Why you should fall recklessly in love | Adam Casey | TEDxMU

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  • Published: 02 June 2016
  • Adam Casey, once an Officer with the Navy, and then USMC Infantry Officer, a former BIG 12 Student-Athlete at Mizzou, and a cancer survivor discusses the power of falling in love.
    Founder of "I Do It For Her", a 501(c)3 non-profit charity, that dares individuals to be courageous enough to become something better than they ever thought possible. I am a fighter through and through. I truly know how hard the ground feels when knocked down, but more importantly, I know how to get back up time and time again to take just one more shot.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 713

  • Miguel Hernandez
    Miguel Hernandez  21 giorno fa

    This man fell in love, pursued a passionate journey to better himself and the world and find his purpose. He did this while NOT tying down his love. He let her go and still did things for her. That is true love. To give and let go. I'm inspired to change the world and myself for the better.

    • Fine S/ she wish the world full of joys.

      He’s cute ❤️

      • Mêlée Placid
        Mêlée Placid  Mese fa

        He needs more zen in his life...a breath before reacting, a breath before believing, a breath before deciding.. he needs to breathe!! And ironically he already had cancer long before the diagnosed cancer... many people do. The cancer of negative thinking. That’s just as bad and destructive. It needs healing and treatment just as much...and it can cause genetic changes (through stress hormones elevated for long periods) that create actual cancer in some situations. People HAVE to put time/energy into changing erroneous thought patterns... thoughts influence feelings...which influence behaviors.. and it can be a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy...until the thinking is challenged and changed.

        • Mêlée Placid
          Mêlée Placid  Mese fa

          Our bodies hold anger, grief and feelings of worthlessness...it is no surprise his health took a downward turn. It was his body’s way of screaming out...fix yourself, love yourself.

          • Mêlée Placid
            Mêlée Placid  Mese fa

            He desperately needed to change his focus from seeking some long gone girl’s validation..through ways she probably didn’t care about, but likely projected onto her, because he didn’t even really know her... to instead fixing his core wounds and dysfunctional attachment style. Figuring out who he was, what his passions were regardless of anyone else and evolving into his best self...eventually likely attracting someone more suited for him anyways. Unfortunately he went down the road of warped thinking and wasted time...

            • Thea Atanasova
              Thea Atanasova  Mese fa

              WTF did I just watched?!??!

              • Brandon
                Brandon  Mese fa

                😂😂Fuckin 😝

                • René Peraza
                  René Peraza  Mese fa

                  TED talks have gone downhill. Anyone can do one now. How is this self-improvement or scientific breakthrough?

                  • Bill Jefferson
                    Bill Jefferson  Mese fa

                    And while he was doing all that... She was getting dicked down by dudes she meet at the club. Real talk! Truth hurts! We in here! Bam!

                    • Vaughan Vanderstarren

                      Adam Casey reminds me of Kyle Clinton Foley, a young substitute teacher who wrote a poetic novel entitled _Lorelei Pursued,_ using thousands of invented words, inspired by a student he became infatuated with but who asked him to cease all contact with her. I found his book on a “free books” shelf years ago at my university and spent several minutes skimming its bizarre uniqueness before replacing it on the shelf for another to find.

                      • Vaughan Vanderstarren

                        I went out to the hazel wood, Because a fire was in my head, And cut and peeled a hazel wand, And hooked a berry to a thread; And when white moths were on the wing, And moth-like stars were flickering out, I dropped the berry in a stream And caught a little silver trout. When I had laid it on the floor I went to blow the fire a-flame, But something rustled on the floor, And someone called me by my name: It had become a glimmering girl With apple blossom in her hair Who called me by my name and ran And faded through the brightening air. Though I am old with wandering Through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, And kiss her lips and take her hands; And walk among long dappled grass, And pluck till time and times are done, The silver apples of the moon, The golden apples of the sun. ~ William Butler Yeats, “The Song of the Wandering Aengus”

                        • Sina Bayat
                          Sina Bayat  2 mesi fa

                          Tom Cruise giving some good speech!

                          • Gazorpazorp Pleh
                            Gazorpazorp Pleh  2 mesi fa

                            I thought he was gonna talk about Scientology

                            • Santosh Thakur
                              Santosh Thakur  2 mesi fa

                              This guy is toxic. I wouldn't pass by him even accidentally... He is scary.

