Soulmates: The World's Worst Love Advice | Brittany Smale | TEDxMcMasterU

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  • Published: 01 November 2016
  • The notion of soulmates has been perpetuated in our society long before we first started to consider finding one for ourselves. It’s an inescapable premise, colouring the fanfare of dating advertisements and TV shows everywhere around us. And yet, what if this idea that we have a soulmate is actually not only decreasing the likelihood of finding a healthy relationship, but destroying our relationships once we’re in them? Brittany Smale tells us why it’s about time to stop saying, “It just wasn’t meant to be,” once and for all.
    The notion of soulmates has been perpetuated in our society long before we first started to consider finding one for ourselves. It’s an inescapable premise, colouring the fanfare of dating advertisements and TV shows everywhere around us. And yet, what if this idea that we have a soulmate is actually not only decreasing the likelihood of finding a healthy relationship, but destroying our relationships once we’re in them? Brittany Smale tells us why it’s about time to stop saying, “It just wasn’t meant to be,” once and for all.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 187

  • --
    --  Ay əvvəl

    There isn't any advice, do what you want.

    • Danny's Game Zone
      Danny's Game Zone  Ay əvvəl

      This girl is a cutie 😍

      • JoAnn
        JoAnn  2 ay əvvəl

        This is awesome! :)

        • DuStKalle
          DuStKalle  2 ay əvvəl

          She is talking about misconceptions about soulmates not soulmates idea itself which she simply does not understand and does not feel.

          • Chris W.
            Chris W.  2 ay əvvəl

            So young, so wrong. In this life many people do find The One they can't live without or, I suppose, in other words, their soulmate, the one who completes them and is 100% irreplaceable. I suppose he or she can be replaced but that would be a sad day and the relationship would NEVER be all that it would be with the one.

            • Arunava chakraborty
              Arunava chakraborty  3 ay əvvəl

              Technology is ruin love life..ppl got confused ..u will automatically feel that someone love you. Just talk to her free time..u will find out she love you and she will find out he love her.just don't confuse

              • Z Quinn
                Z Quinn  3 ay əvvəl

                I interpret Plato's Symposium in the abstract. He's simply saying that we are seeking wholeness, and so we search through the world for the experiences that will bring us nearer to our own versions of wholeness. Incidentally, Symposium helped me to value love in my solitary journey over the "love" offered by other people.

                • Elon Green
                  Elon Green  3 ay əvvəl

                  I think the Hindu's have the right idea, and the west is totally wrong about everything, even love.

                  • Louise Parker
                    Louise Parker  4 ay əvvəl

                    So true. The guy I'm with now did not sweep me off my feet ( that's how you fall over); he showed me his constancy and reliability, his good manners and his devotion. I can trust him, but I now realise that because I respect myself, and have clear boundaries that in the future, I could find another decent person, if things don't work out.

                    • theo chaffee
                      theo chaffee  4 ay əvvəl

                      Soul mates evolve. They are not born for a day. It takes time like a garden takes time. One yearly growth of a few vegetable seed scattered on a plot does not a garden make. It is perhaps the foundation for future beds of vegetables, sure. A garden is so much more work until the lovely fruit is born. A soul mate must be fostered with soft and gentle love. The soil must be worked with the hands. Having a prize-winning group of vegetables on one's first attempt at gardening is a fluke of the universe. It has no right to be here. Whereas, building the soul of two lovers into one fused heart takes years of first prize-winning gardening. Soul mates know who they are for they have the soil of love beneath their nails and the stained skin of those who work hard for what they get. Plant your love and watch it slowly grow over the years into a shared experience of true love. It will take time; however, you will know a soul mate was born of all the trouble which was really no trouble at all.

