People share red flags which they ignored during dating before marriage

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  • Published: 10 July 2019
  • Reddit people who realized their spouse is a completely different person after marriage, were there any red flags that you ignored while dating? If so, what were they?

Comments • 168

  • Lavina Bowman
    Lavina Bowman  1 months back

    Awww man. I need to join the army so I can tell my spouse his opinions don't matter. Shush you civilian🤣🤣🤣

    • Ale Titan
      Ale Titan  2 months back

      9:47 I hate these types of people

      • wawa Elias
        wawa Elias  2 months back

        She didn’t give a shit the first couple times I got her what she wanted she would just give me a little kiss , and after years years and years of doing it she would just throw the stuff on the floor with out looking in the box , and her saying I only hangout with guys because that’s who I get along with the best but that’s what she used to make me jealous!!

        • invadernik
          invadernik  2 months back

          moral. don't be a fucking idiot. don't get married.

          • Tess Of The Tales
            Tess Of The Tales  2 months back

            The last story sounds so much like my own parents’ story! My mum ended up kicking my dad out of the house after years of him being emotionally and sometimes physically abusive I believe (I was only 7 at the time so I don’t know for sure, but I bet he was physically abusive to her). Now she’s happily married to my stepdad and my dad has had multiple failed relationships and constantly blames my brother and I for his failed life. I haven’t spoken to him in months and I’m happier for it.

            • California Cobra
              California Cobra  3 months back

              That last story sounds A LOT like my family, except my biological father is dead (died from prostate cancer) and my stepfather, whom I consider my real father is really awesome. He has done so much for me and my brother 😊

              • Marieda Parellio
                Marieda Parellio  3 months back

                It’s a general rule that if they cheat WITH you they are more likely to cheat ON you. There are exceptions of course but why risk your heart on someone who’s already proved they are capable of cheating?

                • ferox965
                  ferox965  3 months back

                  For me, it was a toxic co dependent relationship she had with her mother. I should have paid attention.

                  • AudOldEnds
                    AudOldEnds  3 months back

                    That one about the partner not liking sex actually turned out super sweet

                    • Nicholas Ali
                      Nicholas Ali  3 months back

                      What’s so bad about an uncle having his toddler nieces sit on his lap?

                      • Austin Huber
                        Austin Huber  3 months back

                        Oh no he wouldn't make you a sandwich unless you asked. How could your marriage survive?

                        • Austin Huber
                          Austin Huber  3 months back

                          @dil oreo In my mindset, he's a pathetic baby. That makes it true.

                        • dil oreo
                          dil oreo  3 months back

                          It's his mindset that's harmful. It's shows in even the small things people do.

                      • ThatStrangeBugGirl
                        ThatStrangeBugGirl  3 months back

                        My husband is my best friend first and my lover second, meaning that we enjoy sex with each other but our base friendship is the most important thing to us. If we never had sex with each other again we would still be really happy together. Sex for us is icing on the cake but not a necessity. We just love each other’s company and do what we can to support each other. He’s my best friend, my family, and my daughters father ❤️

                        • KM
                          KM  3 months back

                          Feeunkay.

                          • MakeupLover
                            MakeupLover  3 months back

                            At first I thought this was a reference to Arrested Development. (Tobias Funke) lol

                        • zoe
                          zoe  3 months back

                          i hope that girl with the asexual husband realizes that leaving someone due to sexual incompatibility is not a bad thing...

                          • Eureka Mreum
                            Eureka Mreum  3 months back

                            This is why it's so important to break the stigma around asexuality - maybe he felt conflicted at the time or even ashamed, and he couldn't say anything to his partner until it was "too late".

                          • zoe
                            zoe  3 months back

                            Not Today yup! and nothing wrong with either! you shouldn’t have to force yourself to be intimate/not be intimate for someone else’s happiness!