                              • Sarah Schaefer Rivilla

                                Howwww is this still uploaded. He’s scary.

                                • Memory Rinehart
                                  Memory Rinehart  4 mesi fa

                                  "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man were to give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly contemned." --S.of Solomon

                                  • Memory Rinehart
                                    Memory Rinehart  4 mesi fa

                                    Rod Serling coming through @ the end...

                                    • Memory Rinehart
                                      Memory Rinehart  4 mesi fa

                                      Who is this guy? Power of purpose in motion...To Rhiannon below it's about determination in whatever he does inspired by his undying love for "her." A reminder of my Walt...who I hope to God is now with God.

                                      • Nick Weinling
                                        Nick Weinling  6 mesi fa

                                        He seems in love with his own ego, from the way he talks and the way his sentences are structured, the breathing is off and dramatic and it makes you disengage because there feels like there isn’t much genuineness like it’s all an act. Hope he’s doing well these days he doesn’t seem a bad sort though.

                                        • Minnie Not a Mouse
                                          Minnie Not a Mouse  6 mesi fa

                                          He is trying really hard to be a better person, with no guidance and a heart a big as Texas, and been driven by the energy that love creates. His heartbreak created even more energy and that "love" energy got transformed and came out in other ways. You cant kill energy. you cant kill emotions - He has felt the pain that love can create and he understands its power to drive someone to rearrange the stars ... I hope he finds someone because he has a lot of love to give ...

                                          • PL46U3
                                            PL46U3  7 mesi fa

                                            Love is for the weak minded

                                            • Hannah A. Gehrels
                                              Hannah A. Gehrels  8 mesi fa

                                              Those who needed to hear this will be receptive. God bless you, Lieutenant.

                                              • Aidan Patterson
                                                Aidan Patterson  8 mesi fa

                                                This isn't a talk about love. This is a talk about overcoming adversity. He searches for purpose in life and ran into many insane obstacles, yet overcomes them all. I admire his ability to persevere, he uses this woman as an idea not as an object. She represents the anti thesis to him giving up.

                                                • Stjarnljus
                                                  Stjarnljus  5 mesi fa

                                                  I'm so relieved some people see further than reacting with "He is obsessed" and then just stop thinking about what he is really trying to say. It's not about her. It never was.

                                                  • Kenan
                                                    Kenan  8 mesi fa

                                                    this poor man has been brainwashed by hollywood

                                                    • Allie
                                                      Allie  9 mesi fa

                                                      I bet they ended the video so curtly because no one clapped

                                                      • Dinesh Ravi
                                                        Dinesh Ravi  9 mesi fa

                                                        I empathize with this gentleman, cause I kind of understand what he feels, at least some of it. He feels indestructible, almost God-like when he does things for her, he talks about rearranging stars for her and doing the impossible for the unconditional Love that he had for her which is commendable as not everyone can or will do that for their lover. But the part that he missed, something I realized only recently after the Girl I was madly in love with dumped me, is that not everyone wants to be worshipped and treated that way because people are not perfect and being imperfect is what drives most of us to live by giving us a purpose. Especially the better girls are the ones who don't want to be treated that way, as they want someone who can identify their flaws and make them work for it and make them a better person, someone they can look up to. That's where your self-identity, self-worth and what some people apparently call self-love comes in. It's something that's very hard to grasp once you're madly in love with a girl as you tend to lose yourself in her love and desperate enough to do crazy things and the last place you would look is within yourself and stand up for yourself even if it meant losing her. If only he kept his dignity, self-respect, and pride when he did all of those unbelievable things he might have got her back or at least given all that love to someone who deserved it.

                                                        • Celina Persaud
                                                          Celina Persaud  9 mesi fa

                                                          Did he ever end up telling her?

                                                          • JRInTroy
                                                            JRInTroy  9 mesi fa

                                                            Well that was weird. This makes me think i shouldn't be watching "independent" Ted talks.

