How to Find Out If He Wants a Relationship (What to say!)

  • Published: 10 March 2016
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    Have you ever felt unsure about when or how to bring up the "Are you looking for a relationship?" conversation with a guy?
    In this video, I share with you a perspective that will calm your nerves and give you more confidence when you have this conversation. AND I give you exactly what you can say that will give you a clear understanding of what he is looking for in his love life.
    Please post a comment on this video... I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic!
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    Mat Boggs Bio:
    As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
    As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs’ dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
    Mat’s Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
    As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
    Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups from 20yrs old to over 70yrs old.
    If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here:

    Related Topics:
    Dating Advice For Women
    Relationship Advice For Women
    Relationship Coach For Women
    Dating Coach For Women
    Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.

Comments • 275

  • Gail Fisher
    Gail Fisher  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

    🌸 I’ve never laughed so hard in all my life.....good lord you must have your poor wife in stitches 24/7 😂

    • Karen Escalera
      Karen Escalera  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

      Ty this is exactly the tone I’ve been searching to relate to my friend, as I’m not sure what type of “friend” he’s looking for.

      • nerissa arviana yusi
        nerissa arviana yusi  Pirms 2 Mēnešiem

        What if he say “we are relationship” ?

        • Angela Wolfe Puente
          Angela Wolfe Puente  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

          Minute 1:33 just hilarious 😂

          • Georgous Snow saint fully sinner dragon killer


            • maria mistretta
              maria mistretta  Pirms 3 Mēnešiem

              A focus on the guy that want a relationship. Faithful. 🙂😁 So agree never waste time with a guy who doesn't text messages or email messages or text messages or a guy who will not commitment relationship. A dishonest player abusive manipulate narrastic bully control freak guy. Flaky ghosting Gosling jealous man who doesn't text messages. Bs tabloids are not nice either way. So not into toxic men online who waste my time. The misable guy I dump him yrs ago. Move on without them. Byes If a guy is immature man insecure than dump him fast enough. Needy clinging codependent men. Awww did it hurt when I dump them fast enough good I'm glad. Lol. Lmaf freedom from bullshit past guy doesn't need to be misable with a useless dating site scams sites. So glad I dont give a dam of dating sites. To much toxic men online there anyway. I dont care to date any toxic people online. My life is better off without bullshit. 👍🙂

              • Anatolia Dse
                Anatolia Dse  Pirms 4 Mēnešiem

                I’m so sure he doesn’t feel the same way... should I still tell him or just move on?

                • Lava Yuki
                  Lava Yuki  Pirms 5 Mēnešiem

                  I asked directly by asking how they see me after a couple of dates.

                  • Jennifer Martin
                    Jennifer Martin  Pirms 5 Mēnešiem

                    What do you do if your with someone who struggles with your childrens attitude?

                    • lauryn Lu
                      lauryn Lu  Pirms 5 Mēnešiem

                      Hi Matt, I have been going out date with a man for about a month now. He show a lots of affection when he around me . We have not been kiss or have sex yet , we only hug and hold hand . He very patient with me . He didn’t want to scare me away .He make plans every times we go out . He text every day if we not talking.We only see each other every other weekend because he has his daughter. When we together I feel he likes me a lots, he always presents when we talk over the phone ,we share a lots of our history and he likes it and encourage me opening up more and want to get to know me . I felt for him too. I just wanted to know your expertise advice is it too early for me to ask him if he wants to commit to the relationship ? On my last date , I kind of checked with him if he ever thought of getting married again ? He said “yes “ with the right person.. But he has not yet mentioned our relationship. I felt that he has been observing my emotions when we face time.. because his ex is bipolar. Should I be patient wait for him to make move or should I take action to ask him where we at? Thank you very much for your help and I am looking forward for your guidance.

                      • CBMaster2
                        CBMaster2  Pirms 5 Mēnešiem

                        This guy is always asking the dumbest questions. Magic wand, really? If a girl asks me this I'll this she's weird as fuck

                        • R M
                          R M  Pirms 6 Mēnešiem

                          Just wondering: why not just simply ask : "Do you want a relationship?" Is there something I'm missing here?

                          • Laurel Brookes
                            Laurel Brookes  Pirms 6 Mēnešiem

                            Great info, Mat. You rock! I'm just getting back into the dating game and definitely have a lot to learn. Appreciate your light-hearted wisdom. Do you have any videos on guidelines for lst phone conversation in OLD (on line dating)?