                          • zoe
                            zoe  3 months back

                            Voicu Violeta exactly!! lying about that and dropping a bomb that our intimacy is now over forever is not fair to me at all (not saying i’m in this situation but if i was i would feel so awful)

                          • Voicu Violeta
                            Voicu Violeta  3 months back

                            It was probably made worse for her b/c he told her after the marriage and after the "mandatory" kids...now she was thinking of the kids too, if they got along generally, was it ok for the kids to be separated from the father b/c she wanted a s*xual relationship? (which is what he wanted, to trap her, bastard move). Honestly, the deception, manipulation & letting me feel bad about myself, as long as he was getting what he wanted, would've been things I would not have been able to move past easily, if at all.

                          • Not Today
                            Not Today  3 months back

                            I agree, some people are fine with not being sexually active. While others need that type of affection in order to feel happy in a relationship.

                        • Fillia A
                          Fillia A  3 months back

                          6:55 lmao the dude should've just told her outright that he's an Ace. Glad things are working out for them tho

                          • CrazyCountry SouthernBelle

                            I never understand why women get married and then drop out or quit working. If you want to be a trophy wife then be upfront and honest about that. Don't trick a guy into it. It's messed up.

                            • Gaby Calvo
                              Gaby Calvo  3 months back

                              Neither me. If you depend financially of someone you are risking a lot. If he is an asshole or suddenly die, you get into trouble very easily. It's better to keep a work, even if it's a half time work.

                          • BunnyOfDeath !
                            BunnyOfDeath !  3 months back

                            It sounds like the guy who’s not into sex may be ace. Makes me happy that the relationship worked out!

                            • Sassy Satan
                              Sassy Satan  3 months back

                              Fiankay

                              • Autumn Rain
                                Autumn Rain  3 months back

                                Happened to my mom. My dad was so different when they were dating. She was miserable until she died. 😢

                                • Kimberly Skene
                                  Kimberly Skene  3 months back

                                  I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're okay

                              • KatzyKins
                                KatzyKins  3 months back

                                Oh <3 the asexual husband story is really cute <3
                                I'm glad they both worked at it <3 ;w;

                                • Jasmine Lav.
                                  Jasmine Lav.  3 months back

                                  That last story are the ones that scare me - the abuser who can hold it in until they slap a ring on it. The ones who fit in perfectly and are amazing partners, while secretly trying to trap you into marriage or having kids because it'll be harder to leave.

                                  • 100,000 subscribers without any videos

                                    Marriage is a waste of money and mental health.

                                    • Not Today
                                      Not Today  3 months back

                                      True, spending your life with someone is great but I don't think I would want to get officially married, I've seen way to many sticky divorces.

                                    • Reddit Girl
                                      Reddit Girl   3 months back

                                      Watch my last video, I will make you change your mind :)

                                  • bobekfpj
                                    bobekfpj  3 months back

                                    4:20 I facepalmed, dude, DUDE. People have zero self respect, "I wanted to see if my foot fit into it", yes, sure or maybe some dude was pulling it off after the deed and throw it into the trash, what is more likely?
                                    Even when he knew for a fact he was trying to get back together - some people really do it to themselves, if you dont have any respect for yourself, dont expect anyone else have it for you.

                                    • Stephanie Mitchell
                                      Stephanie Mitchell  3 months back

                                      8:37 Wanderuststricken, this is called covert incest. There is no actual sexual contact, but there is often sexual innuendo that makes the child uncomfortable, and a demand for a level of emotional intimacy that children aren't equipped to provide, and this does very serious damage to kids that grow up in that environment. Especially boys. They tend to become porn addicted, with deranged fetishes, have low opinions of women (which they hide, since they "love" their mother, so they must inherently respect women... they also think themselves superior to other "bad" men that would harm their mother, and they could never be like those dirty men... although they're much worse indeed). Most importantly, covert incest prevents kids from developing healthy intimate relationships as adults. Your children are not your substitute spouses, and if you demand that they care for your emotional needs, they have no chance to develop nor care for their own. No child should be privy to their parents sexual and/or emotional life. Take it to your friends or therapists. Unless, however, you're a psychopath that genuinely wants to destroy your child's capacity to have a healthy intimate relationship of their own someday. Then, by all means, f*ck them up with your clingy, sexually charged, needy b*llsh*t.