                                                            • These Truths
                                                              These Truths  9 mesi fa

                                                              Hmm...this story is like a true overarching surrealism that is misinterpreted by a genuine guy who tells his life like a tragic poem that's disordered and leaves the reader hanging to resolve, but only by themselves. Alone. A lack of true community fosters desperate internal isolationism that sounds like this guy's story but is played out a million different but similar ways. This guy would be an excellent actor. He'd live and become the part. As a fictional but based on true life spiritual/sci-fi/fantasy genre writer, I can appreciate that. Rock on man. Just don't hurt anyone else in your mission and you'll be ok. PS...there are other fish in the pond if you can't reel that ancient girl onto the shore dude. And this advice is assuming all of the story is accurate. You must shelve her in your mind to move on. peace...

                                                              • Lee Green
                                                                Lee Green  9 mesi fa

                                                                I see an overwhelming amount of comments making this man out to be a bad guy, but I read one that I resonate with. And as it's a full moon in Taurus tonight, I was moved to tears by his passage. He wanted to be a worthy person, and that came about from meeting that girl. He fought himself to feel worthy, and wanted to give up, but he didn't. He always held and remembered how strongly he felt he needed to propel himself upwards and reach his happiness. Yes the girl was where it awoke, but in himself is where it resides.

                                                                • Lely Larasati
                                                                  Lely Larasati  9 mesi fa

                                                                  I thouhgt it was Tom Cruise pm tgr thumbnail.

                                                                  • Nikki Sainte-Marie
                                                                    Nikki Sainte-Marie  10 mesi fa

                                                                    he is not getting to the point

                                                                    • Liz R
                                                                      Liz R  10 mesi fa

                                                                      Thank you for sharing your story, very brave...I will wonder if he n she will ever really be :)

                                                                      • Autumn McKay
                                                                        Autumn McKay  10 mesi fa

                                                                        He is a good storyteller. Very poetic and descriptive. But his story and tone are quite unsettling and left me with a lot of questions. He needs to know what love really is. I am curious about his organization, though. I never comment on videos, but this one compelled me. Also, the title is misleading.

                                                                        • Sarah Smiles
                                                                          Sarah Smiles  10 mesi fa

                                                                          This guy should be in a drama club.

                                                                          • li shiyu
                                                                            li shiyu  10 mesi fa

                                                                            He looks like Tom Cruise ?? Agree with me?

                                                                            • Christy Sanford
                                                                              Christy Sanford  10 mesi fa

                                                                              I wonder what her story is. If he's as rigorous in his expectations of others as he is of himself, outcome looks guarded. Felt I was watching a tragedy with a heroic figure, Keats maybe. His quest to make himself worthy, well, that seems past mastery and into cruelty. Writing might help. I wish for his continued health with or without extreme sports. I've imagined a lot of stories about what a man must want from me when things weren't going well, but this reminds me of "The Jet-propelled Couch" by Lindner. A complete build out.

                                                                              • ROBERT ANDERSON
                                                                                ROBERT ANDERSON  10 mesi fa

                                                                                It's called Sado-Machochism

                                                                                • Steve Thomas
                                                                                  Steve Thomas  10 mesi fa

                                                                                  Man. Tom Cruise hit me right in the feels there. And I think a lot of people underneath are somewhat missing / needlessly confusing the point of this TED talk?

                                                                                  • ELA
                                                                                    ELA  10 mesi fa

                                                                                    Awful and sad first of all... But hugely irritating to watch and listen to! such dramatic self inflicted distress and self destruction. Showing mental illness with no positive outcome. Why on earth is this a Tedx talk?!

                                                                                    • menetworq
                                                                                      menetworq  10 mesi fa

                                                                                      The force of love in the form of his first love has been powerful and motivating to reach one's highest achievements. Most young hearts may fall into depression and despair after loving and losing one's first love; but he overcame the rejection to accept nothing but the best for himself: a true soldier in the defense of our rights and freedoms, to include falling in love like crazy and to be ultimately fine with it.

                                                                                      • Billy Merrigold
                                                                                        Billy Merrigold  10 mesi fa

                                                                                        I'm 15 minutes in and still not seeing any pros of falling in love.....

                                                                                        • Margaux Sadoun - ƠՏЦȠƊί

                                                                                          It must be extremely hard for other women who might be interested in him to stand a slight chance of getting an interest from him... Because of the memory of this wonderful person he fell in love with once 10 years ago, there's not so much space for anyone else in his life, really...

