The Beautiful Truth About Online Dating | Arum Kang & Dawoon Kang | TEDxUCDavisSF

  • Published: 27 July 2015
  • Arum & Dawoon Kang teach us about the truth about online dating. No longer are we looking for significant others in the traditional avenue. We need to understand the fine points about the other venues we are using, online dating.
    Arum loves being in the consumer space. She has experience working at Avon Products as well as Amazon, leading efforts to understand consumer needs and behavior to deliver superior product experiences. After graduating from Harvard Business School, Arum is excited to start a business that leverages technology to bring something truly valuable to consumers.
    After wandering around for years trying to find her passion, Dawoon is happy to be finally working on a matter close to her heart, with & for people she loves! Prior to CMB, she lived & worked in Korea, Japan, New York, India & Hong Kong, in a variety of roles that spanned from strategy & business development, marketing, research to investing/finance. She is a proud graduate of Stanford Graduate School of Business.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 787

  • Kathythat is horable thing to say Lunau

    I got turned down by a parapegic man , i really liked him , i think it was because i was on odsp , and 15 years older than him ,

    • Dark_Architect1
      Dark_Architect1  Pirms 6 dienām

      The only problem is when you never get like by anyone. So your just alone and cant message anyone.

      • Ivaylo Petkov
        Ivaylo Petkov  Pirms 6 dienām

        Since when is it creepy for a 27 year old man to like a 21 year old woman?

        • George MiLo
          George MiLo  Pirms 7 dienām

          Dating site: How come men distrust our content? Also dating site: Creates fake woman profile for data gathering only.

          • Vince Warren
            Vince Warren  Pirms 8 dienām

  's creepy for men in their 30's to be attracted to younger women (early 20's is still full grown) by nature because they're more fertile but it's okay for younger women to be drawn to (not attracted) to men who have a high salary (typically men 30+)? Watch out fellas.

            • TorchBaby
              TorchBaby  Pirms 12 dienām

              Haha sorry guys, same women crying at 40 , That they're single

              • mrkrinkle72
                mrkrinkle72  Pirms 12 dienām

                Women just want arm candy to show off to their Girlfriend. Their tastes in Men never progress past High School.

                • Sam Dan
                  Sam Dan  Pirms 13 dienām

                  Giving woman a vote means man must be remote

                  • Patricia Mae Recto
                    Patricia Mae Recto  Pirms 15 dienām

                    I think meeting someone online, you chat a little, get to know them and after some days of chatting you have to meet up and that's where the real dating starts. You have to meet up to date for real. If you just do virtual dating and no plans of meeting in person, then you're wasting your time.

                    • Ana Franco
                      Ana Franco  Pirms 15 dienām

                      I saw these chicks in the shark tank

                      • Melody Morga
                        Melody Morga  Pirms 15 dienām

                        The beautiful truth about online dating - nice caption and it makes me watch this video. About to install an online app but as I browse on comments here, I wonder if it really works or not. I just don't agree with the data about women into rich men thing. It doesn't apply to all though. 🤭 Thanks anyway TEDx Talks.

                        • Rock-E Oldboy
                          Rock-E Oldboy  Pirms 15 dienām

                          Online dating is toxic, destroys every meaning of love and is just terrible

                          • Robert Maxa
                            Robert Maxa  Pirms 16 dienām

                            Can't do it, can't sink that low. I'd sooner be alone, and miserable.

                            • AmazianLinsation82
                              AmazianLinsation82  Pirms 16 dienām

                              Libtards preach no judgement and safe spaces and yet tards like these techies promote online dating and apps which are the epitome of judging and ridicule based on appearance and appeal on surface deep

                              • It'sGio Official
                                It'sGio Official  Pirms 17 dienām

                                A female friend consistently whipes right on Tinder for a day: 30 matches 23 messages. I do the same for a week , 7 matches, 3 messages. 3 look like Donkeys 🤷🏽‍♂️

                                • It'sGio Official
                                  It'sGio Official  Pirms 21 Stundas

                                  @Coco Jumbo 😂😂

                                  • Coco Jumbo
                                    Coco Jumbo  Pirms 10 dienām

                                    You did well, I got 2 donkeys and 1 elephant from 6 months of relentless swiping

                                    • Tx240
                                      Tx240  Pirms 18 dienām

                                      "threshold of creepiness." It's good to see she isn't judgemental. The irony of this "creepy" factor is that the statistics showed that younger women were more attracted to men with higher salaries (aka older men).