                            • Grashanie Girl
                              Grashanie Girl  Pirms 7 Mēnešiem

                              I'll keep watching this video to convince myself that I did the right thing :-)

                              • Grashanie Girl
                                Grashanie Girl  Pirms 7 Mēnešiem

                                I asked him this. He did not reply to me for days. Bye! hahaha

                                • Lauraqueen F
                                  Lauraqueen F  Pirms 7 Mēnešiem

                                  I'm going on a date third date with this Italian guy, he is cooking dinner for us by the way, which is very nice. I want to use this opportunity to asking if he wants a relationship. Eeh

                                  • Megi W piegi
                                    Megi W piegi  Pirms 8 Mēnešiem

                                    What if he says he wants to settle down on the first date?

                                    • square Bizz
                                      square Bizz  Pirms 10 Mēnešiem

                                      You are golden & funny to make me excited to date again! Thank you i apprecite you 👍

                                      • Raquel Garcia
                                        Raquel Garcia  Pirms 10 Mēnešiem

                                        The issue is not with asking the right question...he can still tell you that he wants a relationship when he doesn’t

                                        • lea karasiok
                                          lea karasiok  Pirms 10 Mēnešiem

                                          Quite instructive video,I learned much today

                                          • Dinna Villanueva
                                            Dinna Villanueva  Pirms 10 Mēnešiem

                                            Every night and day I'm listening to your advice and I like it, And I'm really really interested about your advice Because I want to protect my relationship with someone I love And even if we're far away from each other, we want to keep our love alive even if he's away from me And I'm ready to wait no matter how long because I love him 😢😥💖❤And for me he is my life...!!!

                                            • Nyéki Judit
                                              Nyéki Judit  Pirms 10 Mēnešiem

                                              Believe me or not, after seeing Matt s videos I got emotionally healed and gained so much self confidence that I could end a relationship that was hurting me, because it was love only from my side. He said that he felt we were friends. For months I was trying to make him fall in love with me, and went almost crazy. Finally after almost a year suffering, / because I felt that from my side it was such a crazy love, that I thought he was the love of my life./ I just said to myself that I ask God to send me a guy who has all the qualities I love in him, but has not got the bad sides. I do believe in answered prayers /maybe others ask from the Universe..I personally ask the things I want from God/ and I am awaiting for a guy who looks pretty much like him, has the goodness of him, but has not got the badass side . And I am soooooo relieved, because I can just use my faith and attract the person.

                                              • Tiffany Talavera
                                                Tiffany Talavera  Pirms 11 Mēnešiem

                                                Matt is adorable to watch and inspiring to follow. Relationship here I come.

                                                • Allison Tomlinson
                                                  Allison Tomlinson  Pirms 11 Mēnešiem

                                                  Why do guys who don't want a relationship peruse you as if they want a relationship?

                                                  • Kate Li
                                                    Kate Li  Pirms 11 Mēnešiem

                                                    1:30 - IMAO

                                                    • niki Gran
                                                      niki Gran  Pirms 11 Mēnešiem

                                                      That about the snakes soo funny!!!

                                                      • irene angelucci
                                                        irene angelucci  Pirms 11 Mēnešiem

                                                        I think I'm in love with you 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

                                                        • BROWN SUGA
                                                          BROWN SUGA  Pirms Gada

                                                          Hi Mathew , I asked this question...he said " To be with someone and have a baby girl" ... mmmm is this a good enough answer....I was expecting more !! 🙁

                                                          • Augusta Yarteh
                                                            Augusta Yarteh  Pirms Gada

                                                            When I meet my former lover of my heart i can tell that he wants my relationship he don't want to missed me at all or loose me. Till this break time he will talking to people about how he was so lucky to meet somebody like me; because of my sincerity and caring alone he will talk about. it to so many people i will just be laughing to people that he missed some thing out of his way. I look at some men who will make very important to me for no reason. I am just laughing and thanking God for the kind of person i am today nothing bothers me mow

                                                            • The Moms view - lol StarDustEnergy

                                                              Wow another video that has cleared up everything and changed my life for the better! Thank you so much!! Much light love namaste💛💚💙💜❤💛💚💙💜❤💛💚💙💜❤💛💚💙💜❤👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

                                                              • Macayla Perea
                                                                Macayla Perea  Pirms Gada

                                                                So saying this sentence you mentioned in this video goes well. And he asks me the same thing. I obviously want him so could I say “well if I had the magic wand I’d put you and I together” or how else could you reply?

