How To Communicate With Men

  • Published: 04 November 2014
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    In this video you'll learn the one key to communicate your needs with your man in the most effective way.
    Please post a comment on this video... I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic!
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    Mat Boggs Bio:
    As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
    As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs’ dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
    Mat’s Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
    As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
    Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups from 20yrs old to over 70yrs old.
    If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here:

    Related Topics:
    Dating Advice For Women
    Relationship Advice For Women
    Relationship Coach For Women
    Dating Coach For Women
    Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.

Comments • 337

  • Flibgonrt Sheglis
    Flibgonrt Sheglis  Dzień temu

    Come on guys. You don't realize that her asking if you want to meet her means she wants you to meet her?? Really??? Do you think she asked because she is hoping you'll say no? I would rather the guy just be honest with me. Why ruin everyone's fun. I wouldn't want to drive 25 miles to a dumb company party if I were out with friends.

    • yogiessex london
      yogiessex london  13 dni temu

      Why does a man tell me his entire life story but ask nothing about me?!

      • Fatana Olomi
        Fatana Olomi  Miesiąc temu

        i love this.

        • Neeeno Aljameelah
          Neeeno Aljameelah  Miesiąc temu

          This is true thank you mat👍🏼

          • Rebekah Collins
            Rebekah Collins  Miesiąc temu

            This only works with high value men. I am finally dating a man that just wants me to be happy. He loves when I’m direct and open with exactly what I want.

            • Mayra Schilling
              Mayra Schilling  Miesiąc temu

              I’m the one that’s direct and my partner talks in riddles. Then gets upset with me because I can’t solve the riddle. My direct communication puts pressure on him. I’m lost with this communication issue!!

              • Steve Zali
                Steve Zali  Miesiąc temu

                I got help with my relationship with those guys: It changed my life.

                • kelesha hammond
                  kelesha hammond  Miesiąc temu

                  I really hate demanding my BF to do things cause I don't know how he feels. Me I really need his opinions so I know he's happy and comfortable with whatever we are doing at the moment

                  • Ophelia AF
                    Ophelia AF  2 miesięcy temu

                    This tip dies not apply to my ex-husband. When my, not his, child died suddenly, he announced he wanted a divorce 7 weeks later. His next girlfriend? Had kids needing to be raised. I realized then that I was a “type”. Huh, very, very valuable lesson.

                    • Farah Diba
                      Farah Diba  2 miesięcy temu

                      I plan closed our comunication with him side I finished my Project. It's true or not?

                      • honeybeerose33
                        honeybeerose33  2 miesięcy temu

                        I asks because l actually want to know what the person I care about honestly wants to do. That can influence what we do next. It helps me understand what the guy is into genuinely. I hate game playing and assumptions as to what I mean when I say something. Honesty leads to more intimacy and less resentment. Just be real. Ask questions. Don’t assume. Be yourself. I want the person who comes to the party with me to actually want to be there. I can have a good time on my own and we can always meet up later for things we both enjoy. Not every woman is the same.

                        • Rachel510126
                          Rachel510126  4 miesięcy temu

                          Love this guy!

                          • yafet girma
                            yafet girma  4 miesięcy temu

                            This works better

                            • The Dude
                              The Dude  4 miesięcy temu

                              Ya I'm still taking the beer over any of those secondary questions.

                              • Laura Rawlins
                                Laura Rawlins  4 miesięcy temu

                                I don’t take the initiative in communicating with people, especially with men in particular, I get very shy when it comes to communication and I don’t fully understand that about myself. How do I find out why that is? And how can I improve my communication skills?

                                • G Sadat
                                  G Sadat  4 miesięcy temu

                                  Honest!!! Did you just day men are honest?!!! Me. Mathew with all do respect to all the valuable knowledge you're sharing... but your own personality trait in honesty does not at all apply to most men. Beating around the bush and not wanting or knowing how to be direct is the common practice amongst most all people especially men.

                                  • E.t.A A.
                                    E.t.A A.  4 miesięcy temu

                                    I agree with what Sarah said in the comments. Both of us men and women have to help each other. For we are *both* fallen creatures with impurities. And so it is the responsibility of *both* of us to give into the relationship and not merely receive. If anything, we *both* are to blame for, but where will the two of you get to by doing so? Don't you get it? We come together to rid each other of our imperfections, growing together, uplifting each other as mere human beings. Her food is in your hand, and his food is your hand (let the reader understand.) So, how will the two of you be fed if one is only focused on being fed from the hand in which his or her food resides? We, in essence, *both* have our parts to play. For love is not self-seeking.

