Loneliness

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  • Published: 17 February 2019
  • Everybody feels lonely sometimes. But only few of us are aware how important this feeling was for our ancestors - and that our modern world can turn it into something that really hurts us. Why do we feel this way and what can we do about it?

    Sources:
    https://sites.google.com/view/sourcesloneliness/startseite

    Books mentioned in the endcard:
    'Emotional First Aid' by Guy Winch
    https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Rejection-Everyday/dp/0142181072/
    'Loneliness' by John Cacioppo & William Patrick
    https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283/

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Comments • 52 990

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  • enxcity
    enxcity  33 minutes back

    I feel called out

    • Y M
      Y M  42 minutes back

      Lonelyness brings me pain and relationship also brings me pain.

      • Richard McWendy Jordan Samuelson

        I'm 19 and called this when I was 14. I prefer being lonely. I know the masses love being with people like Meerkats. I guess I'm slightly autistic or something, I just love being alone.

        • Copomo Pichardo
          Copomo Pichardo  56 minutes back

          Anyone lonely from nyc comment on this so i can eventually make a groupchat we can all join, talk, and maybe hang out sometime. So lonely and depressed for years. Female 22 here. *not sure what app to use yet just trying to get comments for future ads*

          • Belinda Wilson
            Belinda Wilson  57 minutes back

            Volunteer work/participating in community events is a great way to meet people from all walks of life. :)

            • Thapasya Murali
              Thapasya Murali  2 hours back

              at the right time, I stumbled upon this video

              • Grant Paul
                Grant Paul  2 hours back

                Chillin on the couch when i spot this vieeo, annddd guess whos feeling lonely now?

                • 폐물*TRASH*
                  폐물*TRASH*  4 hours back

                  the saddest part about my lonelinesse is that everytime i try to fit in , i try to change my behavior , it feels more sadder , it feels like i'm trying to be something that i'm not , people don't care about you unless your the same as them , same thinking , both like the same things , have something in common , it's just sad , it's like they always give me that 'you're not one of us' look , believe me , from a very young age , i've always been a shy person ,i can't express my feelings easily , and because of that , i've been through so much that made me lose faith in people , i'm hostil towards everyone , i may not show it but everytime i talk to someone , i feel like im not needed , i feel like they hate me , i've changed schools many times so i've met all kinds of people , in the last two years ive tried getting close to this girl who treated me differently , she didn't treat me like an outsider , but , she's been in that school for many years , she has a 'best friend' , and that friend of hers doesn't really enjoy my presence , just like everyone else , she thinks im 'weird' . It's not just school , its everywhere , home ; we never speak much , our family got many issues , outside ; i'm bi raced , i'm always being treated like an outsider , it makes me even more sad because EVEN MY COUNTRY doesn't accept me , it feels like i have no one to one to rely on.... school is stressful 2 , the director hates me for no freaking reason , she alwyas trys to shame me infront of others bringing my past and such , she acts nice to a lot of people so of course they think im just overreacting , i dunno why im writing all this , i know theres no way anyone will read this , i just want to feel better , i hope i can overcome my lonelinesse by myself , it will be a hard road but still , i really want to learn how to be happy even if it means being happy by myself , there is this one teacher who taught me how to love myself , even thought i didnt try my best at her classes , she told me that i was mature and she also told me that being diffrent isnt bad , she said that she really liked me , i did too , she was a great person, someone who loved unconditionally , she offered help when no one did , so i swore to do my best , i hope one , ill meet her and ill tell her about my adventure , about how she helped me , some people won't see it as much but i truely sherish her . By far , she is one of the best people ive ever met . Also , ive never told her how i feel about this wolrd and about everything going on my head , i dont want to bother her , i hope she will live a healthy and happy life ; sorry for the long comment , now i feel better

                • suttaguitar
                  suttaguitar  4 hours back

                  I relate so much to this it's not even funny. It wasnt always like this, I declined and keep on declining and before I realised, everyone was gone.

                  To all of my old friends, sorry for turning down all of your invitations, I did not hate you guys or anything and hope you guys are doing great.