                      • kako rwan
                        kako rwan  5 ay əvvəl

                        She is all wrong about soulmate thing, first they can be anyone, mom,dad,sis,bro,friend,.... Second thing the sad reality is that the soulmate is not a princess/prince,,, and he/she is not perfect not in personality, place, and time,,, they are simply a human that you can be friendly, comfortable, fearless as far as you are, and the second sad reality is that most of the soulmates are far away from each other for some reason... So they do exist but they are not the emaginary perfect romantic pink love that we had red in the cenderella story, they are just normal people and you gonna have a normal boring life with them and that's all

                        • Chris W.
                          Chris W.  2 ay əvvəl

                          Soulmate in the romantic sense she is talking about. You shouldn't be sleeping with and marrying one of your parents or siblings. You're right, she is wrong. Out there in the world is The One person we can't or shouldn't be living without. Not everyone is lucky enough to find that one. But some do and it's a beautiful thing.

                          • James P
                            James P  5 ay əvvəl

                            Good talk. Touched on a lot of important issues.

                            • Amy Galvin
                              Amy Galvin  5 ay əvvəl

                              It’s a fairy tale. And it’s complete b.s and leads to unrealistic expectations. There isn’t 1 person predestined in the world for you.

                              • Tiger Of Copenhagen
                                Tiger Of Copenhagen  5 ay əvvəl

                                Sounds like she's speaking at a high school.

                                • Justin Boger
                                  Justin Boger  5 ay əvvəl

                                  I would like to make this speaker The One. love the nerdy red head thing

                                  • VidiSensiVici
                                    VidiSensiVici  6 ay əvvəl

                                    Another definition for soulmate is twin, someone with whom shares lots of many things with us, like kind energy, and with whom we laugh easily and could talk for many hours. In short, it is fun to be with this person. It is even more fun or ideal if this person is loyal, the hardest thing to do in life or in any relationships.

                                    • Caroline
                                      Caroline  7 ay əvvəl

                                      Wise young woman!

                                      • Holly Tramont
                                        Holly Tramont  7 ay əvvəl

                                        She is brilliant, very intellectual and a lot of her points are true and helpful, but you can tell she hasn't had The Experience.

                                        • Allie Yellø
                                          Allie Yellø  7 ay əvvəl

                                          Holly Tramont yeah I haven’t had the experience either. I’m too logical😅😅

                                          • Jillian Angel
                                            Jillian Angel  8 ay əvvəl

                                            Nothing wrong with fighting is so true. People we love trigger us, many emotions are experienced through love. They bring up problems that you have to look at and deal with it by communicating and resolving, understanding, and/or moving on. Fighting brings up things that need to be healed or if its too much to handle, you need to move on to another partner.

                                            • Lucy Renée
                                              Lucy Renée  Ay əvvəl

                                              🎯❗️

                                              • Jillian Angel
                                                Jillian Angel  8 ay əvvəl

                                                No one is eductated enough to say theres no such thing as soulmates. Its like stating theres no God. No one can prove that. I believe in Soulmates and twin flames, I have clear boundaries in my relationship that I wont allow to be crossed so I never just settle or put up no matter what. I believe there are people meant to teach you lessons in life and someone youre meant to be with forever when you reach the point of finding your true inner self. I dont nitpick in my relationships though like Idc about someones interests I can enjoy almost anything thats the fun of life. I feel how comfortable I am with someone and make sure they dedicate themselves to me and respect and not cross my boundaries. I also believe if youre just about the physical world you cant possible find any sort of soulmate because you cant even find your own soul.

                                                • Marcus Pendergraft
                                                  Marcus Pendergraft  4 ay əvvəl

                                                  Perfectly spoken

                                                  • Olivié Charbonneau
                                                    Olivié Charbonneau  8 ay əvvəl

                                                    Realistic approach served by shallow ideas and exemples.

                                                    • Aamer Zaido
                                                      Aamer Zaido  8 ay əvvəl

                                                      I wish to die😥

                                                      • dear wishes
                                                        dear wishes  9 ay əvvəl

                                                        She is amazing

                                                        • Silvija Simic
                                                          Silvija Simic  9 ay əvvəl

                                                          I would like to have a continuation on this topic, regarding the other way, maybe a bit healhier, to look at relationships which doesn't involve soulmates. That should be really interesting!