                                    • Sares Wari
                                      Sares Wari  4 miesięcy temu

                                      Thanks! I tried it with my partner hopefully we can communicate better :)

                                      • Irene Kim Kim
                                        Irene Kim Kim  5 miesięcy temu

                                        I never have a problem being direct. I have seen men become indirect with me. Which is quite interesting how direct some women can actually can be. When I told potential men in my life how my life is like they don't think they will get overwhelmed by my direct approach with me. They will find ways to beat around the bush or try to get my guard down. When really I am not all for that. I tell them why I can't do something being a single mom my priority is a bit different I can't always do spontaneous things like I used to. I have responsibility I need to deal with. Some guys think I am just messing with them or blowing them off for a reason when really I have other priorities. I don't mind scheduling a time to meet up in advance but other than that I can't just ditch stuff just to go out. It doesn't work with me. You want to hang out we can make a plan and stick to it or don't bother me at all.

                                        • Anna Int.
                                          Anna Int.  5 miesięcy temu

                                          This example of women are not being direct can be used to describe how men communicate and indirect. Men, just like women ask: "would you want to...", and it's a rarest occasion when men use: "I want you to do this and that", because its sounds rude, and could be ok when couple in a longer relationship or marriage. In fact women use: "I want you to do this and that" direct approach way more often than men.

                                          • Anna Int.
                                            Anna Int.  5 miesięcy temu

                                            Women do know what they want, and it's way easier to understand than what men want. I'm getting sick of this myth. Theres nothing easier than making a woman smile or getting her what she wants.

                                            • Jason Taylor
                                              Jason Taylor  5 miesięcy temu

                                              cuz bitches are not productive. bitches talk details abt itrelevant shit but want a stable rich guy. how the fuck am i suppose to be rich if i gotta listen to a bitch talk about how the mall was crowded. bitch we got black people getting shot n u wanna talk abt what u ate? how will u bitches be us president? u think putin will want to hear abt ur day as president?

                                              • rizza mae ong
                                                rizza mae ong  5 miesięcy temu

                                                thank you. i will keep this tip in mind. Men are so easy to decode. hehe..

                                                • CDGMR1
                                                  CDGMR1  6 miesięcy temu


                                                  • Christina J
                                                    Christina J  7 miesięcy temu

                                                    I used this and it worked like a charm!!

                                                    • Christine Frank
                                                      Christine Frank  7 miesięcy temu

                                                      My problem is I tell men as directly as possible and am as authentic as possible, but most of the guys I’ve dated have read more into my statements, jokes, etc. They just don’t believe that a woman could possibly be straightforward.

                                                      • K E L K A Y
                                                        K E L K A Y  7 miesięcy temu

                                                        🤣 that joke is awesome!

                                                        • magnu ya
                                                          magnu ya  8 miesięcy temu

                                                          When a man communicates with his lover always hiding in the back, even he has never appeared to her. But he always does five parts like you said in your speech for her. Everyday he does differently to make her happy. Even when he is very busy, he still put her in the first. He did a lot for her makes her feels like she is in the top of the world. And he did his best to use more different ways to connect her. Trying to invited her a few times. Even tried to invest her for a resbnserbrity. Sure he loves her very much. He made her loves him deeply indeed. But she didn't follow him, because she likes to see him opening himself brightly. She always hopes he will have a totally opening way to meet each other, or face to face or texting messages to each other. Nope. He wants her go with him and married with him. But she doesn't know where to go. She did a lot to him too. Nothing is wrong with love. Why he puts himself in the background. Is the sounds of silence? She likes to have a right answer. This book helps her more to know about men and love. Feeling more inspired. Thanks very much.

                                                          • nunya bisnass
                                                            nunya bisnass  8 miesięcy temu

                                                            Men and women want the same things. The great scandel is that neither of them has figured that out.

                                                            • Jheyanneify
                                                              Jheyanneify  8 miesięcy temu

                                                              Well said 👍

                                                              • Jheyanneify
                                                                Jheyanneify  8 miesięcy temu

                                                                U have the prettiest eyes 😍😍

                                                                • trafficiskey
                                                                  trafficiskey  9 miesięcy temu

                                                                  Thank you!! Mathew!!

                                                                  • maria mistretta
                                                                    maria mistretta  9 miesięcy temu

                                                                    I agree be direct with guys even though sometimes it not easy to be direct with some guys because guys are not easy to talk to either. I guess it depend even on the guy. Like if you still getting to know a person from the different of nothing someone for a long time. Start with I really love if you would or will.......

                                                                    • Igai Gontudu
                                                                      Igai Gontudu  5 miesięcy temu


                                                                      • Melea Wilson
                                                                        Melea Wilson  9 miesięcy temu

                                                                        We've been dating for 3 months, how do I find out exactly what his intentions are?