                                      • EvergreenJessie
                                        EvergreenJessie  3 months back

                                        If you are staying in a relationship (especially an abusive one) "for the kids", DON'T! It is not worth it and the kids know everything going on. I remember when I found out my parents were getting divorced.
                                        My older sis, brother and I were walking home from the bus stop when my sis said "oh, and by the way, mom and dad are getting divorced", without even thinking about it I said "finally"!


                                        Oh, and don't say you were willing to stay in an abusive relationship for the kids. They will think it is their fault that the abuse was happening!

                                        • honey bigshoe
                                          honey bigshoe  3 months back

                                          EvergreenJessie i was always glad my mom divorced my dad and have never liked the thought of them together (they divorced when i was 2) i could tell he was a mess and never wanted to live with him,i really don’t get why some people get upset abt it,but i do respect it,my brother was affected by it but now he definitely understands

                                      • Spencer Brown
                                        Spencer Brown  3 months back

                                        Should have checked the condom for semen.

                                        • Leelz247
                                          Leelz247  3 months back

                                          I had the same red flag in my most recent relationship as the story at 6:19. In my case however, I did break it off. We never had sex in a 15 month relationship and I'm not going to masturbate solo for the rest of my life. Not having kids made it easier to leave, but yeah, I felt guilty and shallow.

                                          • aye aye captain
                                            aye aye captain  3 months back

                                            Lmao id totally put my foot in the condom😂😂

                                            • J C
                                              J C  3 months back

                                              I hate military wives who always nag about being a military wife and especially that say “me and my husband served”

                                              • Anonymous Lee
                                                Anonymous Lee  3 months back

                                                3:16 I hope he got video evidence and got police involved. She should go to jail for that. If there was any justice, she would be sent to men's prison.

                                                • monica rodrigues
                                                  monica rodrigues  3 months back

                                                  Observe how his/her interactions with close family are. Especially in his/hers parents house, that is pretty much how, in time, they will interact with you when they become "king/queen of the castle".

                                                  • Hannah Snickers
                                                    Hannah Snickers  3 months back

                                                    @Sakura Ashita I agree completely. I'm not close with my parents at all, constant arguments, I never tell them anything, never want to be around them. Yet with my boyfriend I'm completely open and wanna be with him whenever I can. I go above and beyond for him. My parents were not great to me growing up... to spare the details lol

                                                  • MakeupLover
                                                    MakeupLover  3 months back

                                                    No matter how much I loved my ex he loved his toxic family more and even admitted to them being crazy but he always took their side over mine (even though he admitted I was right). It was a fucked up situation. But I’m glad I’m out :) dodged a huge bullet there :)

                                                  • Sakura Ashita
                                                    Sakura Ashita  3 months back

                                                    Not necessarily. I have pretty bad relationships with both parents but it's because both are controlling and at least one has known mental health issues and I think the other probably does too. Like I'm not saying I'm a saint, but there's a difference between being a generally shitty person and one who is unwilling to take abuse. A lot of people are in the latter position and it can be hard to tell if you aren't there all the time.

                                                • vk flynn
                                                  vk flynn  3 months back

                                                  For the lady who is married to the man who has no interest in sex, unfortunately there is no name on the post. My husband is exactly the same. He was into sex when we first met but it soon fizzled out after we were married. I asked him why this happened and he said that he loved me and knew that what what I wanted so he did it, but he really didn't have a great interest that. It caused a lot of arguments and unfortunately I did end up cheating and got found out. He forgave me and we worked through it. He has turned out to be the most wonderful man any woman could ask for. I know that when he wakes up in the morning, his first thought is, "how can I make her happy today?" His entire life is centred around giving me everything I want. We have now been married for 35 years and a funny thing has happened. About 6 years ago, I noticed that he was initiating more. It's now got to the stage where we are having sex probably 3 or 4 times a week. Not bad considerering there were times when we were having sex 3 or 4 times a year. But if something happened, and he went back to how he was, I wouldn't mind. He had given me the most wonderful life.