                                      • Nouran Alaa
                                        Nouran Alaa  Pirms 27 dienām

                                        I love this feedback one of the most beautiful & real videos about love online experience that most people rejects....I've always had doubts towards dating someone online till I experienced it myself ....& Guess what it could happen to you too...coz simply the one you will never appeal to through texts you obviously won't like in a face to face interaction.... only if we allow ourselves to be true enough open to possibilities we may end up in real long lasting relationship the rules are always the same it only takes some courage to start a whole new experience based on honesty and acceptance chances are ...having what you always dreamed of 👍👍

                                        • Nouran Alaa
                                          Nouran Alaa  Pirms 25 dienām

                                          @Samuel Kim it was all by chance back then...never logged in to a dating website or anything like that it was not intended or anything it all began when he sent me a friend request on Facebook almost seven years ago it was not easy we aparted then reunioned the point should be clear here that there will be challenges to live & face maybe harder than in normal ways to establish a relationship ...all I know he is the only man for me ever since the day we yes sometimes it worth it ....wish you best of luck 👍

                                          • Samuel Kim
                                            Samuel Kim  Pirms 25 dienām

                                            Hi Nouran, I am glad you shared your opinion about this TedTalks video. I have never tried online dating apps or even websites before because I was always skeptical about the malicious stereotypes of online dating. However, watching this video and gaining insight from your own experience made me see online dating differently. I am glad that online dating has worked for you! Thanks for your words of advice and in fact, I may try it myself one day. :)

                                            • sUAS TWIC
                                              sUAS TWIC  Pirms 29 dienām

                                              *SOME DATING SITE /APPS WILL GET YOU SET UP TO BE ROB AND POSSIBLY KILLED.* After meeting a girl POF she became automatically homeless and needed a place to stay, *she wanted to stay at my home to rob me.*

                                              • JonnyJon
                                                JonnyJon  Pirms Mēneša

                                                Good advise

                                                • Grand Anse
                                                  Grand Anse  Pirms Mēneša

                                                  What do men look for online?

                                                  • Robbie Rob pe5z
                                                    Robbie Rob pe5z  Pirms 17 dienām

                                                    Glory hole.

                                                    • rjrox1000
                                                      rjrox1000  Pirms Mēneša

                                                      All good job paid audience for laughing for everything

                                                      • Roz Caffrey
                                                        Roz Caffrey  Pirms Mēneša

                                                        Online dating is not fine LIKE YOU COULD DIE FROM IY

                                                        • SuperQdaddy
                                                          SuperQdaddy  Pirms Mēneša

                                                          It's called online because 90%..stay online and disappear when it's time to meet....if more folks would use skype we could actually see the real person. !!before wasting time traveling

                                                          • Juan Gonzalez
                                                            Juan Gonzalez  Pirms Mēneša

                                                            Qqqqqq you

                                                            • threekingdoms mgtow
                                                              threekingdoms mgtow  Pirms Mēneša

                                                              MGTOW and vasectomy are the answers.

                                                              • bob o
                                                                bob o  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                Anyone who spends their days or nights with online dating must certainly have lots of free time. I barely have time for a haircut.

                                                                • The Truth
                                                                  The Truth  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                  this is no online dating just online profiles that women never respond to ,i guess cause they think there has to be someone better at the next Click ,how sad ,i'm glad the women are happy.....

                                                                  • Plan C
                                                                    Plan C  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                    The beauty of online dating 🤣🤣🤣 lying women and men trying to scam each other. The companies don’t want people to meet as if they did they would no longer have any more clients.

                                                                    • Luminous
                                                                      Luminous  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                      2:25 Last I checked, the legal age is 18.

                                                                      • Mike Mcguinness
                                                                        Mike Mcguinness  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                        That was pointless

                                                                        • totallysawthat
                                                                          totallysawthat  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                          I guess Leo DiCaprio is way in the creepy threshold... hard pill to swallow men age like wine women age like milk.

                                                                          • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                            sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                            you make it sound so easy I've talked to over 3,000 people most of them fake

                                                                            • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                              sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                              and why don't they have free local sites

                                                                              • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                                sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                none of them will go on video chat so what's the sense of even trying I gave up

                                                                                • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                                  sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                  I don't care how hot she is if you don't have a personality I don't want to be with her

                                                                                  • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                                    sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                    and wrong we just don't all go for looks we like personality as well

                                                                                    • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                                      sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                      okay maybe 5%

                                                                                      • sanesaint jhonson
                                                                                        sanesaint jhonson  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                        is there really women on dating sites I thought they were all fake

                                                                                        • Luuk van Basten Batenburg
                                                                                          Luuk van Basten Batenburg  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                          "why don't you say something more besides 'Hi'" is she addressing men or women??? Oh wait. women don't have to initiate in this world dating culture...

