The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

  • Published: 07 February 2014
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    Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy.
    In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)"
    About TEDx, x = independently organized event
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 7 923

  • Tracy Clingings
    Tracy Clingings  4 сағат бұрын

    Loved this! God Bless you and keep loving yourself! 🤗

    • Benny Lowery
      Benny Lowery  17 сағат бұрын

      Why would one take life advice from a failure? In another ten years she will fail again and have another theory. She is 100% wrong.

      • Technikus Mezőgazdasági
        Technikus Mezőgazdasági  20 сағат бұрын

        See : Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All

        • Karriem Williams
          Karriem Williams  Күн бұрын

          Very good madam.

          • Xavier Schlueter
            Xavier Schlueter  Күн бұрын

            Is everyone gonna ignore the fact this woman ruined like 4 people’s lives, but it’s all ok because she loves herself now?

            • Robert Salisbury
              Robert Salisbury  Күн бұрын

              watch at 1.25 speed

              • Myhandgift Myhandgift
                Myhandgift Myhandgift  Күн бұрын


                • Ralph Ramirez
                  Ralph Ramirez  2 күн бұрын

                  MGTOW text book

                  • Tylenna
                    Tylenna  2 күн бұрын

                    She's gorgeous, even her laugh is attractive. No wonder (at least) 3 men wanted to marry her.

                    • Irionne EYE REE YON *
                      Irionne EYE REE YON *  2 күн бұрын

                      Yesssss beautiful😢👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💝

                      • Esel
                        Esel  2 күн бұрын

                        I love her omg

                        • DarthMessias
                          DarthMessias  2 күн бұрын

                          Narcissism is good!

                          • Jack Sparrow
                            Jack Sparrow  3 күн бұрын

                            There is no "i" or "me" in the word "Love". Love is selfless... If you are self-centred you will NOT experience love. Questions you have to answer to self is am I self-centred and is the person I am seeing self-centred?

                            • Weaseltube
                              Weaseltube  3 күн бұрын

                              Love yourself first, but love yourself least.

                              • Ash Swereda
                                Ash Swereda  3 күн бұрын


                                • Utp Ach
                                  Utp Ach  3 күн бұрын

                                  Beautiful vows

                                  • Manuel Calderon
                                    Manuel Calderon  3 күн бұрын

                                    Why you left your first two marriages

                                    • Keona girl
                                      Keona girl  3 күн бұрын

                                      Nice ways of teaching people!

                                      • AnimusFlux
                                        AnimusFlux  3 күн бұрын

                                        Self love will transform your life in ways you never thought. You will make better choices, feel less guilt for sayin g"NO" to things you don't want to do and not be in such a hurry to be in a relationship or invite unsuitable friends and/or sitiuations into your life. It takes time, though, and patience is not something that many of us have when it comes to changing ourselves and our lives.

                                        • G Trent
                                          G Trent  3 күн бұрын

                                          What a CROCK!!! I really hope NOBODY takes her advice. This woman will never have a successful marriage. She is seriously damaged.

                                          • Rosita A. Huff
                                            Rosita A. Huff  4 күн бұрын

                                            ....I did exactly that after my first divorce happy eversince.....

                                            • wally mason
                                              wally mason  23 сағат бұрын

                                              Why on earth did you get married for in the first place? Unless if it is for infidelity there should be no divorce at all.

                                              • 纽扣 行走的
                                                纽扣 行走的  4 күн бұрын

                                                in the bottom of ocean or on the top of the mountain. I say I will never leave you. she is so beautiful

                                                • James
                                                  James  5 күн бұрын

                                                  Utterly ridiculous concept.

                                                  • Roberto Insingo
                                                    Roberto Insingo  5 күн бұрын

                                                    I don't need to get married

                                                    • Malik Moore
                                                      Malik Moore  5 күн бұрын

                                                      Heartbreaking story of her beginnings..

                                                      • Osborn C
                                                        Osborn C  5 күн бұрын

                                                        Bahahahaha she marries herself because she's past her expiration date for anyone else, and self-centeredness is what she has really always wanted, good luck dying alone without ever having any real connections.

                                                        • lili yo
                                                          lili yo  5 күн бұрын

                                                          Thank you ..I love you 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤❤

                                                          • msmoorad123
                                                            msmoorad123  6 күн бұрын

                                                            Her talk is just trying to mask her own insecurities

                                                            • valo_cs
                                                              valo_cs  4 күн бұрын

                                                              msmoorad123 what makes you say that? Curious.

                                                              • Tropin
                                                                Tropin  6 күн бұрын

                                                                so her advice qas to marry yourself? wtf is wrong with this woman, I know now why she has been divorced so manyvtimes

                                                                • Nicole Cole
                                                                  Nicole Cole  6 күн бұрын

                                                                  really beautiful! Not only she is beautiful outside and inside but also so funny and pleasant to listen!