                                                                                          • jonwiley
                                                                                            jonwiley  11 mesi fa

                                                                                            Another example of a man who should be content to look good. Handsome thing, he is -- but i have to tune out what he is babbling about because it doesn't make a lot of sense.

                                                                                            • Patricio Cordova
                                                                                              Patricio Cordova  11 mesi fa

                                                                                              Ohh young man, you need red pills.

                                                                                              • Charbel Piliae
                                                                                                Charbel Piliae  11 mesi fa

                                                                                                Despite a lot of judgmental comments, thank you for being vulnerable, authentic and courageously sharing your story, imperfections and your unique process of developing towards your own true self.

                                                                                                • ftranchi
                                                                                                  ftranchi  11 mesi fa

                                                                                                  He is passionate..I'll give him that. Honestly, it's truly hard to find people with that kind of fight, especially after that amount of remorse, grief and unhappiness. Fighting is what can keep some of us alive and breathing through hard times. We all have hard times, that's what life is. What you make of the happy times is what is important. Although they can be few and far between. I truly hope he, and many others in our crazy world, can find some happiness. Even with the little things.

                                                                                                  • T. G
                                                                                                    T. G  11 mesi fa

                                                                                                    Did he ever see her again at least?... Geez what a sad story. He's fine though 😍 He could be an actor.

                                                                                                    • billy persistent
                                                                                                      billy persistent  11 mesi fa

                                                                                                      This is sad batman.

                                                                                                      • Dorothea Chia
                                                                                                        Dorothea Chia  11 mesi fa

                                                                                                        Just goes to show, you don't know how you will influence another's life all the time. This man went through tough times and if that idea of 'her' was keeping him sane, well that is certainly a positive. How many of us can say we could have done half of what he did?

                                                                                                        • Aabbish Duaa
                                                                                                          Aabbish Duaa  Anno fa

                                                                                                          Wow... I thought stuff like this only existed in movies and novels. But I suppose that although we might call his behaviour obsessive, there is something good in it still. He never went after that girl and tried to drag her down with him, he just tried to make himself better, granted he went a little too far, but his intentions are worth appreciating, and what's more, he is worth being recognised and loved.

                                                                                                          • l.m. Getz
                                                                                                            l.m. Getz  Anno fa

                                                                                                            Tom Cruise could play him in a bio about his life

                                                                                                            • IloveRyanGreasley

                                                                                                              Damn, he's good looking.

                                                                                                              • Sayer Slayer
                                                                                                                Sayer Slayer  Anno fa

                                                                                                                This guy is super cringey OMG

                                                                                                                • Amina Ahutu
                                                                                                                  Amina Ahutu  Anno fa

                                                                                                                  i am very inspired

                                                                                                                  • Amina Ahutu
                                                                                                                    Amina Ahutu  Anno fa

                                                                                                                    he seems very passionate and persistent. thank you for sharing how powerful the force of love is...and to other commentors here who didn't "get", this is not relationship talk, so why are we looking for romantic happy endings..???

                                                                                                                    • Rob H.
                                                                                                                      Rob H.  Anno fa

                                                                                                                      Dude: Your accomplishments are for you and you only.. If others acknowledge them then it should only be seen as a side effect not the main objective.

                                                                                                                      • Rosie Hathaway
                                                                                                                        Rosie Hathaway  Anno fa

                                                                                                                        Counselling would have proved an easier, more affective option.

                                                                                                                        • Cora Reedy
                                                                                                                          Cora Reedy  Anno fa

                                                                                                                          So dramatic.

                                                                                                                          • R
                                                                                                                            R  Anno fa

                                                                                                                            I always end up with full on men with him.

                                                                                                                            • Jade Star
                                                                                                                              Jade Star  Anno fa

                                                                                                                              This man is simply beautiful 👐🏿👐🏿👐🏿👐🏿👐🏿 because of what was perceived as obsession if you watched how our brains fall in love. He helped and inspire many outside him self. When athletes keeps playing on a injury no bats and eye. And they really damage themselves. So he exposes the va. Started a non profit and proved he can have a life after heartbreak and lifes huge obsticals. He simply kept going. Her is a focus point he needed to drive him. It could have been his kids, parents, or simply because i have to.