                                                  • vk flynn
                                                    vk flynn  3 months back

                                                    @Editorknowsbest many thanks

                                                  • Editorknowsbest
                                                    Editorknowsbest  3 months back

                                                    vk flynn That’s wonderful that things have come full circle for you two. I wish you both many more happy years together.

                                                • Alann Regino
                                                  Alann Regino  3 months back

                                                  Now I’m just going to these videos to write down these to just be safe

                                                  • toomuchtime
                                                    toomuchtime  3 months back

                                                    Mom in supper creepy

                                                    • Erika Wagner
                                                      Erika Wagner  3 months back

                                                      Haha the first story, he just wanted BAH fam. Fuckin boot

                                                      • TheUselessbuthappy
                                                        TheUselessbuthappy  3 months back

                                                        Tag chasers are the worse.

                                                        • kh22912
                                                          kh22912  3 months back

                                                          My boyfriend is not really that into sex but the thing is, he is fantastic in every other way.

                                                          • Autumn Rain
                                                            Autumn Rain  3 months back

                                                            kh22912 well, it could work if sex isn’t that important to you. Sex is not important to me so being fantastic in every other way sounds awesome to me.

                                                        • Out of The Hat
                                                          Out of The Hat  3 months back

                                                          Some people just don't want sex, and it only reflects poorly on your desirability if you're a jerk who tries to pressure then into sex anyway. Asexual people exist.

                                                          • No Name
                                                            No Name  3 months back

                                                            Kids, if you think your parents are staying married for you and it's a bad situation, say something. My mom stayed with my dad for way too long. At 12 years old, from the backseat of my Aunts car with my mom, we went cruising the bar parking lots looking for my mom's car. From the backseat I said, "hey mom, maybe it's time for a D-I-V-O-R-C-E." She filed that week I think. Some moms really just need to know the kids are on board with it. My mother has told me that she has met quite few other women who left at the suggestion of the kids.

                                                            • Whovianlord
                                                              Whovianlord  3 months back

                                                              Carley Deiss I’ve been telling my Mum for a few years that she should divorce my dad, but she refuses. She doesn’t think she has anywhere to go if she left (I’m sure friends would be more than willing to help out) and uses the family dogs as her excuse. I just randomly shout divorce at her now whenever she complains to me about dad. We’ve discussed it so many times, and she regrets not leaving earlier, but it seems she’d rather be miserable with him than alone without him. At least it’s a great example for a type of relationship I should avoid at all costs.

                                                            • Al
                                                              Al  3 months back

                                                              I did that, but my mom change her heart, and stay with my dad.

                                                            • No Name
                                                              No Name  3 months back

                                                              @Carley Deiss well you have tried, it doesn't always work.

                                                            • Carley Deiss
                                                              Carley Deiss  3 months back

                                                              I’ve been telling my mother for 10+ years that she needs to leave my step father but she won’t do it. She’s more terrified of being alone than of him, even at the expense of her kids

                                                          • Lhamo Fitzsimons
                                                            Lhamo Fitzsimons  3 months back

                                                            Asexuals watching this...
                                                            We feel his pain.