                                                                  • Sarah Kamille Amininejad Teilbrand
                                                                    Sarah Kamille Amininejad Teilbrand  6 күн бұрын

                                                                    even when she's trying to sound positive about former relationships, it's like her main goal in order to make her past a success, is still finding "mister right". Why not work on yourself to make your past a success you can use and maybe you will be awesome with someone, maybe you will be awesome by yourself.

                                                                    • Pat Riarchy
                                                                      Pat Riarchy  7 күн бұрын

                                                                      This female is an EXCELLENT example of why men should never marry. She has ruined the lives of many men because men let her do it. Don't ever get married or live with a female. The only thing a female can offer a man is a 75% chance she will ruin his life and she is proof positive.

                                                                      • mightycirus
                                                                        mightycirus  7 күн бұрын

                                                                        So she just wants be free She wants to be in the market always She’s never satisfied

                                                                        • Kalina Vasileva
                                                                          Kalina Vasileva  7 күн бұрын

                                                                          I am not sure why she talks about some kind of comfort that she did on herself, when she was the one who left her 2 husbands and well the third one screwed up, but still... she's not saying what her real struggle was... so I'm confused

                                                                          • ivan peter
                                                                            ivan peter  7 күн бұрын

                                                                            What about arranged marriage.

                                                                            • Amethyst Midnight
                                                                              Amethyst Midnight  8 күн бұрын

                                                                              That laugh at the end 😭💚

                                                                              • Lasheema Monroe
                                                                                Lasheema Monroe  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                Powerful and Beautiful ❤

                                                                                • Cara Freeman
                                                                                  Cara Freeman  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                  What a beautiful light to come from such a dark beginning. l love that she never stopped taking a chance on love but embraces herself as a true soul mate, that is really a testament to becoming better rather than bitter. This was so relatable and she is so powerfully vulnerable, brought tears to my eyes.

                                                                                  • 1ira 1ira
                                                                                    1ira 1ira  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                    Ну, как говорится, если хочешь чтобы что-то получилось хорошо, сделай это самостоятельно =)

                                                                                    • La liberté d'être Soi
                                                                                      La liberté d'être Soi  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                      You made me cry... Do I want to marry me ? YES 💍 Un grand merci 🙏

                                                                                      • Amol Sonawane
                                                                                        Amol Sonawane  4 күн бұрын

                                                                                        La liberté d'être Soi 😂👍

                                                                                        • Sammie
                                                                                          Sammie  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                          I learned this myself within the past year and it’s changed my life. Love yourself first! ❤️

                                                                                          • 반지간단한
                                                                                            반지간단한  8 күн бұрын

                                                                                            I also had several bad relationships. At first, I was in denial that I was, the problem. And later, I pondered on and finally accepted that those endings also had to do with me. And the matter was, I didn't know how to accept myself, my flaws and so on. At this moment, I'm single and working on my self love first before I enter annew relationship again. 🙂 Thank you to this wonderful speech. ❤️

                                                                                            • AnAmericanMan
                                                                                              AnAmericanMan  9 күн бұрын

                                                                                              Meeting a woman with the most profound abandonment issues of anyone I had ever met led me to understand that I too had very deep abandonment issues, afterall, how can you have abandonment issues when you had a mother and father? Understanding this finally got me on the path to healing. And finding the NPD healing community on KZclip literally saved my mental health, and my life.

                                                                                              • etiamnum
                                                                                                etiamnum  9 күн бұрын

                                                                                                • cheyenne chafton
                                                                                                  cheyenne chafton  9 күн бұрын

                                                                                                  I love her

                                                                                                  • Ruchika Sharma
                                                                                                    Ruchika Sharma  9 күн бұрын

                                                                                                    Wow! She looks like she's in her 30s. Unbelievable. I guess loving yourself makes you look younger too.

                                                                                                    • Keng Lee
                                                                                                      Keng Lee  9 күн бұрын

                                                                                                      Its dead, all of it.

                                                                                                      • David Hill
                                                                                                        David Hill  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                        thought experiment: replace this woman with a man, same resume. Do you still think you would feel positively about the message shared? If the answer is no, you're a sexist. :O This woman has no business being paid to speak on how to make relationships work. She's terrible at it.

                                                                                                        • Just Me
                                                                                                          Just Me  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                          After I watched this and seriously thought about it, I realized that a some of what I have done in my life to hurt others and neglecting myself has made me very sad. I have a hard time completely accepting a person like that if I was outside looking in. I don't know how to accept all of me.

                                                                                                          • ashvienis
                                                                                                            ashvienis  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                            It is funny how she still tries explain that it is the man`s problem whilst 3 times divorced (she said 'the right person').

                                                                                                            • Victoria Akomolede
                                                                                                              Victoria Akomolede  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                              The person you really need to marry is Yourself.

                                                                                                              • Rlynn Marchan
                                                                                                                Rlynn Marchan  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                Almost cried too. Still makes sense in 2019, five years after this was posted.