                                                                        • Wombat Girl
                                                                          Wombat Girl  10 miesięcy temu

                                                                          I am very direct with my man. I tell him exactly what I want & need. Great video 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

                                                                          • Rancho La Abundancia
                                                                            Rancho La Abundancia  10 miesięcy temu

                                                                            Hahaha 🤘🤘🤘 truth!!!!

                                                                            • Colleen Keating
                                                                              Colleen Keating  10 miesięcy temu

                                                                              I want to know what you are supposed to do when you are direct and you still don't get waht you need

                                                                              • VA2018
                                                                                VA2018  10 miesięcy temu

                                                                                Problem is that men are neither honest nor direct...they make up some random stuff. Never answering on a direct question.

                                                                                • Riri Airi
                                                                                  Riri Airi  10 miesięcy temu

                                                                                  Why wouldn’t he just ask the genie to get rid of his fear of flying? 🤔

                                                                                  • Evelyn Njoki
                                                                                    Evelyn Njoki  11 miesięcy temu

                                                                                    Pls go direct to the points no need of giving examples

                                                                                    • Andrea Vasquez
                                                                                      Andrea Vasquez  11 miesięcy temu

                                                                                      But doesn't have any motivation to surprise you or have an idea of wanting to meet you without you telling him?

                                                                                      • sf win
                                                                                        sf win  11 miesięcy temu

                                                                                        The best joke ever how many lanes you want

                                                                                        • Lepatriinu Triin
                                                                                          Lepatriinu Triin  Rok temu

                                                                                          well , i am allways telling like that to my boyfriend. Hes still dosent offer me happiness. If I am out with girls and i like that he will pick me up and drive home. I call him and say, Hey love, please come and pick me up and drive home. He allways say, no, u can take taxy. So,,,

                                                                                          • nofy bn
                                                                                            nofy bn  6 miesięcy temu

                                                                                            I hope you dumped him.

                                                                                            • Barbara Cupp
                                                                                              Barbara Cupp  Rok temu

                                                                                              Thank you

                                                                                              • Shandra Covington
                                                                                                Shandra Covington  Rok temu

                                                                                                STEELER NATION!!! WHOOP WHOOP!! LOL!!

                                                                                                • elena neens
                                                                                                  elena neens  Rok temu

                                                                                                  It might be true.. But it sounds wierd !! I would love it for you to come with me to ...blahhhhhhh blah blah

                                                                                                  • Adis Candra — Sharing Life Lessons

                                                                                                    i've been learning about male psychology in romantic relationship for far too long i think i'm emotionally a male now.

                                                                                                    • Erum Saleem Saeed
                                                                                                      Erum Saleem Saeed  Rok temu

                                                                                                      Very nice

                                                                                                      • Paula Batari
                                                                                                        Paula Batari  Rok temu

                                                                                                        Just finished watching your video. My concern is I would not want my boyfriend to feel abligated to do something for me. I rather him just be honest. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

                                                                                                        • Paula Batari
                                                                                                          Paula Batari  Rok temu

                                                                                                          I really enjoyed your video. But the only thing I am wondering is iIf my boyfriend were to say he wants to do something for me. I would feel like he is ablgated to do it

                                                                                                          • Icy Ice
                                                                                                            Icy Ice  Rok temu


                                                                                                            • Lady Neek
                                                                                                              Lady Neek  Rok temu

                                                                                                              Very informative, but all women do not communicate this way. lol.. My mom does and I hate it.

                                                                                                              • Live your Values
                                                                                                                Live your Values  Rok temu

                                                                                                                Its not that hard folks

                                                                                                                • Victoria Baxter-Caballero

                                                                                                                  And about the men who hear a direct question, but do not give a direct answer... The ones who avoid directly answering at all, and get angry when you directly ask for clarification of their wishy-washy answer?

                                                                                                                  • Victoria Baxter-Caballero

                                                                                                                    Or what about this same guy finally giving a direct answer, but doing the opposite? Ain't nobody got time for that! LOL

                                                                                                                    • Elle Bee
                                                                                                                      Elle Bee  Rok temu

                                                                                                                      This works both ways.

                                                                                                                      • Konka Chi
                                                                                                                        Konka Chi  Rok temu

                                                                                                                        What if the woman has different language with the man, and it can be a struggle sometimes. Of course this is not the point of the video, but I think if you know your wife/husband/partner enough, there won't really be any uncomfortable feelings when talking to each other. They would just answer honestly and in a straightforward manner but in a respectable/loving way. Thanks for the video tho! It shows that you and your wife are clearly intelligent people. I wish all the best for all the couples out there! :)

                                                                                                                        • Suhasni Singgaravelu

                                                                                                                          What if the guy plays mind games with you and he doesn't direct communicate ?