                  • Viridian Sky
                    Viridian Sky  5 hours back

                    I'm at the point where I'm so lonely that I spend a majority of my days fantasizing about my ideal friendships and romantic partner.

                    • Random Name
                      Random Name  5 hours back

                      Decline invitations and reject calls haha jokes on you I never get invitations or calls

                    • Cj king
                      Cj king  6 hours back

                      “Studies have shown that the stress from cronic lonliness is one of the most deadly things we can feel as humans” LMAO OOPS

                      • Fallen 21
                        Fallen 21  7 hours back

                        Live is way better alone. I like it this is gift not depression.

                        • Fallen 21
                          Fallen 21  3 hours back

                          @Several Weather the times we live in are hard to understand. I know people with family's they are lonely. But why you may ask? Always one member of this family working 6 days 12 hours a day to keep family safe. This means we don't understand meaning of lonely. First of all Accept your self and the rest will flow right to you.

                        • NebuCat YT
                          NebuCat YT  3 hours back

                          I am lonely since 5 years,feel normal and I don't care being lonely at all

                        • Several Weather
                          Several Weather  5 hours back

                          I am very lonely but I don't like it.

                      • Wilfried Vomáčka
                        Wilfried Vomáčka  7 hours back

                        This is 100% about me.

                        • The cod bo3 parkour master

                          I'm not even sure anymore. Anytime I'm on School campus in a transition period, people look at me with disgust in their eyes. I swear I see it right in there body with how repulsive I am. I've tried so hard to change myself to be more human, but I don't feel human. Haven't felt the humanity in me for over 12 years...

                          • VVerlaine
                            VVerlaine  8 hours back

                            the animation is always so satisfying to look at.
                            one of the reasons i love your videos.

                            • Mazlum
                              Mazlum  8 hours back

                              Big bullshit
                              This video tries to let us think we need friends in our life, but i feel like most people are assholes today and most of them aren‘t loyal. So in my opinion it‘s better to have no friends or one real than having 100 but no one of them is real. Most friends wouldn‘t help you if you are in a miserable situation. For me one friend is enough but if you don‘t have anyone it isn’t a problem just learn how to love being with yourself or get yourself a dog or cat or whatever

                              • Ghaida
                                Ghaida  9 hours back

                                the music in the background it’s so peaceful ❤️

                                • Hardy Raja
                                  Hardy Raja  9 hours back

                                  I feel lonely around the peoples🙂

                                  • Fc king Sg
                                    Fc king Sg  9 hours back

                                    LEARN TO MEDITATE.. SO HOW TO MEDITATE??? READ BIBLE... MEDITATE MY WORDS DAYS AND NIGHT... THE MOST POWERFUL CHANTS... TALK TO UNIVERSE, BUT ALSO TO HEAR UNIVERSE. BY THEN, YOU EVEN FORGET THE WORD "LONELINESS". IF NOT WORKING, THEN YOU'RE BROKEN... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SALT LOST ITS SALTINESS???? JUST THROWN TO BIN...ATANG WAHAHHAA

                                    • MooWooMoo
                                      MooWooMoo  9 hours back

                                      Is my recommendation trying to tell me something?...

                                      • Pablo450
                                        Pablo450  10 hours back

                                        *I feel so identificated... :(*

                                        • PianoBekas
                                          PianoBekas  10 hours back

                                          Oof

                                          • Gfdx Gfdx
                                            Gfdx Gfdx  11 hours back

                                            I'm personally nearing the end of breaking my loneliness. 5 years ago bullying pushed me out of social matters, but the last 2 years I've been going back

                                            • Hannah Robertson
                                              Hannah Robertson  11 hours back

                                              you are amazing I just realized that i was exspearinsing this for 2 years and im still a kid this only ended about a mounth ago

                                              • Ostravská Klobása
                                                Ostravská Klobása  11 hours back

                                                Alright, these recommendations are getting fucking creepy

                                                • miloradvlaovic
                                                  miloradvlaovic  11 hours back

