The Christian Dating Boundaries No One Talks About

  • Published: 22 December 2018
  • My other videos on sex / purity / boundaries / dating :)
    Sex Before Marriage -
    Why I'm Waiting Until Marriage -
    Christian Dating Advice -
    How Far is Too Far -

    Verses this video was founded on:
    -Proverbs 4:23
    -Ecclesiastes 3
    -Song of Solomon 8:4

    PO Box address:
    Becca Eller
    PO Box #20
    10420 State Street
    Mossville, IL 61552

    I make all of my videos for Jesus. I don't know where I would be without Him.

    Song: I've Been... by Andy Mineo :)


    You are SO loved. Be so blessed in Jesus,

Comments • 1 183

  • Autistic Spice
    Autistic Spice  3 weeks back

    I’m 26 & just had to walk out of a relationship that i was too unwise / conflicted to continue in good faith. I feel like i’m just now learning what guarding your heart means beyond avoiding sexual debauchery. I appreciate your perspective here

    I want to share my own goals about family with my dates, and i want to know what my dates’ goals are, once we know that we get along. But you’re right, milling over wedding details / our kids’ names is presuming too much when she & i are not engaged / expecting

    • 아띠
      아띠  1 months back

      Wow, honestly, I just love your YouTube channel and I’ve to say that you are so nice, so lovely. May GOD bless you beyond measures! 🙏🏾

      I’ve watched plenty of videos about being a Christian girl, and often I do feel some kind of resistance... But with you, it never happens. You seem so nice and you’re so gentle, pure and you speak wisely and in an understanding way. Never judging. You’re an example of being a godly woman, in my eyes. Truly, thank you and Thanks be to GOD for allowing me to discover your channel ! :)

      • Dan
        Dan  1 months back

        Kissing? A peck on the cheek? I suppose that's okay (so long as it's in a public place - never spend time alone together in the same room/building)

        • Turkey
          Turkey  1 months back

          My rule is this: Don't do anything with this other person that would make it awkward for you to be at their wedding if you broke up. You should be able to look their spouse in the eye and tell them, without guilt, that you are happy for them.

          • Alfred Sadiq
            Alfred Sadiq  1 months back

            Will you marry me

            • Sandra Muramba
              Sandra Muramba  1 months back

              It's different from what we usually hear and I 100% totally agree with you ...

              • Sabian Capote
                Sabian Capote  1 months back

                Andy Mineo is following Lecrae a devil worshipper

                • Taghi Farmani
                  Taghi Farmani  1 months back

                  So I fell in love with a catholic girl, but I couldn't get a positive reply. We have been friends for about 6 months but when I asked her out and expressed my feelings she just started to ignore me. She didn't even give me a no, just started avoiding me which is harsh. So many people told me that an atheist and a Christian can't get along but our friendship over the past 6 months was extraordinary. I was even ready to convert to Christianity because of her. I just wish I had never met her.

                  • Abigail
                    Abigail  2 months back

                    I watched this video when you first uploaded it and at that time I commented that I loved your video but that I disagreed with some things. Now watching it again, I’ve since broken up with the guy I was dating at the time and realized that I should really be taking the advice you’ve given here. So again, thank you so much for this video, love you!

                    • FarAwayDistance
                      FarAwayDistance   2 months back

                      Aww girl I love you too <3 Thanks for commenting this!

                  • Aaron Corley
                    Aaron Corley  2 months back

                    If you are preparing for marriage , why do you not study Bible together?

                    • Aaron Corley
                      Aaron Corley  2 months back

                      What does guard your heart mean ?

                      • Camilla Rosa
                        Camilla Rosa  2 months back

                        Good advice. Thanks for reaching out to girls and talk about these issues. Keep up the good work!

                        • Emma Jean
                          Emma Jean  2 months back

                          i needed this video SO much. i did not have sex with my ex but did connect with him in other ways you talked about in this video. i would have never thought to even have boundaries emotionally and spiritually. it’s helped me understand some of my struggles post breakup. THANK YOU

                          • KLMS B
                            KLMS B  3 months back

                            You are so humble and sweet omg! Keep up representing Christ sis!

                            • Bethanie Oberreuter
                              Bethanie Oberreuter  3 months back

                              This wouldve been soooooo helpful to my past self at 16...wish i could change certain things ive done.

                              • hendrix4151
                                hendrix4151  3 months back

                                you are smart a good speaker and pretty.

                                • HiddenTalent
                                  HiddenTalent  3 months back

                                  I believe that if there are so, so many things you have to be careful NOT to do, why not just wait for God’s go-ahead and be sure?

                                  There was a similar situation with a friend of mine. She’s a Christian and is dating a guy. She told me that their pastor had prayed over the relationship. I was mildly confused and unsure on how to advice her bc I understand that everyone’s relationship with God is different—but shouldn’t there be some consistency across the board? What if every teen starts dating someone now without asking God for direction and defend themselves with the “conviction card”?