                                                                                                                          • Jackie Genever
                                                                                                                            Jackie Genever  Rok temu

                                                                                                                            Men work it out ...we want to be told we look good ,we want honesty ,and u to be genuine being urself ...and a man who wants to help do some chores help with the kids ...not to have agendas to go out ...speak frankly and honestly 😃#notrocketscience

                                                                                                                            • Cecelia Fett
                                                                                                                              Cecelia Fett  Rok temu

                                                                                                                              Just wanted to thank u for ur texting to make a long distance relationship to miss you he did

                                                                                                                              • Lisa Harris
                                                                                                                                Lisa Harris  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                What dose it mean when the your just started going out with starts calling u hun,baby, love, beautiful.?

                                                                                                                                • Meg Schültze
                                                                                                                                  Meg Schültze  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                  We tell men what we want, they just don't want to do it. Like make sure we get an orgasm too, like not cheat, like help with the house and kids, cause we help with the bills, like enjoy us and invest in our friendship. Only narcissists are impossible to please, decent women are reasonably easy to please. Men just don't want to have to do it.

                                                                                                                                  • Edda Justice
                                                                                                                                    Edda Justice  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                    Thanks for another inspirational video

                                                                                                                                    • Shannon Melidonis
                                                                                                                                      Shannon Melidonis  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                      I'm sick of being told how to communicate with men. How about men learn to communicate with women.

                                                                                                                                      • Sandlewood
                                                                                                                                        Sandlewood  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                        Thank you! This is helpful 😀

                                                                                                                                        • The government
                                                                                                                                          The government  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                          Easy , dont play mind games. And dont go call men creeps. Re-evaluate WHERE you meet the men

                                                                                                                                          • nofy bn
                                                                                                                                            nofy bn  6 miesięcy temu

                                                                                                                                            It has NOTHING to do with WHERE, IT IS THE MEN! Women play mind games because he does! She has to keep up!

                                                                                                                                            • PrincessaJasmine HajerahDegia

                                                                                                                                              Not always the case.. as the roles can switch up being.. i find myself being direct & the significant other the being indirect..

                                                                                                                                              • Jadorecoco Beauty
                                                                                                                                                Jadorecoco Beauty  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                Great advice... i guess sometimes we do assume you guys know what we mean

                                                                                                                                                • Ritah Nakiswa
                                                                                                                                                  Ritah Nakiswa  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                  I love the way you explain,its stops when i still want to watch and listen to it

                                                                                                                                                  • Jeniece Finney
                                                                                                                                                    Jeniece Finney  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                    What if you’re told you’re too direct

                                                                                                                                                    • Irene
                                                                                                                                                      Irene  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                      When I ask my man "Would you like to go to my friend's party?" it's a genuine question. If he doesn't that's fine. If he asked me to do something I didn't want to do I'd say no and he wouldn't be upset, so why should I? If something needs done I'll say "This needs done, when can you do it?" and usually offer to help if I can. Life is so much easier when we co-operate rather than fighting a war of the gender stereotypes that no-one will win.

                                                                                                                                                      • Beverly Dickerson
                                                                                                                                                        Beverly Dickerson  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                        him better spending quality time. Traveling,cooking for him, we become one down theline whenever he wants.l'll be in his life. Forever!

                                                                                                                                                        • Miki Vicki
                                                                                                                                                          Miki Vicki  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                          True. We are always indirect. Then we say . Men are dumb, when they don't get it...But we don't ask truthfully.

                                                                                                                                                          • Nella Ab
                                                                                                                                                            Nella Ab  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                            I don’t believe that. In fact men don’t know what they want not women. Men are so complex. You would never know what they are up to and what they want.

                                                                                                                                                            • nofy bn
                                                                                                                                                              nofy bn  6 miesięcy temu

                                                                                                                                                              So SO true.

                                                                                                                                                              • Stefanie Z
                                                                                                                                                                Stefanie Z  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                                I said “ I have a wish we could go for hiking sometime”

                                                                                                                                                                • Laria1966
                                                                                                                                                                  Laria1966  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                                  Good Advice ☺

                                                                                                                                                                  • september luketz
                                                                                                                                                                    september luketz  Rok temu

                                                                                                                                                                    I think it's safe to say most women want a man to be honest, forthright, funny, independent but also doting. To help provide his woman's needs, to love, honor, and cherish her for better for worse, sickness, and health, life so they only part when they need space, time alone, or some quality guy time. I'm pretty sure most women want a man that stands beside her, stands up for her, and fights for her as well. Women like to be courted, go on first dates even when they've been in a long term, long standing relationship as well. Women love surprises, to be spoiled from time to time, shown off but not paraded around, introduced to the friends and family of their significant other, and sexy, flirtatious games, but not head games.

                                                                                                                                                                    • nofy bn
                                                                                                                                                                      nofy bn  6 miesięcy temu