                                                          • Shizen NoHi
                                                            Shizen NoHi  9 ay əvvəl

                                                            Embrace your self. Embrace your life. Embrace self love. Love yourself unconditionally. 🤗

                                                            • --
                                                              --  Ay əvvəl

                                                              I like how there's positive and negative charged things that power the world. You need both to direct a person, which includes yourself. :)

                                                              • Tracie Jones
                                                                Tracie Jones  9 ay əvvəl

                                                                I believe in soul mates, but I believe that they are usually your closest friends and you can have more then one true love or even twin flame. I have had 5 long term relationships and believed at the time, they were perfect for me......the last one was a narc And I really believed he was going to be the last one... so now I am learning to respect myself, love me who know, maybe I have one more perfect for me true love, if not I will buy a dog

                                                                • Aeon 1111
                                                                  Aeon 1111  9 ay əvvəl

                                                                  In spring 1998 I heard a voice it told me that my real wife was born today. I was 20 years old.

                                                                  • Clare  Bates
                                                                    Clare Bates  9 ay əvvəl

                                                                    you clearly have never been in love

                                                                    • kako rwan
                                                                      kako rwan  5 ay əvvəl

                                                                      No she is clearly struggling..

                                                                      • Kris Shackelford
                                                                        Kris Shackelford  11 ay əvvəl

                                                                        Everyone wants a Bashert

                                                                        • Kate Mind Skills
                                                                          Kate Mind Skills  11 ay əvvəl

                                                                          I feel that society has definitely influenced how we think about relationships in general - not JUST soulmates. But I also feel it is important to have a list of priorities that you feel are needed for your romantic partner to have. Now I really feel like my husband is 'my other half' because we have WORKED for that. We both want to give and take in the relationship and fulfill each others needs. We are respectful of each other and open. Now I think that we can have a beautiful relationship with any romantic partner as long as both parties are WILLING TO WORK TOGETHER. To accomplish everything together. This takes effort, time, and sometimes tears, and misunderstandings. It is important to have those times in a relationship because it is NORMAL. I think it is smart to have a general list of your top priorities that you want in a romantic partner - qualities. Obviously you do want to be physically attracted to them but that should not be the number one priority, cause lets face it...one day you and them will have wrinkles and won't look exactly like they do at the present time. A list would look something this: 1. Is there a specific religion that you prefer they believe in? 2. What qualities do they need to have to allow you to feel COMFORTABLE? Humor, joy, humility, responsibility, patience...? What are those for you? 3. How do they treat their mother, father, siblings, friends, coworkers, and the waitress at the restaurant? Are they kind? 4. Are they willing to work with you? Relationships don't always need to be a 10/10 because the truth is is that there will be ups and downs and if you are willing to work together to do your best to have it be wonderful for both sides then it is a successful relationship. And let me tell you, my husband and I were very attracted to each other right of the bat, found that we could laugh and have fun, and found that we could disagree on topics and decisions and still respect the other person. And most importantly we found that we could communicate through issue and come to an agreement or a compromise. This has led to us feeling even closer, more intimate, and happier together. Each time we work through a huge issue wether it be me not being responsible and locking us out of the car over 3 times, or whatever it is we have felt even closer together. What are your qualities you are looking for in a romantic partner? Are you the type of person WILLING to work through issues, no matter what they are even 50 years from now?

                                                                          • Dumbling
                                                                            Dumbling  11 ay əvvəl

                                                                            I think she needs a hug

                                                                            • Dale Petersen
                                                                              Dale Petersen  11 ay əvvəl

                                                                              It's too hard. you have to spend the rest of your life worried about your eyes twinkling the wrong way and falling out of soulmate status. Besides who wants to spend the rest of their lives posing for the monthly facebook profile picture update depicting perfection.

                                                                              • corsican lulu
                                                                                corsican lulu  Il əvvəl

                                                                                according to law of attraction u can really attract ur perfect soulmate.