                                                            • The Eevenger
                                                              The Eevenger  3 months back

                                                              @AangelKataang I try to bring logical points and try to understand but you don't answer any questions or points. You just talk down to people, deny explanations and yet you talk about ignorance. YOU are one of those people who make it even worse for the small community of people with sexual orientation which differ from the majority. People grow tired of exactly this behavior: wanting sympathy but talking down on people. Tell me how do you think this will every be understood by society when people like you are just a jerk about it to people who try to understand. Just because I criticize your opinion doesn't mean I don't try to understand you. Quite the opposite: I call out logic flaws (which doesn't make sense to me) so I can understand the topic. You can't understand things which don't make sense for yourself. So, you can just shut down and hope for society to change while actively working against it and harming the public perception of those communities or you can actually take part in discussions about it and show the people why common perceptions are wrong or why normal logic can't be applied. Like I said, I'm still waiting for any answer to my questions / points. Instead you talk down to people calling them ignorant. You should reflect on your own actions and think about who is acting ignorant here.

                                                            • Voicu Violeta
                                                              Voicu Violeta  3 months back

                                                              @AangelKataang Hiding, lying, manipulating is WRONG!...you don't love and respect a person and have faith in a relationship that is supposed to be for life if you do those things to them, no matter what you are hiding & lying about if it affects their life in a major way...it can be no s*x drive, disease, debt, major kink etc lying is lying...you need to tell your supposed loved one these major things about yourself before tying them to yourself for life and maybe even bringing innocent kids into a possible messy situation.

                                                              I, myself, wouldn't even care about the s*x part in a situation like this, I'd be fixating on the hiding & lying, the manipulation, the not caring about me (and the kids) and not respecting me enough to tell me smth. that affects my entire life...it would destroy anything I felt for that person.

                                                              There are ppl out there that have low s*x drive or that don't feel s*x is an important part of a marriage and are looking more for a best friend or ppl that thought this was important, but faced w/ the decision of leaving a person they love b/c of it, they change their mind or are willing to compromise in some way...the way you say as*xuals would have s*x for their partners b/c they are in love, there could be partners that would forgo s*x or have it very sparingly or willing to discuss some kind of another arrangement b/c they are in love...but they need to be given a choice when it's the rest of their lives in question.

                                                            • Lhamo Fitzsimons
                                                              Lhamo Fitzsimons  3 months back

                                                              @AangelKataang Thank you for being so intelligent and having the effort to type that. Ace are so misunderstood and it's actually upsetting

                                                            • AangelKataang
                                                              AangelKataang  3 months back

                                                              The Eevenger Like I said, you just don’t get it. You’re blessed because you’re ignorant. I don’t expect you to understand. And to be honest I don’t see the point in having a YouTube argument with you because it’s just time consuming. But I wish you the best and I’m happy for you!

                                                            • The Eevenger
                                                              The Eevenger  3 months back

                                                              ​@AangelKataang To whom do you answer? It seems like you cherry picking some points from all the answers you got. Life is never easy (for most people). Many people have different hardships yet you pretend there is absolutely no possible positive outcome for this specific scenario. You don't chose who you fall in love with, true. But you can search for the people you prefer (so you get a perfect match) or you talk to a possible non-asexual partner if he/she is okay with it and what that means for the future. If he/she is okay with it than all is good if not he/she wasn't the right for you. Problem solved. It no different than looking for partners based on other criteria. But lying about it is selfish. It seems like you didn't get this point: I judge the people who lie because a relationship build on lies is destined to fail and there is a solution (as I outlined above), so please don't say it hard and therefore can't be done.

                                                          • VanityDivined
                                                            VanityDivined  3 months back

                                                            7:14 transition. You da best

                                                            • Irishdragon 100
                                                              Irishdragon 100  3 months back

                                                              Number 342 to like and number 41 to comment

                                                              • Tim Parker
                                                                Tim Parker  3 months back

                                                                THATS FUCKING INCREDIBLE BRO 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯😍

                                                            • Jess Ess
                                                              Jess Ess  3 months back

                                                              My partner and I have been together for 3 and a half years. We lived together for 6 months and recently moved back into our own parents home.
                                                              We are now engaged and looking st buying s house together 😊
                                                              We lived together to find out things we didn’t know until we lived together. Now we know it all & are getting married 🥰

                                                              • Tester Wulf :3
                                                                Tester Wulf :3  3 months back

                                                                That one person seriously needs to sit him down and explain how creepy is for his mother to want to see him naked, flirt with him, and be over all clingy and a jealous mess.