                                  I’m honestly confused because I see so many young people like me get into a relationship for reasons I’m not sure and then they try to tempt me and say “well how else are you going to know the person you’re going to marry?” And I feel old fashioned when I tell them I’ll pray for the will of God. Gosh, this topic is controversial and so many of my friends have questions concerning this area.

                                  But the adults in my church shut it down with the “you’re too young and you have no reason to be dating in the first place” and the “pray for the will of God and then talk to the elders to get approval” and the “Is it scriptural???”

                                  I personally don’t want to mess up my life with all that drama that comes with teen dating. I’d like to stay focused, finish my studies, let God use me to impact lives (although still praying for a husband in the background) THEN cross that bridge when I get to it. There’s A LOT you can learn about relationships without having to get into one. I’d just rather be on the safe side of things. But of course, I’m still growing and understanding that God is a lot more... I want to say “unconventional” than the Christian community thinks. It’s important to be careful with that, though—I don’t mean “unconventional” like progressive, but not tied down to religion and rules humans made up and call Christianity. It really varies for everyone, but should never conflict in anyway with the Scripture. That’s a big one for me, that it never conflicts with Scripture.

                                  But I can actually relate with you though. There are a lot of things God tells me that I know my church leaders won’t agree with. So I keep it to myself, having in mind that place in the Bible that talks about not causing others to stumble because you personally aren’t convicted with that one thing (e.g. God may allow you to drink wine once in a while but doing it my cause your best friend, who’s not there yet, to stumble and sear their conscience). You get me?

                                  Oop. I spoke to much, lol 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

                                  • jwhalstrom75
                                    jwhalstrom75  3 months back

                                    Fantastic video! A wonderful perspective.

                                    • The Official Isaac Linkowski

                                      Just to clarify, my opinion... I would say it’s a good thing to study at least once in a while, cuz then you can see how he/she interprets things, and their perspective in what your reading. For example, if he/she is constantly taking verses out of context, ur gonna wanna know about it. But I would agree to not just do it with him/her every time you go into the word, or pray. But this was very helpful! Thanks!

                                      • Kalei Kathleen
                                        Kalei Kathleen  3 months back

                                        Thank you!!!

                                        • Bronze
                                          Bronze  3 months back

                                          I don't think most Christians have to worry about relationships, since the churches keep the genders separated. My church just had a single women's luncheon....It would be nice to get rejected at least...we can all fantasize.

                                          • Set Apart
                                            Set Apart  4 months back

                                            Becca !!!
                                            I love you so much. You’re so inspiring. I’ve been a subscriber since 2017 and I thank God He led me to you!
                                            I’ve created a Christian channel too 🧡!
                                            Thanks for hearing from God and inspiring us too! God bless you and your household!
                                            We Win !!!

                                            Btw your videos almost seem tailored for me!

                                            • zoe pagaduan
                                              zoe pagaduan  5 months back

                                              my partner is spiritually not okay.. and the tendency we always talk about S stuffs. and its hard for me ... becauss he hate it when i change the topic.. or i talk bible topics.. like that.. i dnt want to live in this kind of relatioship. every action that i have he always talk about it as a negative way..... its been a mnth. and i hate this.

                                              • Kalvin Lee
                                                Kalvin Lee  5 months back

                                                the best contraceptive for christian men is to be a real christian..........women hate that with a passion

                                                • Michele Dobbs
                                                  Michele Dobbs  5 months back

                                                  Thank you so much for this!

                                                  • Jonathan Ganesh
                                                    Jonathan Ganesh  5 months back

                                                    god was created by a human to control other humans...forcing who, when, where, how and what you have sex with. Ain't it funny god never tells this to other animals. Lol. Just have as much sex and get intimate with as many people as you can, otherwise how will you truly know them?

                                                    • Zack Amethyst
                                                      Zack Amethyst  4 months back

                                                      @Jonathan Ganesh k

                                                    • Jonathan Ganesh
                                                      Jonathan Ganesh  4 months back

                                                      @Zack Amethyst that's romance, not sex. Two different drugs.

                                                    • Zack Amethyst
                                                      Zack Amethyst  4 months back

                                                      How about decent conversations and being there in times of need?

                                                  • Camille Lewis
                                                    Camille Lewis  5 months back

                                                    Inspired by God's word through you, His vessel. All the best in your relationship!

                                                    • Lauren Gonzalez
                                                      Lauren Gonzalez  5 months back

                                                      Thank you so much, I went through a breakup 4 months ago and it was so very hard to heal and honestly I’m still healing. I didn’t understand why it hurt so much but you’re so right it’s so very difficult to heal when you had that spiritual connection you just wanna keep running back to them and asking for prayer and advice and study the Bible with them when you know it’s not God’s timing or will for that rn. Thank you for using your wisdom and opening my eyes on where I fell short guarding my heart ( including ya always talking about the future and marriage). It felt so pure but also I felt convicted and I ignored it in those times cause I didn’t even think of that spiritual connection. Love you Becca❤️

                                                      • fallenSlave
                                                        fallenSlave  5 months back

                                                        kissing with the tonglue makes boys have an erection. And erection is already a sexual act in the hearth according to Matthew5:28 so, better save your kiss till marriage if you did not saved it.