                                                                                • Marcus Pendergraft
                                                                                  Marcus Pendergraft  4 ay əvvəl

                                                                                  Exactly

                                                                                  • RED JACKAL
                                                                                    RED JACKAL  Il əvvəl

                                                                                    I think early on in life when you are young you have a high probability of finding your soulmate but it decreases as you get older

                                                                                    • Taylor Garcia
                                                                                      Taylor Garcia  Il əvvəl

                                                                                      I think the universe is cool enough to give you your soulmate. I don't think you find that person unless you are your true self. You can find happiness anywhere tho in a relationship or single.

                                                                                      • Nicholas James
                                                                                        Nicholas James  Il əvvəl

                                                                                        oh for gods sake...life and love just happens...failure also, don't dissect the process.

                                                                                        • Terry Curtin
                                                                                          Terry Curtin  Il əvvəl

                                                                                          People try to hard. Soul mate is a myth. However luckily if single available people cross our paths and look like they care about themselves we have a chance. This women need a vibrator.

                                                                                          • Marwa Radee
                                                                                            Marwa Radee  Il əvvəl

                                                                                            loved it

                                                                                            • ejaculatingcock
                                                                                              ejaculatingcock  Il əvvəl

                                                                                              What makes the speaker an expert on relationships? She does not seem like shes been in a marriage or had children.

                                                                                              • Stephanie Douranakis
                                                                                                Stephanie Douranakis  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                I think a lot of people are missing the point. If we work under the belief of a soulmate, then there’s the idea that there’s only one possible person a romantic relationship will last with. It sets up people for a lot of heartache when that “soulmate” ends up not lasting. You have to be open to being okay with the idea that there might be multiple possibilities. I think that is what she is getting at.

                                                                                                • My Name
                                                                                                  My Name  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                  where do these people come from? looks like a slob

                                                                                                  • My Name
                                                                                                    My Name  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                    fix your dam teeth

                                                                                                    • Greg Austin
                                                                                                      Greg Austin  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                      Aristotle, Plato's diametric opposite, claimed, "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." Then what, exactly, is a soul? Can't have a mate in a common endeavor when the endeavor itself has no definition, no direction. Clearly this entire endeavor of finding a soulmate is the quest not for the right individual, as much as it is the quest for the source of the soul, the source of love, what religions have called "God." And it appears that one cannot fulfill His destiny, whatever that is, without first giving the credit, and due thanks, to Him, He who created love's masterpiece. People today go to bars to chase the spirits (plural), when they used to go to church to find the One Spirit, and the possibility of one soulmate. Since government has systematically undermined the church, people wonder why it is so difficult to find a soulmate. Churches once were the organized venue of altruism, established, in part, to help the needy, paid by tithing. These were organizations led by love and charity, which have today been replaced by government, government instead empowered to protect and punish people through the force of taxation. While churches close, and fall like dominoes into disrepair, new prisons and psych wards are each year built until overcrowded. Instead of soulmates, people wonder why they seem to only find new war-like sparring partners, over and over again. Erroneously, they may even eventually give up on love altogether, stating that love must be mythical, that their driving force of desire was not real from the start--or worse--that love and its desire has always been the source of all their suffering, while the government is not culpable for any of it. People fight, you say? People must break the hearts of one another? Is that a requirement? How about people force their own wills and demands on one another, instead of relying on surrendering to His will, an act of obedience. So stop doing that. Abandon yourself, and your fear, the fear paid to the tax collectors, to thereby fund the sins of congress under the false premise of "protection" from yourself. Instead, surrender to the love of God, and do not do it alone. Surrender your pride, superiority, and egotistical loneliness to the congregation of His will. If you are open-minded enough, you just might learn something, and just might soften enough to become lovable. Put God first in your life, and guaranteed, if it be His will, you will find your soulmate, and will need no other.

                                                                                                      • omg hey there
                                                                                                        omg hey there  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                        Here's the thing: If you personally, subjectively, define "SOULMATES" as "extremely naturally compatible people" it might be a helpful concept to utilize to discard the unsuited, avoid drama etc. But if you define "soulmates" as some magical dream of instant perfection in a human body and floating on rainbows, essentially an extension of your overly high and unrealistic materialistic standards, then it might not be a helpful concept for you.