                                                                • ydasda42
                                                                  ydasda42  Pirms Gada

                                                                  If he responds in a way you like, what do you follow up with?

                                                                  • Mandana Ahmadi
                                                                    Mandana Ahmadi  Pirms Gada

                                                                    I’ve been dating a guy now for ten weeks, we started as friends with benefits, but after two weeks he texted me everyday all day long and wants to see me as many as he can. So for 8 weeks we’ve been seeing each other 4 or 5 days a week. Now my question is, are we having a relationship or not? Because I’m to afraid to ask him this.

                                                                    • Ana Maria
                                                                      Ana Maria  Pirms Gada

                                                                      You are funny! :)

                                                                      • Gabriela Maier
                                                                        Gabriela Maier  Pirms Gada

                                                                        This is great assuming the guy will actually be honest. But a lot of men know how to play the game...they will tell u what u wanna hear until they get in ur pants. Then u start to see their true colors. Don't be naive ladies!

                                                                        • lungie n
                                                                          lungie n  Pirms Gada


                                                                          • D R
                                                                            D R  Pirms Gada

                                                                            He didnt want to answer the relationship question. That's why I asked him!🤣🤣🤣 LMFAO

                                                                            • lance cofield
                                                                              lance cofield  Pirms Gada

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                                                                              • Ladybug
                                                                                Ladybug  Pirms Gada

                                                                                You're amazing

                                                                                • Bruna Andreis
                                                                                  Bruna Andreis  Pirms Gada

                                                                                  I am so gonna die alone

                                                                                  • Tina !
                                                                                    Tina !  Pirms Gada

                                                                                    Lately I've only attracted boys who wanted to have sex with me and dared to lie about it. I've met someone new a week ago and I know for sure he's into me: always asking me what I'm doing, seems very interested about what I say and remembers stuff about me, he also notices and tells me he appreciates when I do the same. However (I live in France) and in 2 months we're going to pass a big exam before going to college, far away. I was wondering if I should tell him we won't have sex and he can leave now if that's he wants. I want to do it just to make sure I don't loose my time because I HAVE MY EXAM TO PASS!!!

                                                                                    • Μαρία Τερζοπούλου

                                                                                      do you have relationship???????hahahah

                                                                                      • Christina Simonton
                                                                                        Christina Simonton  Pirms Gada

                                                                                        I guess hangout with a guy is a start right? He asked me out of the blue

                                                                                        • Corina Bizzell
                                                                                          Corina Bizzell  Pirms Gada

                                                                                          Recently my husband and I separated. He lost our home and didn't tell me. I had to find out by a realtor that came by to look at the property when I asked why the realtor said that it was to autioned at a foreclosure sale the next day at the courthouse. He pulled up the notice on his smartphone and fainted. My daughter and I left the next day and my friends packed us up. I have a terminal illness and I had one daughter to pass away in a car accident and I never packed up her room. My friends did. My estranged husband never calls, our daughter hates him, however I never speak bad about him to her or around her. I call him begging him to spend my time with her, he never calls to ask on his own. I assume he doesn't want to reconcile. When I ask he changes the subject. I didn't want to take him to court for child support he only gives me money when I beg him. He just bought a new car while i am driving our 16 yr old car. Slap in our faces, I feel. I am done. He acts hurt when i told him last week. I feel like I am correct to say that I need a lawyer for child support and allimony even though it was me that left him over the pain he has caused our daughter and the loss of our home. She and I live off less than. $650/mo. I just wanted to see if he would do the right thing. I wa wrong.

                                                                                          • New Worldorder
                                                                                            New Worldorder  Pirms Gada

                                                                                            He tells you!!! However covert narcs do too. So that's scary.

                                                                                            • rachelle peterson
                                                                                              rachelle peterson  Pirms Gada


                                                                                              • Manolya Rowe
                                                                                                Manolya Rowe  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                I asked my guy to tell me what he wishes for his future. He said, once he hiked up a mounten and on top there was a park bench. An old couple around their 80s where sitting on it. The husband was huging his wife and she was kissing him on the cheek. He said thats what he wants for his future. Can I assume he wants a relationship? He also said out of the blue, that I would get along very well with his mom 😍

                                                                                                • djw
                                                                                                  djw  Pirms 8 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                  That could go either way. Ask him directly.

