                    • Daniel Ramirez
                                                                                                      Daniel Ramirez  10 дней назад

                                                                                                      MGTOW FOR LIFE.

                                                                                                      • the4goton
                                                                                                        the4goton  14 дней назад

                                                                                                        Why does it have 2 be so hard for us to understand that we dont understand each other?

                                                                                                        • BRIAN PHILLIPS
                                                                                                          BRIAN PHILLIPS  15 дней назад

                                                                                                          I chose MGTOW

                                                                                                          • BRIAN PHILLIPS
                                                                                                            BRIAN PHILLIPS  15 дней назад

                                                                                                            Showing feelings is considered a weakness to women and turns them off.

                                                                                                            • Daniel Ramirez
                                                                                                              Daniel Ramirez  10 дней назад

                                                                                                              This is so true she will dry up so fast.

                                                                                                              • acovarrubias12
                                                                                                                acovarrubias12  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                i get it and its true i guess, but cmon, if your partner can't love you for you tell them to kick rocks or start exercising.

                                                                                                                • Plum Moon
                                                                                                                  Plum Moon  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                  I'm a woman that has been emotionally abused by people in my life and I completely feel for anyone, man or woman that has gone through this. We are taught to protect women and our feelings and that men will hurt us and because of that mentality many of us believe that we are always the victim and never men. It's really sad because we are all humans that deserve to be treated with respect, do not listen to what your upbringing and the culture tells you. Be kind to everyone.

                                                                                                                  • A T
                                                                                                                    A T  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                    ironic how this video is so damn quiet

                                                                                                                    • Aashish Bharadwaj
                                                                                                                      Aashish Bharadwaj  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                      The applause was pitiful

                                                                                                                      • Dejaverst Arts Ayodeji Azeez
                                                                                                                        Dejaverst Arts Ayodeji Azeez  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                        Men need to start talking about their pains, cos it seems the crazy people of the world think men are fine and always predators.

                                                                                                                        • lola4665
                                                                                                                          lola4665  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                          Never ignore your gut feelings. A woman's abuse often goes undetected whereas a man's abuse is obvious. Both are capable of abuse.

                                                                                                                          • Ana w
                                                                                                                            Ana w  17 дней назад

                                                                                                                            The problem wasn't him. It was HER. She was severely insecure, but didn't have the sense, character, empathy, or guts to face it.

                                                                                                                            • Liam Gillespie
                                                                                                                              Liam Gillespie  17 дней назад

                                                                                                                              Amazing he just summed up everything I felt and I am so much happier now that I know what is going on

                                                                                                                              • David Blazer
                                                                                                                                David Blazer  17 дней назад

                                                                                                                                This would be a lot more interesting if the sentences were broken up... like they were... made up... all on...the spot

                                                                                                                                • janet aulino
                                                                                                                                  janet aulino  17 дней назад

                                                                                                                                  Well said dr. Timmthy golden✌

                                                                                                                                  • Xavier Smith
                                                                                                                                    Xavier Smith  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                    Don't show this to feminists.

                                                                                                                                    • Curt Christensen
                                                                                                                                      Curt Christensen  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                      Imagine a world where everything was reversed. Women were laughed at for showing weakness and anything done to men was a serious offense

                                                                                                                                      • The Revanchist
                                                                                                                                        The Revanchist  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                        I always was taught to never act emotionally. Feeling emotion is fine but we must act with rational thought and logic so our emotions do not destroy us. But this brother told my story and the story of countless other men.

                                                                                                                                        • Ann Cam
                                                                                                                                          Ann Cam  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                          Wish the video was louder

                                                                                                                                          • Eli Pen
                                                                                                                                            Eli Pen  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                            This is America, men aren't considered human here, just work horses and ATMs

                                                                                                                                            • Uncle Musty
                                                                                                                                              Uncle Musty  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                              All men and women have the capability to be abusive, there is no "crazy chick" or "psycho guy" in this situation. Could be something as little as manipulation which I think a majority of people have exhibited at one or several points in their life. Don't treat this as an issue of "oh that girl is just mean and crazy". Think "what is the point I myself will make someone endure hardship?". Everyone has that point, and strive to minimize it however you can. If you tell yourself "oh I'm not like that", you're lying to yourself.

                                                                                                                                              • Dark TRUTH
                                                                                                                                                Dark TRUTH  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                yeah it amazing on both sides its curse and blessing,, we are ether thick headed and stubborn or worthless or emotionalless terminators ether way men are not important any man with a sack can see these larger issues on all levels.

                                                                                                                                                • Klevin Usa
                                                                                                                                                  Klevin Usa  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                  Yea I can’t relate because I wasn’t taught to ignore my feelings.... I was taught too handle my feelings and get them in check. Because in the end feelings don’t make 💰.

                                                                                                                                                  • Mr. Squid
                                                                                                                                                    Mr. Squid  18 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                    Kazuma Satou said: (Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo!) I yearn for true gender equality. I have no patience for one who talks about female privilege when it suits them, and then complains about someone "not being a man" when it's convenient.

                                                                                                                                                    • Rob Demare
                                                                                                                                                      Rob Demare  19 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                      God dammit nice couldn't be more accurate...

                                                                                                                                                      • Rob Demare
                                                                                                                                                        Rob Demare  19 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                        Nice work passing it on Dr. Golden....

                                                                                                                                                        • Swaggmire215
                                                                                                                                                          Swaggmire215  19 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                          Mothers are the biggest emotional abusers to their sons.but men arent allowed to to mention that cuz supposedly mothers can do no wrong..well as a man im here to say foh

                                                                                                                                                          • Reginald Dove
                                                                                                                                                            Reginald Dove  19 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                            Stay married and work it out... sometimes it never works is too short....

                                                                                                                                                            • Ty2k83
                                                                                                                                                              Ty2k83  16 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                              His wife wasn't a virtuous woman

                                                                                                                                                              • Jerry Cooke
                                                                                                                                                                Jerry Cooke  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                *Church woefully un prepared for the abuse* Trust me, if your catholic, it goes even deeper.

                                                                                                                                                                • saintjay1968
                                                                                                                                                                  saintjay1968  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                  Thank you so much for telling your story!! I could definitely relate!!!

                                                                                                                                                                  • Sexy Cajun
                                                                                                                                                                    Sexy Cajun  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                    That's right men don't show emotions or cry

                                                                                                                                                                    • Jenkkimie
                                                                                                                                                                      Jenkkimie  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                      If they only knew the masks that I wear to hide the truth.

                                                                                                                                                                      • Diamond in VR
                                                                                                                                                                        Diamond in VR  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                        The message is great but I needed to watch at 1.5x speed

                                                                                                                                                                        • Pete Whittaker
                                                                                                                                                                          Pete Whittaker  20 дней назад

                                                                                                                                                                          Thank you, Timothy. Yes, I listened. I work for homeless men in my town, and this story is many of their stories. And mine.