                                                                                          • Luuk van Basten Batenburg
                                                                                            Luuk van Basten Batenburg  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                            I'm income top 10%, [email protected] top 0.1%, EQ top 1%, Attractiveness maybe 20% down from the top (for may age, most of my life) and women give me CHIT

                                                                                            • Muzzy337
                                                                                              Muzzy337  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                              Online dating is a giant used car lot where the vehicles have no odometers.

                                                                                              • maverick0698
                                                                                                maverick0698  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                Warning: below you will find people who aren't picking the right people on dating sites (and in real life) and then complaining about their past dates/matches. You have been warned.

                                                                                                • Terb
                                                                                                  Terb  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                  Profile pic fits with the comment lol. I agree what u said but seriously people online is weird. So many thots, so many fake people, the chances of success is like 1%

                                                                                                  • deangelo taylor
                                                                                                    deangelo taylor  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                    just go MGTOW

                                                                                                    • deangelo taylor
                                                                                                      deangelo taylor  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                      im not exactly MGTOW but very similar to it .you find what you like in life and live for that. i think it is a good idea to watch a lot of MGTOW videos and other things so you know what to look out for to help keep your self safe. i would say MGTOW monk is the best way to go, at least thats what i think is the safest way to go.

                                                                                                      • Luuk van Basten Batenburg
                                                                                                        Luuk van Basten Batenburg  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                        MGTOW how do you cope?

                                                                                                        • Its Just Jeremy Yo
                                                                                                          Its Just Jeremy Yo  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                          Me dating someone my own age (currently 42): Date one: $100 dinner & drinks "All men are pigs." Date two: $100 dinner & drinks "All men are pigs." GHOSTED. Me not dating for 6-8 months.

                                                                                                          • valar
                                                                                                            valar  Pirms 22 dienām

                                                                                                            Obviously. (Or perhaps not, for some men, apparently.)

                                                                                                            • Femme Fatale
                                                                                                              Femme Fatale  Pirms 22 dienām

                                                                                                              valar and don’t complain or feel entitled to anything

                                                                                                              • valar
                                                                                                                valar  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                                Just do coffee dates.

                                                                                                                • Jose Francisco da Silva e Oliveira

                                                                                                                  Very solid TED Talk. One of the best I've seen in years. Kudos 👏👏

                                                                                                                  • Gary Edwards
                                                                                                                    Gary Edwards  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                    I got my TPlus just by using: Type upon Google *Tindero Plus* always works for me

                                                                                                                    • Colin English
                                                                                                                      Colin English  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                      Online dating is ravaging intimate human connection - in my humble opinion and experience.

                                                                                                                      • DaviT
                                                                                                                        DaviT  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                                        yeap....The only place I find have more honest people are straight hooking up sites....most of them eliminate the necessity of making you look very grand ....Human interaction is reduced to more raw attraction over more mainstream stuff like Tinder

                                                                                                                        • Kay M
                                                                                                                          Kay M  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                          Useless and uninteresting talk

                                                                                                                          • Paul G
                                                                                                                            Paul G  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                            Most women are GOLD DIGGERS....look at the mega old rich guys...always with the hottest girls. ..

                                                                                                                            • Tangerinetaco
                                                                                                                              Tangerinetaco  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                              Aww, this was so sweet! Thank you for this talk! It all makes so much more sense now :-)

                                                                                                                              • C G
                                                                                                                                C G  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                Mgtow is the only way to go. Dating, relationships and marriage is a waste of time and resources.

                                                                                                                                • Alex Williams
                                                                                                                                  Alex Williams  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                  @C G Why don't the women wise up and change their ways. Why should men have to make all the compromises??

                                                                                                                                  • C G
                                                                                                                                    C G  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                    Alex Williams lol I know however men out there need to wake up. Especially the younger men coming up.

                                                                                                                                    • Alex Williams
                                                                                                                                      Alex Williams  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                      You're preaching to the choir brother.