                                                                                                        • omg hey there
                                                                                                          omg hey there  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                          "destiny" "stars" "fate" etc I don't think thats what "soulmates" necessarily means tho.. i think it's more like just two people so uniquely compatible for eachother they are a statistical improbability.

                                                                                                          • Peter Jackson
                                                                                                            Peter Jackson  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                            If you can wrestle with your conscience, you can argue with a soulmate. Flattery doesn't increase intimacy. Working things out is better than flattery. You can't look for a soulmate. You can only keep an eye open for them. One must first be complete on their own, but they are at the same time half of a two person unity.

                                                                                                            • Peter Jackson
                                                                                                              Peter Jackson  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                              I could never be with anyone for a lifetime that isn't the only one i'd ever be with. Soulmates may be too bad people from differing conditioning, yet have been cut from the same cloth of essence. Thinking something wasn't meant to be because it doesn't work is untrue. As we don't see things covered in snow as they look in summer, We don't see what a person will be in the future. Soulmates doesn't mean the other is cultivated yet. What this woman describes is right, but she is wrongly calling the thing she says is bad a soulmate, but it is what she suggests that best applies to accepting a soulmate. She mistakes ideals and types for soulmates.

                                                                                                              • K Trott
                                                                                                                K Trott  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                That story refers to a twin flame. People can have many different soulmates.

                                                                                                                • Kaci Beaver
                                                                                                                  Kaci Beaver  Ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                  Twin flames are the HARDEST relationship

                                                                                                                  • Faith Maloney
                                                                                                                    Faith Maloney  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                    I believe in Soulmates but we all know Soulmates are not perfect, no human is perfect.

                                                                                                                    • Apex Mechanix
                                                                                                                      Apex Mechanix  4 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                      My balls are perfect

                                                                                                                      • valar
                                                                                                                        valar  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                        If you really believe in "The One", then it would logically follow that if they die, you are doomed to be alone for the rest of your life, because there literally can't be another.

                                                                                                                        • Doctor McGoveran
                                                                                                                          Doctor McGoveran  Ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                          excellent point.I beleive in one at a time.when the one person dies the other is in a new time

                                                                                                                          • John Smith
                                                                                                                            John Smith  Ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                            Everybody settles whether it is a good settlement or not we all settle . Sociality change agents have a lot to answer to here in regards to people being emotionally underdeveloped . They have given us a false perception of entitlement . We all think we are entitled to happiness but you couldn't get fever from the truth . We all have to work hard to be happy and live a fulfilling life . And if you're hoping to find your soulmate then you have to be true to yourself . Work where you want to work , go where you want go , socialise with who you really want to socialise with and do the things you want to do .

                                                                                                                            • Chris W.
                                                                                                                              Chris W.  2 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                              P.S. one doesn't necessarily have to feel doomed. They may have had many great years together and being alone after that will be okay.

                                                                                                                              • Chris W.
                                                                                                                                Chris W.  2 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                                Yes, but hopefully that death comes at an older age so time left is with children and grandchildren or friends or other family. But if that death comes at a younger age with much of life left, I suppose you could settle for someone else who is lonely also and then you gave a companion who isn't your one but is someone good enough. It would be sad but I imagine it could also fulfill some needs and desires in a satisfactory manner. And this doesn't just go for death. Sometimes the one can lose sight of that and bring about the end of a relationship prematurely. If there's never any getting back together, each may suffer in future relationships if there are any which usually there are because we're human. Other times the broken one in the breakup might commit suicide because there can be no replacing the one he or she lost (usually he.) It's important when we find the one to always work on giving them a long, healthy life, physically and emotionally. Finding that one is so precious. Don't let it go.

                                                                                                                                • Black lightning
                                                                                                                                  Black lightning  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                  It's about damn time someone discussed this whole soulemate nonses. Definitely gona share this.

                                                                                                                                  • Romantic Outlaw
                                                                                                                                    Romantic Outlaw  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                    my ideal partner: >is attractive to me >is attracted to me >is a human person with emotions and values

                                                                                                                                    • M B
                                                                                                                                      M B  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                      ...yep. Beyond age, weight, hair, style, etc.