                                                                                                                              • Oceiota
                                                                                                                                Oceiota  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                He had a very interesting life but he really isn't motivational and the title is actually misleading. The guy has been obsessed over his ex for the past decade but he never tried to get back together with her. Instead he tries to fill his void and lack of self esteem by trying to prove himself to someone that will probably never find out about his achievements and, even if she does, I doubt it matters to her. He wrecks his body and harms himself out of stubbornness but is lucky enough to beat a stage 4 cancer. He has a sports career, he gets into charity, he works way too hard and eventually gets in the army, he drives around Europe etc. He's done a bunch of cool things and yet he sounds bitter and resentful and, honestly, psychotic during the entirety of the speech. There's something about this guy that tells my gut instinct that no matter his achievements he never solved any of his underlying issues and probably never will. Not once in the speech did he seem happy, even though he did talk about some very happy moments of his life and for all his achievements he appears to be a deeply unhappy person who will never be happy unless he accepts himself. It's not her that he'll never be good enough for. His problem is that no matter what he achieves in life, he'll never be good enough in his own eyes. He is obsessed with the idea of love, he is obsessed over a woman he idealized and put on a pedestal and he is obsessed over proving himself. He could have made a speech about perseverance but he's hugely unqualified to talk about love. I'm not doubting that he did love the girl a decade ago, but it's gotten weird and unhealthy along the way and his unhealthy attitude towards love and relationships means he won't get intimate with anyone ever again so he not only wrecked his health over this obsession but he's also dooming himself to a life of loneliness. Even if the girl miraculously got back with him somehow, he'd probably push her away by treating her like an idol and an abstract ideal instead of a human being.

                                                                                                                                • Hiyori
                                                                                                                                  Hiyori  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                  TED had lost it sense

                                                                                                                                  • The Cold Poet
                                                                                                                                    The Cold Poet  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                    I do it for her too. Let’s hope my her and yours aren’t the same for your sake and mine.

                                                                                                                                    • Death uwu
                                                                                                                                      Death uwu  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                      Edgy

                                                                                                                                      • Andromeda Musk
                                                                                                                                        Andromeda Musk  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                        This was dark

                                                                                                                                        • Selyna Bogino
                                                                                                                                          Selyna Bogino  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                          This talk was difficult to listen to. He reminded me a person I knew who seemed like a super hard working person full of purposes but who was at the end a lost soul full of anger trying to find a reason to keep going. Adam Casey, wherever you are I wish you found some peace.

                                                                                                                                          • Ariana Grandest
                                                                                                                                            Ariana Grandest  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                            I think I fall inlove with you 😅😍

                                                                                                                                            • Britney Jones
                                                                                                                                              Britney Jones  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                              Omg these comments are my fav!

                                                                                                                                              • Jaime Carrillo
                                                                                                                                                Jaime Carrillo  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                                Did he learn from his mistake?

                                                                                                                                                • Betty Teg
                                                                                                                                                  Betty Teg  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                                  I Still see the love for her in his Eyes😔 ahhhh so sad it kills someone not to have some one u love in ur life😔😔

                                                                                                                                                  • Robin Sego
                                                                                                                                                    Robin Sego  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                                    So extra!

                                                                                                                                                    • monisha elangeswaran

                                                                                                                                                      This guy has been through a lot. Please don't be mean to him in the comments. If u can't make him feel better, it's fine. But, please don't make him feel bad. Poor soul. Bless him

                                                                                                                                                      • Muhammad Amrullah

                                                                                                                                                        awesome inspiration for me

                                                                                                                                                        • ElectriKye
                                                                                                                                                          ElectriKye  Anno fa

                                                                                                                                                          This talk is very scary, on both the physical and the mental levels for reasons I don’t want to spend the time to type here. But this speech is actually potentially harmful for a person’s way of thinking. I understand that he went through a lot, but much of what happened to him seemed to have come from a twisted mindset for which he truly should’ve sought psychological help. If this video shouldn’t be taken down all together, the title should at least be changed. I came here because I read « Why You Should Fall Recklessly In Love » and thought that I was going to get a pep talk about how beautiful life can be and how we should take hold of who we are and what we can accomplish when we let ourselves do so. Instead I got a disturbing 20 minute purge from this man about all the things he went through while unhealthily clinging to a past relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he deserves some respect; but the video title is misleading on so many accounts. *end rant*😂