                                                                                                                                      • Momo UwU
                                                                                                                                        Momo UwU  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                        That lisp though

                                                                                                                                        • Ceco Elvisa
                                                                                                                                          Ceco Elvisa  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                          Dating is superficial in general , not just online dating . People are vain

                                                                                                                                          • maverick0698
                                                                                                                                            maverick0698  Pirms Mēneša

                                                                                                                                            Chances are you've been dating the wrong people.

                                                                                                                                            • Derrick Zorns
                                                                                                                                              Derrick Zorns  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                              I did what she said it didn’t work 😂

                                                                                                                                              • Apaphis
                                                                                                                                                Apaphis  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                Online dating overall is a scam and a great waste of time for men.

                                                                                                                                                • trevor h
                                                                                                                                                  trevor h  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                  Great talk. Do they have it in English?

                                                                                                                                                  • JASON KALANI
                                                                                                                                                    JASON KALANI  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                    Men going after young women is creepy? Haha

                                                                                                                                                    • steve smith
                                                                                                                                                      steve smith  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                      Dating websites are just a damaged goods convention

                                                                                                                                                      • iicei
                                                                                                                                                        iicei  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                        On line dating sites are hunting grounds for Cluster B mentally ill Narcissists leading to abuse and emotional manipulation.

                                                                                                                                                        • Ken Locke,@
                                                                                                                                                          Ken Locke,@  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                          Hahaha funny the conclusion, when women are allowed endless space. But men don't have space to finish a single thought! Hahaha yes men even online dating sites are configured for woman to win!!

                                                                                                                                                          • Terry Howard
                                                                                                                                                            Terry Howard  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                            Amazing video!!!

                                                                                                                                                            • Jamie A
                                                                                                                                                              Jamie A  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                              No. 1 criteria is actually RACE and LOOKS

                                                                                                                                                              • Kim
                                                                                                                                                                Kim  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                and profile. Also, if you mean looks in terms of does this man look like he's showered the day of the photo? Does he look well groomed? Does he smile and act natural or is he posing in front of a bathroom mirror flexing muscles to impress himself? Does he appear to want to look tough? If a woman likes all those things he might be approached but otherwise, not so much.

                                                                                                                                                                • Value Venture Investing
                                                                                                                                                                  Value Venture Investing  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                  How do the two groups have the same average age and height if the two groups are those who are single and those who are not single. Is that not the same as just saying the average of the sample population? lol.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Bradley Schubert
                                                                                                                                                                    Bradley Schubert  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                    Sell sell sell.... Get that membership money... Its just a cash machine.

                                                                                                                                                                    • bob23456 bob
                                                                                                                                                                      bob23456 bob  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                      Men looks Women height and money

                                                                                                                                                                      • hunpo1
                                                                                                                                                                        hunpo1  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                        Women looks, height, money, social status...the list grows longer every year. Don't play their game.

                                                                                                                                                                        • Melissa Jamma
                                                                                                                                                                          Melissa Jamma  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                          Great talk!! I like how they gave us workable solutions and left us feeling hopeful and inspired. Great job!

                                                                                                                                                                          • Tom Ciaccio
                                                                                                                                                                            Tom Ciaccio  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                            So much for the strong silent type?

                                                                                                                                                                            • I ROAM ALONE
                                                                                                                                                                              I ROAM ALONE  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                              I wanna 3 way these two 😍

                                                                                                                                                                              • Chlarie Peace
                                                                                                                                                                                Chlarie Peace  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                There is nothing beatuiful about on line dating all horrible man it was banning

                                                                                                                                                                                • rocky76dude
                                                                                                                                                                                  rocky76dude  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                  I am not going through online rating and requesting older than 25 to 35 my bio age

                                                                                                                                                                                  • Dima Medved
                                                                                                                                                                                    Dima Medved  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                    This comment section is an incel incubator. We all float down here, if you scroll down, you'll float too.

                                                                                                                                                                                    • Mana Man
                                                                                                                                                                                      Mana Man  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                      If you can find a 58 year old that can pop out 6 kids...

                                                                                                                                                                                      • Ruth Fanfan
                                                                                                                                                                                        Ruth Fanfan  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                        Threshold of creepiness, lol that's so funny.

                                                                                                                                                                                        • Tom Ciaccio
                                                                                                                                                                                          Tom Ciaccio  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                          Thanks- good input 😺

                                                                                                                                                                                          • Aron Bechiom
                                                                                                                                                                                            Aron Bechiom  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                                                            I've mixed and matched, in depth profiles, blank with pic, likes/dislikes, ALL of it... Turns out, it boils down to SMV and the Chad/Tyrone factor.