                                                                                                                                      • Erin Laemmle
                                                                                                                                        Erin Laemmle  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                        😊 Anything may be possible! But a bit of a high expectation for some as well.

                                                                                                                                        • cleftheart
                                                                                                                                          cleftheart  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                          I have always believed soul mates could be anyone, not just your romantic love. It could be your friend, sibling, parent, etc.

                                                                                                                                          • GunsCarsBikeCigars
                                                                                                                                            GunsCarsBikeCigars  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                            it tells us.. "PARENTS JUST DONT UNDERSTAND"

                                                                                                                                            • Ramona, Mariah, & the Sea

                                                                                                                                              I do believe in soul mates I have many

                                                                                                                                              • Amazology
                                                                                                                                                Amazology  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                - eh? Is that soul or sole mate ?

                                                                                                                                                • John Oflus
                                                                                                                                                  John Oflus  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                  Sorry if I offend anyone and I am sure that this lady is well meaning, but she is so far off the mark that it defies comprehension. Soul mates do exist but together a man and a woman create this phenomenon, it is not something that simply exists without any input from "both" people. A good place to start is by loving yourself, protect your psycological, emotional and physical wellbeing whilst opening your heart to the people around you, the next step is finding a partner who is equally committed to living the same core belief system. I say core because rarely do our integral core beliefs change substantially once they are in place even over a lifetime . This requires ditching selfishness, greed, arrogence, the list goes on, essentially all the self destructive behaviours that cultural Marxism/Feminism has instilled in both men and woman over the last 50 years. The way to loving yourself and also having someone truely loving you is through genuinely/ authentically caring about others above yourself provided it is safe for you to do so, there are no lists required to do this, the more love you project the more love you will revieve, what it requires is an open honest heart and a steadfast commitment to yourself and your partner. The current generation is unlucky to be struggling with the greatest relationship handicaps imposed by a society trying to tear itself apart, be smart don't fall for their lies otherwise a lifetime of lost opportuniteis to be happy will be lost. Don't believe that working your way thru a conga line of intimate partners will not have any long term consequences, because it wil, in the very core of your beingl. You must always protect your core inner being, this is meant for both men and woman, whether you like it or not the scars are carried for your lifetime. In the final analysis this is really what you bring to the table. When I was young, parents, grandparents, uncles/aunties and the community helped young people look after their best interests, now many of these supports are gone and they are innundated with the most destructive preasures from people with their own disturbed and malicious adjenda. Good luck from John

                                                                                                                                                  • Jennifer, Interrupted
                                                                                                                                                    Jennifer, Interrupted  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                    Well said! 😊

                                                                                                                                                    • Optimistically Skeptical

                                                                                                                                                      WOW, 73% of Americans believe in magic and dragons?

                                                                                                                                                      • Optimistically Skeptical

                                                                                                                                                        umm, there is no correlation in that

                                                                                                                                                        • t m
                                                                                                                                                          t m  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                          2016 Election proved that.

                                                                                                                                                          • Nick Kraynek
                                                                                                                                                            Nick Kraynek  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                            I'm married to my soulmate and have been with her for the last 35+ years. We had so much in common it was scary, and I am blessed in the FACT that God sent my wife to me. From the moment that I seen her God smacked me in the back of the head and said that she was the ONE! I love my wife just as much now if not more than the day we met. This young chick need to keep looking for the right person that will knock the socks off her before she will change her mind and know deep in her heart that she is so wrong. She needs to find the person that if her partner physically needs a heart you would give him yours without even thinking about it. I would rip the beating heart from my chest if my wife needed one! Keep looking sweetie!

                                                                                                                                                            • Lucy Renée
                                                                                                                                                              Lucy Renée  Ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                              Beautiful! you are truly fortunate! ✨🕊 ✨

                                                                                                                                                              • Irene
                                                                                                                                                                Irene  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                Sometimes it really wasn't meant to be. You make a bad choice: why stick with it and make both of you miserable until death do you part? Anyone can make anything work if they are prepared to suffer a life of lies and misery in doing so. There are many people in this world we can 'click' with, it's not about finding THE soulmate, it's about finding a mate who works for you and vice versa.