                                                                                                                • momsbasementnerd4ever
                                                                                                                  momsbasementnerd4ever  11 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                  damn shes 40 hot

                                                                                                                  • Ahmed A
                                                                                                                    Ahmed A  12 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                    Thanks to her.. As soon as I watched the video.. I knew who I should marry.. Her 😂😂

                                                                                                                    • juckimal
                                                                                                                      juckimal  13 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                      I think if you have been married 3 times you should not have any advice!

                                                                                                                      • Usmonbek Mardonakulov
                                                                                                                        Usmonbek Mardonakulov  14 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                        Treat yourself like someone you love ♥️🖤

                                                                                                                        • Ashley Johnson
                                                                                                                          Ashley Johnson  14 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                          Sheesh that was so beautiful

                                                                                                                          • Jehu Benhanani
                                                                                                                            Jehu Benhanani  14 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                            You need to marry Jesus (spiritually)' not yourself.

                                                                                                                            • Kalyan G
                                                                                                                              Kalyan G  11 күн бұрын


                                                                                                                              • Faith Akpan
                                                                                                                                Faith Akpan  15 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                Wonderful talk... She's beautiful too... you don't look like what you've been through and that conveys the message even more. I'm so inspired!

                                                                                                                                • Shani Gets Fly Travel & Lifestyle Blog

                                                                                                                                  Wow very powerful and extremely relatable.

                                                                                                                                  • John S Prince
                                                                                                                                    John S Prince  16 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                    How many times have we seen this scenario? Three ex hubbies, stays with them a few years then takes them for half of everything . Typical shallow self centered simple minded Gold digger.

                                                                                                                                    • M Burks
                                                                                                                                      M Burks  18 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                      When people say "just do you, just be yourself, just work on yourself" they make it sound like you have to pause your life and distance yourself from others to accomplish that. In reality, you _never_ stop working on yourself. Even when you're unaware of it, you are always changing as a person. You're _always_ "working on yourself." There won't be a time in your life that you *_wont_* be working on yourself.

                                                                                                                                      • روان الغيث
                                                                                                                                        روان الغيث  18 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                        ركز على شعورك الداخلي أولا و ليس على "هل أُعجب بي هذا الشخص"

                                                                                                                                        • Palobar
                                                                                                                                          Palobar  19 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                          "...I got out of childhood with the goal of never being left...". After so many years, this is the first time that someone who doesn't even know me, summarized my life in just one sentence and broke me down into tears. The more I watch this video again and again, the more I appreciate it. One of the best videos I came across in youtube.

                                                                                                                                          • Heidilambach
                                                                                                                                            Heidilambach  19 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                            Yeeeeah! Thank you so much, this was absolutely wonderful!

                                                                                                                                            • Azzam Hassan
                                                                                                                                              Azzam Hassan  19 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                              I’m so disappointed with TEDx for the first time. This was a deceiving title and waste of time Video.

                                                                                                                                              • Jeff Silverberg
                                                                                                                                                Jeff Silverberg  20 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                So… I am supposed I am supposed to listen to someone who can’t seem to stay married tell me who I should marry? Yeah, I don’t think so.

                                                                                                                                                • Camille •
                                                                                                                                                  Camille •  21 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                  Hands down one of the best TedTalks I’ve listen to.. Thank you.. I needed this.. I will have it on replay so that I won’t forget.. 😊

                                                                                                                                                  • Brittany Hurst
                                                                                                                                                    Brittany Hurst  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                    I asked god/the universe to give me signs, & somehow ive been led to these life changing Ted Talks That hit right on the nose!!!!

                                                                                                                                                    • Brenda Hobbs
                                                                                                                                                      Brenda Hobbs  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                      Thank you Tracey

                                                                                                                                                      • Unknown Beauty
                                                                                                                                                        Unknown Beauty  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                        Wow, seriously? I didnt know that its possible to marry with yourself. Just wow.

                                                                                                                                                        • Nicholas Lin
                                                                                                                                                          Nicholas Lin  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                          I'm willing to guess that all conflicts and arguements within her three marriage relationships involve her refusing to compromise. The disagreements are never resolved they are just dropped from conversation. And shes that as an acceptable resolution. I doubt most would agree with her on that point - but are too afraid of causing conflict with her to speak out. And that is why she could only see herself marrying herself - since you cannot actually disagree with yourself.

                                                                                                                                                          • Nicholas Lin
                                                                                                                                                            Nicholas Lin  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                            She is someone who does not trust anyone. Because she could never trust both her parents - mother and father both. Thus I doubt she actually trust herself.

                                                                                                                                                            • Yolande Hart
                                                                                                                                                              Yolande Hart  22 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                              Amazing I hear you sista. Im walking the same path of self love, care, attention and never leaving myself. Thank you - inspirational and so valuable for women to hear and embrace. xx

                                                                                                                                                              • Tina C
                                                                                                                                                                Tina C  23 күн бұрын

                                                                                                                                                                Amazing words!!! I marry me first 🥰