                                                                                                  • dig Garcia
                                                                                                    dig Garcia  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                    Sounds like devotion to me.

                                                                                                    • Magdalene
                                                                                                      Magdalene  Pirms Gada


                                                                                                      • Ana Maria
                                                                                                        Ana Maria  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                        Manolya Rowe or he was trying to get into your panties. Date him for months without sleeping with him and you'll see if he wants a relationship with you

                                                                                                        • Jenny Machado
                                                                                                          Jenny Machado  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                          Manolya Rowe you're winning

                                                                                                          • Among My Souviners
                                                                                                            Among My Souviners  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                            I am just confused right now because i meet a guy online and we became friends,we both enjoyed long good conversation,we laugh,we are both open,we get intimate for several times and we can talk about anything...we can share thoughts...but we have'nt meet yet in person...i know my self that i am ready for a serious relationship that will leads to marraige...and i know myself that i have a strong feeling for him now....i know i fall inlove with him and i can feel spark everytime i think of him...the thing is he said to me that he knows that in the future he wants to marry again but for now he is not in a hurry to be in a serious relationship...he have plan to come and visit me here in the Philippines .one time he told me that he is not good to show his feelings,just twice he told me the word ''i love you''...but he often say i am beautiful,that he is really attracted to me...he also say to me that he have this strong feeling for me,but he is really not 100% sure if it's love..that's why he told me much better if we meet in person and see what will gonna happen....please i need some advice....

                                                                                                            • Natalie Frances
                                                                                                              Natalie Frances  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                              This video, along with all your videos (apart from 10 questions to ask on a date, as I'm already doing that) has really helped me to clean up, sweep out time wasters and make space for some seriously good men/people. Adding your videos, and applying some of the things you advise to a journey I was already on has assisted me no end. Every woman needs a friend like you.

                                                                                                              • sheanah2009
                                                                                                                sheanah2009  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                I am feeling so confused. This guy I met on Tinder and my intention is meet the person for fun and more if it is even possible. Anyways, we met and had a great time together. This happened when I was in his country for holiday. After that, we kept in touch and continued to chat daily about the things we do, things we like, the food we enjoy and our experiences and all. I asked him what was he looking for when he took up an account in Tinder and he says companionship. So, what does he mean by that? Is he open to a relationship?

                                                                                                                • Oonagh Ashdown
                                                                                                                  Oonagh Ashdown  Pirms 8 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                  sheanah2009 if you go back to his country to live it might be possible

                                                                                                                  • Patty Cake
                                                                                                                    Patty Cake  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                    Love the videos! LOL the grey hair, cute!

                                                                                                                    • evnomia iw
                                                                                                                      evnomia iw  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                      Thank you ...excellent advice and information!

                                                                                                                      • Delia Wagman
                                                                                                                        Delia Wagman  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                        Thanks Matt.. It really make sense. Love the way you guide us.!

                                                                                                                        • SilvaMC
                                                                                                                          SilvaMC  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                          Thank you. That helps me form a strategy.

                                                                                                                          • Luisa Pascalis
                                                                                                                            Luisa Pascalis  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                            And what if the guy says let me have a think and he continues like normal (he doesn't ghost)...?

                                                                                                                            • L. M.
                                                                                                                              L. M.  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                              You are hilarious, I laughed a bit!

                                                                                                                              • Jahaira Zavala
                                                                                                                                Jahaira Zavala  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                I just did that and this is the response I got. Hmmm.... that's a pretty loaded question cause it does have a simple answer but has complication behind it, but I'll do my best to answer that

                                                                                                                                • Jahaira Zavala
                                                                                                                                  Jahaira Zavala  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                  The rest of his response The simple answer would honestly be to be with someone and know it's stable, for both myself and for them to feel comfort in just knowing that we both aren't going to go behind each other's back to someone else and be happy at the core of the relationship, it may seem a bit like a fantasy idea but that's where the complication part comes in

                                                                                                                                  • Adelaida Strenkowski
                                                                                                                                    Adelaida Strenkowski  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                    We’re dating, but there’s no commitment and no relationship. We agreed to that,, but I think I’m falling in love with him. He shows some things that he gets jealous and cares. I’m confused,, if he likes me or not. Please give me an advice

                                                                                                                                    • natsumomoko
                                                                                                                                      natsumomoko  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                      Can I ask this over text?