                                                                                                                                                                • Apex Mechanix
                                                                                                                                                                  Apex Mechanix  4 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                  I mean this pizza though........bomb af!

                                                                                                                                                                  • Mark Anderson
                                                                                                                                                                    Mark Anderson  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                    The real question is "What are standards?"

                                                                                                                                                                    • DelilahZoe
                                                                                                                                                                      DelilahZoe  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                      1) Each of us would probably get along with a lot more than "1" person -- so there's no "one"! 2) Each of us needs to have STANDARDS -- kindness, intelligence, etc. 3) Each of us needs to know the deal breakers! 4) The wedding is just the start....you have to keep working at it!!

                                                                                                                                                                      • epicwriter96
                                                                                                                                                                        epicwriter96  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                        This rings true, and I almost feel like this is more hopeful than having those ideals that we're unable to let go of. That means that one or two or twenty relationships that failed, does not mean we will never find somebody. It also doesn't mean that one person in this vast world is our only shot, nor are we anyone else's.

                                                                                                                                                                        • hokiturmix
                                                                                                                                                                          hokiturmix  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                          How can it be a soulmate if we don't have any? Experiments tells us if a brain injury occurs then you change. You are different person when you happy sad angry excited ... Self delusion is what we best in. Attraction is something you have NO control. When you has atraction then you compromise. More the atraction is your list will be less and less important. The only kind of partner you can find is who "match" for you. If you are despert then your partner will bee too. If you have different mindset then the atraction goes off the window. if you want a loving, kind, careing person then you have to be too. The best couples are who are happy with or without. When you need your other half it means that you are a vampire who is not full.

                                                                                                                                                                          • Justine Semidea
                                                                                                                                                                            Justine Semidea  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                            I also think there is no soulmates, juste endless love story possibilities. I am with my partner for 6 years now, It seems like forever and I have the impression that it will continue forever as well. I can't imagine loosing him. I love him so much. BUT if one day for any reason we are separated, I think it will be possible to find someone to be with again, and love this person a lot as well, not the same way, of course, but as much. Because I'm propably met and talk with 0.000001% of the population, if I can be with somebody in this 0.000001% how can't I be with somebody else in the 99.999999% rest of the population ?

                                                                                                                                                                            • Morrigan
                                                                                                                                                                              Morrigan  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                              Justine Semidea I love the way you said that! "Endless love story possibilities"

                                                                                                                                                                              • Dennis R. Levesque
                                                                                                                                                                                Dennis R. Levesque  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                I've seen things that start out with a good foundation, but have a bad conclusion. It's more rare to have a bad foundation with a good conclusion. You just got lucky. Consider this: Maybe it's your destiny to be open-minded enough to accept your soul-mate without even knowing it.

                                                                                                                                                                                • Greg Rosenbaum
                                                                                                                                                                                  Greg Rosenbaum  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                  I think I've found my soul mate 💖💖💖😍

                                                                                                                                                                                  • Amy Harvey
                                                                                                                                                                                    Amy Harvey  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                    Greg Rosenbaum + I know I have, too! It's a bit complicated, though, as both of us have been married to other people for 40 years. I love my husband, but I now know he was never my true soulmate.

                                                                                                                                                                                    • Becky
                                                                                                                                                                                      Becky  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                      I regretfully believe to some extent in the idea of soul mates but my biggest example of when it actually possibly influenced me to make a real decision would be in my very recent past relationship. I had asked her if she believed in soul mates and she responded that she in fact, did. Never had she told me I was her soul mate. This was someone who wanted to have children with me and start a family. I broke things off, not inherently due to the soulmates factor, but because I straight up wasn't being cared for. I think the idea of the perfect one designed by God himself to compliment my own strengths and weaknesses is preposterous. I just want to love and celebrate intense, genuine love while I feel it in all its glory. Not always be so cutthroat over very flawed, other individuals as myself. It's like viewing life through rose tinted glasses. It's just not realistic. AND come to think of it, wouldn't it make the absolute efforts of someone floating around a sea of random people truly dedicating themselves to you even more magical? Nothing is guaranteed so when it comes along, it has just as much meaning if you want it too.