                                                  Heavens I feel like I've been attacked by Naruto with his merciless talk-no-jutsu. I don't assume anything that's not basically correct. 9/10 people will harm you, and have ill intentions towards you. Competition is a far more favoured by natural selection than cooperation. The 10th person won't wish to harm you, but at some point they'll end up doing so anyway, even if by being careless. As MD Dr. Gregory House said (paraphrasing), you don't need people to like you, love you, or even socialize with you, you just need to make yourself needed by them.
                                                  If we were all just doing our best possible to be good at what we do, and constructively contribute to the world as a whole, loneliness would be an issue only for the dreamy, inferior extroverts and needy hopeless romantics. Who deserve it anyway. So a win win. Not this rubbish new age couching, not completely unfounded (scientifically) but still pure rubbish philosophically. And ethically.

                                                  • Gundam Magic
                                                    Gundam Magic  11 hours back

                                                    I have some massive problems with this video. First of all the health problems from loneliness are massively exaggerated, if you are going to get cancer, have Alzheimer and heart disease just due to loneliness then you would be experiencing so many other health problems way before any of these happens, that cancer Alzheimer and heart diseases will be the last of your concern. Secondly, the way the video describes how lonely people negatively misinterprets people’s intentions seems so pathological that at that point you should be seeking counseling, it is not a problem that can be fixed from having a few conversation with people. And lastly, people become isolated because our peers deemed us “uncool” and “uninteresting”. You can bet your sweet ass that I tried to be outgoing and went to meetups to make friends, but I eventually gave up because they all turned out nil. Nowadays, unless you can fake enthusiasm you can’t even get people to care about you.

                                                  • XxBenisweirdxX
                                                    XxBenisweirdxX  12 hours back

                                                    The Irony of me sitting in my room by myself watching this

                                                  • Kaose T
                                                    Kaose T  13 hours back

                                                    The human race is shit anyway. At least i know i will die with a shitty member

                                                    • X Y
                                                      X Y  13 hours back

                                                      I've been feeling lonely for so long that I kind of internalized it and thought of it as something normal. It doesn't feel good but probably that's just life.

                                                      • Abishek
                                                        Abishek  13 hours back

                                                        Loneliness sometimes makes me work harder and motivates me to convert negative feeling to positive ones.

                                                        • Slasher_Foxy
                                                          Slasher_Foxy  14 hours back

                                                          We are lonely. We.

                                                          • Indi Roque
                                                            Indi Roque  15 hours back

                                                            thank you for talking about this.

                                                            • riveratrackrunner
                                                              riveratrackrunner  15 hours back

                                                              Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani

                                                              • Adip Mahendra
                                                                Adip Mahendra  18 hours back

                                                                Dude, i'm crying right now...oh wait, who am i talking to? i'm alone

                                                                • Donald Pace
                                                                  Donald Pace  19 hours back

                                                                  I never feel lonely I have too much going on inside.

                                                                  • skies lands
                                                                    skies lands  19 hours back

                                                                    I am lonely girl and I feel bored when watching this video lol

                                                                    • Touching Guy
                                                                      Touching Guy  20 hours back

                                                                      When you reach a point in your life where you’ve been alone for so long, you become your own best friend.

                                                                      • CozmicPlayz Minecraft
                                                                        CozmicPlayz Minecraft  21 hours back

                                                                        What was there whenever you were lonely


                                                                        So kid: ur doggo cause it’s mans best friend

                                                                        Me: no gaming is mans best friend and it’s always there for you

                                                                        • Olena Strizhak
                                                                          Olena Strizhak  21 hours back

                                                                          Watching this when my boyfriend is gone hiking for the weekend. To be honest, I have been shy since middle school and I haven't had a friend group since.

                                                                          • Harley Destiny Fatima Hunter

                                                                            Hey everybody! Little piece of wisdom that might help. I'm still working on learning myself ofc but I hope it helps somebody.

                                                                            It all stems from Fear. Fear is like a foundation emotion off of which anger, sadness, loneliness, racism, stress, anxiety, and all those other bad emotions are formed.