                                                                                                                                      • Yo Uniqca
                                                                                                                                        Yo Uniqca  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                        Omg! The person i want to have relationship with is my pen pal whom I’ve never meet in person but have been writing to each other for years. What should I do in this case? Is it possible?

                                                                                                                                        • Satanen Perkele
                                                                                                                                          Satanen Perkele  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                          Why not just try Skype? Then you can talk face to face.

                                                                                                                                          • A True Love Official
                                                                                                                                            A True Love Official  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                            Thank you so much for this great advice, this is really hepful when you want to know or making clear when he wants relationship with you.

                                                                                                                                            • Georgia
                                                                                                                                              Georgia  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                              PS. Thank you man for the great advices 😆👍

                                                                                                                                              • Georgia
                                                                                                                                                Georgia  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                                😂😂😂😂 I loved the snakes man!! 😂😂😂😂

                                                                                                                                                • Zaapi
                                                                                                                                                  Zaapi  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                                  Ohh he's right... ha ha I clearly don't want a relationship now, I said those two answer

                                                                                                                                                  • Colibri
                                                                                                                                                    Colibri  Pirms Gada

                                                                                                                                                    Thank you so much for this videos!! I'm finally understanding these weird creatures! Lol

                                                                                                                                                    • Corina Domocos
                                                                                                                                                      Corina Domocos  Pirms 2 Gadiem


                                                                                                                                                      • Makeup Time With Kelly
                                                                                                                                                        Makeup Time With Kelly  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                        What do you suggest for women looking to try and find a great guy and they live in a extremely small town? My town is so tiny and everybody knows everybody here. I've struggled trying to find a guy here and I hate the thought of dating websites. I would love to meet a guy the old fashioned way and in person but here it seems like all the good guys are taken and off limits! I don't want to just date any guy because I would rather be single than to date the wrong one. But dang I've been single pretty much since 2013! I need some serious help here lol.

                                                                                                                                                        • Oonagh Ashdown
                                                                                                                                                          Oonagh Ashdown  Pirms 8 Mēnešiem

                                                                                                                                                          Kelly Sykes use the dating sites to set up a bunch of dates in a big town over a whole Saturday (4hrs per date) Lunch Afternoon tea Dinner Dancing And taxi home or dropped at your hotel If you chat enough in advance to your matches you can organise it accordingly 💪👍👌🙏😎

                                                                                                                                                          • Yeo Hwee
                                                                                                                                                            Yeo Hwee  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                            Before it's too late ..... Losing Great Relationship .

                                                                                                                                                            • P King
                                                                                                                                                              P King  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                              OK so I met this guy who from the start told me he never wanted to get married again, never live with someone again, and was enjoying this stage of his life, mid 50's. After one coffee date and a few weeks of texting and flirting because our schedules didn't match up for anything more he texted me one night after happy hour and told me he missed me and liked me. I played it cool at first but the next day i asked if it was the alcohol talking and he said no. 2 more days of texting and then I get a Dear Jane email with no explanation. Anyone have thoughts on this?

                                                                                                                                                              • Vijaya Lakshmi
                                                                                                                                                                Vijaya Lakshmi  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                He said I want to see what when pressed ...i don't mind seeing someone....bye freak

                                                                                                                                                                • jenni0692
                                                                                                                                                                  jenni0692  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                  Wait, so what does it mean when a guy says he ain't ready for a relationship yet but he wants you to be good friends and see where it goes??

                                                                                                                                                                  • Lee Daniels
                                                                                                                                                                    Lee Daniels  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                    Best advise I've ever gotten! Love it!!

                                                                                                                                                                    • Alana Garisson
                                                                                                                                                                      Alana Garisson  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                      Okay, what if he says he is in a relationship. And they say yes I am, how do you respond to this. Please let me know.

                                                                                                                                                                      • Jeff H
                                                                                                                                                                        Jeff H  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                        Your advice seems applicable regardless of situation. For example, much of what you say it is helpful in gay relationships too.

                                                                                                                                                                        • Sky10811
                                                                                                                                                                          Sky10811  Pirms 2 Gadiem

                                                                                                                                                                          guys who r patological liers (e.g. with NPD/narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths etc) will be comfortable with all your questions as they will answer exactly what you wanna hear). Ur method, Mat, will not work here. and it s 5% of population. add there guys who are players and u will realise that their answer about "what u want in ur love life" means nothing