                                                                                                                                                                                      • Lux Meow
                                                                                                                                                                                        Lux Meow  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                        Anyone actually already met their 'soulmate' here? There are people who make the list and it comes to light (so they say). So I am curious to hear from those people. Just like making vision boards, one guy apparently had bought the same house that was on his vision board (unknowingly). Not sure if it's true or not but these are the claims.

                                                                                                                                                                                        • Chen Sun
                                                                                                                                                                                          Chen Sun  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                          Practical advice, but she got Plato completely wrong. The passage she refers to is one form of love that Plato refers to. Plato has other forms. And even the form that she refers to is actually true. Men and women, for the most part, are searching to unite with their other half--to restore a whole.

                                                                                                                                                                                          • April Sunshine
                                                                                                                                                                                            April Sunshine  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm married to my soulmate and have been with him for the last 11years. We had so much in common it was scary, and I feel amazingly lucky that we not only met but devoted ourselves to each other at such a young age. I loved him from the moment I first saw him, I love him now and I always will. However, I also believe love is a choice and relationships take a lot of work, learning and communicating. And yes, BOTH partners have to work equally hard.

                                                                                                                                                                                            • Apex Mechanix
                                                                                                                                                                                              Apex Mechanix  4 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                              Y'all eventually gonna get divorced.

                                                                                                                                                                                              • Jillian Angel
                                                                                                                                                                                                Jillian Angel  8 ay əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                I believe in Soulmates because I believe in God ❤💙❤ Ive had many relationships but as I grew spiritually I started to find real connections in certain people and guided. I dont nitpick I feel the soul connection. People who dont believe in it just havent experienced it. It takes a spiritual person if you just believe in the physical world, you no longer feel, and experience intense soul changing connections.

                                                                                                                                                                                                • BLACK JACKET MAN
                                                                                                                                                                                                  BLACK JACKET MAN  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Good for you

                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Ujjwal Anand
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ujjwal Anand  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                    April Sunshine so you married your photocopy

                                                                                                                                                                                                    • trinity nguyen
                                                                                                                                                                                                      trinity nguyen  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                      yeth of courth

                                                                                                                                                                                                      • JoanaT
                                                                                                                                                                                                        JoanaT  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                        I know soulmates (real meaning of the word) exist because I have found mine and no, he isn't my boyfriend he is my best friend...we connect in a way we don't connect with anyone else...we feel what one another feels at times even though we're not together, like feeling unwell or sad...we know each other in a way no one else knows us...he is my soulmate...we have never been involved physically and never will but I know I will love him forever in a way I cannot love anyone else...I have my partner and 2 teenage kids and the love I feel for him is different than any other love

                                                                                                                                                                                                        • dalangie
                                                                                                                                                                                                          dalangie  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Yes, I have that kind of friendship too. At first we were in love for a short time, but now we are still friends for 11 years. We contact as maybe every 8 or 10 weeks. And 90% of the time when the other one also just wanted to contact us. It is especially obvious when we are down... than it is sometimes nearly scary when the other contacts us in the moment when we need it most. We live on different continents, didnt see us for 6 years, and before that not in 5... and still this works for such a long time and I am very, very thankful for it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          • SharonLA L
                                                                                                                                                                                                            SharonLA L  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                            JoanaT he may be your twin soul..look it up

                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Romantic Outlaw
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Romantic Outlaw  Il əvvəl

                                                                                                                                                                                                              JoanaT I have the exact same kind of connection with my best friend who lives a whole country away--but "best friends" isn't nearly a strong enough term for it. We're so in tune that we almost always have our periods at the same time. When her boyfriend of 7+ years lets her down, I can always bring her joy, and there's something immensely special about that.