                                                                • MakeupLover
                                                                  MakeupLover  3 months back

                                                                  I dodged a bullet with my ex!

                                                                • Tester Wulf :3
                                                                  Tester Wulf :3  3 months back

                                                                  @acidicvapor` That is indeed true as well!

                                                                • acidicvapor`
                                                                  acidicvapor`  3 months back

                                                                  That woman needs a restraining order, she's not his mother, she's a predator that's been grooming him.

                                                                • Evermore Online
                                                                  Evermore Online  3 months back

                                                                  Wait......WAHT

                                                                • Tester Wulf :3
                                                                  Tester Wulf :3  3 months back

                                                                  @cat I think it's just straight up incest

                                                              • Stephanie Long Clark
                                                                Stephanie Long Clark  3 months back

                                                                Yep! I took a nap, woke up to soooo many missed calls and texts accusing me of cheating because he got jealous that a male friend from high school commented on a FB post, where he got into a huge verbal fight with same friend via messenger. We ended up getting back together, got married, had a child, have now been separated for 8 years because he refuses to sign the papers after having many MANY false police charges filed against me and having the living shit beaten out of me on multiple occasions. So now I need to save to hire a new attorney to file a contested divorce that he can't fight.

                                                                • Eureka Mreum
                                                                  Eureka Mreum  3 months back

                                                                  Please be safe!

                                                                • Lucy Kaede
                                                                  Lucy Kaede  3 months back

                                                                  Can't believe he did all those to you. Stay strong and goodluck.

                                                              • ShaeƧΉΛΣѕнαє Annalese

                                                                Lifehack: Don't get married. Allimonies are expensive.

                                                                • Tsunami Garcia
                                                                  Tsunami Garcia  3 months back

                                                                  Im so sad that the media doesnt normalize asexuality, because clearly (at least in my interpretation of it), that was one of the cases in this video. Asexual people deserve love and a fully functional and healthy relationship. It isn't always about sex, and the construct of sex being mandatory in a relationship is so wrong and sad that it leaves people with the feeling of not being enough for somebody and being broken. This system is broken, so we should help fix it

                                                                  • Lee Art
                                                                    Lee Art  3 months back

                                                                    Imphie currently reading a comic at 1 am because I’m a night owl. But also pretty tired because I volunteered at the local art center and worked with little kids for 6 hours.

                                                                  • Imphie
                                                                    Imphie  3 months back

                                                                    @Lee Art Oh I'm well. Just listening to these videos and creapypasta videos at work. Almost ready to leave though so there's that good bit.

                                                                    You?

                                                                  • Lee Art
                                                                    Lee Art  3 months back

                                                                    Imphie it’s very sad.

                                                                    To keep things on a lighter note, how is your day/night? (Just trying to keep things on a positive note, I don’t like leaving things on a negative note)

                                                                  • Imphie
                                                                    Imphie  3 months back

                                                                    @Lee Art yes absolutely, I think that's something we can both agree on very much.

                                                                  • Lee Art
                                                                    Lee Art  3 months back

                                                                    Eimyrja Ukkonen

                                                                    Boi. How is not wanting sex a red flag?
                                                                    There are aces who like sex, there are some who are eh, and there are some, like me, who are sex repulsed.

                                                                    Red flags mean people who are more or less dangerous

                                                                • plixie1
                                                                  plixie1  3 months back

                                                                  I heard this from a blind and deaf wise man, he called me over and said I notice you are going from jewelry to jewelry store in the mall, i said yes i got a special lady. He told me thats great, but "if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you"