                                                        • fallenSlave
                                                          fallenSlave  5 months back

                                                          Legalistic? Why you always use this word, when the Holy Bible teaches what you say?

                                                          • fallenSlave
                                                            fallenSlave  5 months back

                                                            1. Save your first kiss till the day of your marriage.

                                                            2. Save your virginity till the night of your Marriage

                                                            3. Dont stay in a room alone with an oposite sex. If it is not your cousin or sister, or mother.

                                                            • Tayler Peoples
                                                              Tayler Peoples  5 months back

                                                              YESSSSSSS. I had sex prior to being intentional in dating and setting my own boundaries. I am now celibate but now Im working through the process of breaking the soul ties that sex creates. Soul ties are so real and I wish I understood better before I made the decisions that I did!

                                                              • Ashlyn Carter
                                                                Ashlyn Carter  6 months back

                                                                such great advice

                                                                • jenna c
                                                                  jenna c  6 months back

                                                                  this was super helpful

                                                                  • BLANK BLANK
                                                                    BLANK BLANK  6 months back

                                                                    I am 100% convinced YOU are the lady he wants to marry! He has already made up his mind! A SUPERIOR counterpart is hard enough to find! He is going to be VERY careful not top lose you!

                                                                    • VICTOR ITA
                                                                      VICTOR ITA  6 months back

                                                                      Thanks a lot for this has answered a lot of the questions I had about a Christian relationship. Thanks and God bless you.

                                                                      • Lili Grace
                                                                        Lili Grace  6 months back

                                                                        This advice really helped me understand more about how to take my relationship seriously...I thought that I wasn't sharing Gd with my boyfriend enough but I think your totally right when you say we are meant to keep it separate until marriage. Keep up the amazing advice from God xx

                                                                        • Koaletti
                                                                          Koaletti  6 months back

                                                                          Awesome insight! I really needed this!!!💕

                                                                          • SARKEK
                                                                            SARKEK  6 months back

                                                                            God bless you and keep you.

                                                                            • Brianna Nichole
                                                                              Brianna Nichole  6 months back

                                                                              Hi, I’m an atheist :)

                                                                              • Christina
                                                                                Christina  6 months back

                                                                                You weren't rambling. i think dating is a modern made-up deal that often tries to mimic marriage without being marriage. So, it's incredibly important to define and adhere to boundaries while still getting a solid idea of whom you're dating (compatibility in goals, values, relationship with the Lord etc).

                                                                                • Annie Cott
                                                                                  Annie Cott  6 months back

                                                                                  Great advice. Especially the last point about not studying the bible together. That's so important and it's where a lot of Christians get themselves hurt. Bless you for this.

                                                                                  • Daniel Tulalessy
                                                                                    Daniel Tulalessy  6 months back

                                                                                    Do you kiss your boyfriend? 😅

                                                                                    • Jus Jason
                                                                                      Jus Jason  6 months back

                                                                                      Thank you for this video. You even put the scriptures in the description. God bless you ma’am.

                                                                                      • francesca sibley
                                                                                        francesca sibley  6 months back

                                                                                        very wise❤

                                                                                        • Yeshua is light
                                                                                          Yeshua is light  6 months back

                                                                                          With kissing, I believe this is a very deep intimate thing that joins you both together. I have heard of many prostitutes who only refuse to kiss because it connects them emotionally.
                                                                                          What you have said is so beautiful, thank you for sharing and I do agree with you and this is such an important message.
                                                                                          But you are opening becoming soul tied by kissing, no doubt. I would like to hear other people’s thoughts?

                                                                                          • David Tucker
                                                                                            David Tucker  6 months back

                                                                                            So question for another video maybe. How does a guy find out a girl's view on headship? I believe that to be something important He has set up in the relationship (not sexist, He sets the man up as the provider and the one He ultimately holds responsible in a relationship, this is why He asked for Adam in the Garden and not Eve). I'm trying to figure out a way to ask that without being super awkward about it.

                                                                                            • Jeremiah Tassinari
                                                                                              Jeremiah Tassinari  6 months back

                                                                                              "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

                                                                                              Only Jesus Christ is the way to Heaven and be saved from hell.

                                                                                              "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
                                                                                              Romans 5:8

                                                                                              "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

                                                                                              Have you believed in your heart that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins, was buried, and rose from the grave? You must believe that Jesus is the one who paid for your sins and rose again to be saved from eternal damnation and instead go to heaven

                                                                                              "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9

                                                                                              "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." 1 John 5:7