                                                                            At least that's what I've learned. Fear is our basic building block instinct to keep us safe. Like if u see a dark cave or steep cliff. Fear is that mechanism that forces us to think pessimistically. We are forced to imagine all the worst possible scenarios to prepare for and avoid the worst. So we see that cave and imagine a Huge Tiger! Even if nothing was there, we are safer for having avoided a potential deadly future.

                                                                            And in the same sense it makes us focus more on dwelling on the past mistakes while dreading our future. We never get the chance to enjoy the moment!

                                                                            Anger and sadness are defense techniques we learn as a strategy for carrying out that "Safe" life fear says we need. We become selfish and mistrusting. Stress actually does make us age faster and kills us. It produces the hormone Cortisol whos purpose is to help us think fast in a crisis like adrenaline but is not meant for chronic doses. Higher cortisol actually makes us more stressed and in turn produce more of it, starting its own vicious cycle. Whenever we are fearful we begin stressing more.

                                                                            So Fear is really a root source for a lot of our issues but instead we treat the symptoms while the cause goes unnoticed.

                                                                            From what I've seen, Love is its opposite. Love is growth and acceptance. Love is selfless. The ability to see somebody elses happiness and well being above your own in importance. Being able to say you would give your life for that person.

                                                                            But the catch is true love we often confuse because even when we swear to God we absolutely love somebody, we have to ask, "Am I still trying to recieve something in return?" Even if you are desiring just a hug or talking, u have failed at truly loving them. Yes u can want those things for yourself, but as long as u have that idea in the back of ur mind that maybe doing something nice will EARN those things, u don't have true love. The only true love is unconditional but it's a concept almost impossible to acheive. Even parents will abandon their children at some point. It might take a LOT but the condition exists. Just very far. And that is what we actually strive for. Pushing that confition limit as far as we can by being patient and forgiving since we can never reach perfect true love. To do this is actually a choice. One that we have to continue making each day. Stay loyal no matter how much we get hurt or don't recieve. Sometimes we even lie to ourselves and say we are in love when we honestly just can't believe how lonely our reality is. Losing sense of reality is another protective mechanism stemming from fear. The brain knows it will be in a crisis if it has to accept reality so it willingly lives its own lie.

                                                                            We should all strive to lessen our fear. Take chances and leave our bubbles of safety. And take responsibility for our own feelings. We can't keep blaming outside sources for us not being happy. Others can impact our physical lives but NOBODY can force the way u interperet it and feel. Happiness is a choice. Only then will we be able to stop being lonely as well as cure other emotional issues like anger or laziness and depression. Curing fear allows us to grow closer to true love😊

                                                                            I hope this helps some people. Idk u, but I really care bout all people! Ur not alone. Just breathe and relax into the moment. Everything will be ok. We are survivors together❤️❤️❤️

                                                                          • steven universe
                                                                            steven universe  22 hours back

                                                                            being loneley is not painful its feels great

                                                                            • despacito 2
                                                                              despacito 2  22 hours back

                                                                              so this just made me remember that i have a Washington DC 2 day long trip and everyone around 3 to 4 people for a room and I probably won't have anyone to share a room with. which isn't that bad for me, but I'd prefer to have one. probably won't though and will be forced.

                                                                              • Jamer1A
                                                                                Jamer1A  23 hours back

                                                                                If that hurts, imagine adding Asperger's syndrome to a mental condition where they find it difficult to make friends, they don't understand the subtle clues needed for this. They use language in a somewhat strange way and often take literal meanings of what they read or hear. They are happier with the routines and a structured environment, when they find it difficult to decide what to do they fall into their favorite activities. They love praise, they win and they are the first, but failure, imperfection and criticism have a hard time coping. Bad behavior often comes from the inability to communicate your frustrations and anxieties

                                                                                • Shark Boy1210
                                                                                  Shark Boy1210  23 hours back

                                                                                  There’s a scary lack of birds in this vid tho

                                                                                  • Good ol' No Name
                                                                                    Good ol' No Name  24 hours back

                                                                                    I personally find everybody too boring to have friends, but because I'm a human I still want a life mate.... Damn biological needs >:(