The Roommates Talk Hating Dating, Owning Past Mistakes, Leading Women On + More

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  • Published: 11 July 2019
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    This week on the podcast Hafeez and Chris are discuss hating dating, owning up to their past mistakes in relationships, leading women on + more

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    The Roommates Podcast is a late-night conversation taking you behind the scenes of “becoming” featuring all the interesting people, perspectives, and conversations you’d experience on the way. The Roommates brand of conversation is entertainment like a standup, educational like a TED talk and enlightenment like a sermon.

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Comments • 50

  • David of Midgar
    David of Midgar  3 months back

    More of these shorter clips please. They are easy to watch and bingeable which means to an increase views and followers!

    • Maxine Miller
      Maxine Miller  3 months back

      We are NOT able to have sex without eventually having emotional connection. Even the hardest and most self proclaimed feminist entrenched women can not sustain that. It is a PAINFUL LIE.

    • The Health Body Fitness
      The Health Body Fitness  3 months back

      Healing is Needed

      • Pamarie Smith
        Pamarie Smith  3 months back

        You can’t say a man can’t go cold turkey. He just won’t. Anyone can abstain from the opposite sex but do they want to? Some men, just like some women, can’t stand to be alone. That’s where the problem lies. So until you can stand your own company, how will you ever heal.

        • mickyfingaz
          mickyfingaz  3 months back

          When dudes try to go cold turkey and really work on themselves like getting in shape, concentrating on their job, getting their spiritual life together, going to grad school, here come the sistas on the train, the ones who change their pew position at church, the sistas who magically start showing up at the park for a run at the same time you like to run. It's hard for men who try to go cold turkey. I had to wear a fake wedding band and put a picture of my brother's wife and kids on my desk at one job I had because there was too much drama going on at that place.

          • Jasmin12
            Jasmin12  3 months back

            Moscents40 Houston why do women always give men a hard time when they express their true feelings

          • mickyfingaz
            mickyfingaz  3 months back

            @Moscents40 Houston Throwing on a wedding ring wasn't extra considering the environment i worked in. I don't shit where I eat so the wedding ring and family pics stopped the inquiries about me and the invitations to happy hours after work. Don't dismiss my strategy because it was something that you wouldn't do. It was a good strategy and it worked. any other questions?

          • Moscents40 Houston
            Moscents40 Houston  3 months back

            Where does self control come in? Putting on a wedding ring just to throw women off it so extra, just be honest and leave it at that. Doing that is already deceitful 🤔 rings, pictures who has time for that.

        • Debby Silence
          Debby Silence  3 months back

          You two kill me with your manscape talk. smh.

          • Keola Allen
            Keola Allen  3 months back

            @hafeez, I cant with the theme music @6:06. 😂 On another note, this was a great conversation to have. We have to continuously check ourselves and take accountability for our own actions. Also, healing is SO important!

            • etf42
              etf42  3 months back

              dating is even worse in your 30s, women do not get better with age

              • Ashley Yamamoto
                Ashley Yamamoto  3 months back

                (* Contemplative tone of thinking voice) can men not go cold turkey? hmm.. sounds limitting. I think men can do it. do men want to do it? maybe not.. is it maybe the better choice, knowing that more women are likely to get attatched? possibily.. waiting untill you find the person you want to fully invest into sounds pretty fair and practical if your main objective is to find your wife. I don't know, for me.. saying, hey, i've been waiting to have sex with somebody im really into, i did the whole hooking up thing and i saw how i was hurting more women then having fun with them." it suppppper attractive. Maybe on some level, i think, men too find it attractive to hear that from the women their intrested in. everybodys diffrentof cource, <3 good podcast!

                • Schmidty
                  Schmidty  3 months back

                  Ashley Yamamoto
                  You are talking about alphas most men are betas NOT many alphas. Alphas have multiple women most betas can barely get 1 woman.

                • etf42
                  etf42  3 months back

                  no, the overwhelming majority of men do not go without voluntarily. involuntarily is a different story.

              • EricVon bush
                EricVon bush  3 months back

                Hard in 2019 i hate dating too prefer a friendship leading to courtship without fear of being real with each other no matter what

              • smilergal89
                smilergal89  3 months back

                Y’all don’t want to partake in the game/system y’all set up? Nah - it’s too late partner, continue to put your neck on the line and shoot your shot.

                • Alma Romero
                  Alma Romero  3 months back

                  Why dont men take the time to heal???? Or to be fully alone??

                  • Genia Foster
                    Genia Foster  3 months back

                    Most men don't like being alone

                  • Men Are The Prize
                    Men Are The Prize  3 months back

                    Alma Romero women are the main ones super hurt out here

                • Beth Stoll
                  Beth Stoll  3 months back

                  If a man says he is not ready for a relationship, listen to him and believe him. If you are ready, don't entertain the idea that you can change his mind. Just be friends and don't let things go beyond that. It will save everyone in the long run.

                  • Genay Nay
                    Genay Nay  3 months back

                    Why cant we find each other? Wheres the bridge

                    • Kaela Wyche
                      Kaela Wyche  3 months back

                      I feel like this was a lot of repeated information from past videos but still a good conversation none the less

                      • Genia Foster
                        Genia Foster  3 months back

                        Maybe it needs to be repeated

                      • MikeBNumba6
                        MikeBNumba6  3 months back

                        @Julius Byes yea i usually watch when they have guest. When it's just them talking it's "meh"

                      • Julius Byes
                        Julius Byes  3 months back

                        Kaela Wyche seems like all there solo episodes are pretty much repeated info. But when they have new roommates there with them the conversations vary a lot more.

                    • Amina Love
                      Amina Love  3 months back

                      Great video! I think it is definitely important that men and women hold themselves accountable. One thing I’d like to say is that even if you are up front with a woman about only wanting something casual it’s important to let her walk away (or you should walk away) if she gets to the point where she states that she wants a relationship and you know you can't reciprocate. It leads to the woman feeling lead on because the man doesn’t want to let her go but won’t commit and to the man resenting the woman for him having feelings he wasn’t ready for, but also not wanting anyone else to have her. The fault is on both parties, her for jumping in to something she knew she couldn’t do and him for being selfish and holding on to a woman he wasn’t ready for. I’ve had a situation that started casual, but once I got to the point of having strong feelings I was straight forward about wanting a relationship and when he said he didn't want the same thing I decided to walk away and the guy just wouldn’t leave me alone and kept coming back. We tried a relationship, however, he just he wasn’t ready, but didn't want to lose me and got mad at me for ending it and cutting all contact. I had to move on from the situation. I don’t blame him, we were just at different stages of our life and moving at different paces. I take full responsibility for my actions, ignoring red flags and for focusing on potential that hadn't manifested. I definitely would never call him a bad guy, he just still had some work to do. Watching your podcasts has definitely has helped me heal after that situation and I now understand where he was coming from. I've been able to forgive him as well as myself. I won’t be making the same mistakes again!

                      • Nyakz
                        Nyakz  3 months back

                        What women say they want and what they respond to are worlds apart! The guys women say they want do not excite in the way that speaks to their instrinctic animalistic nature. Thats my opinion

                        • me
                          me  3 weeks back

                          @DE PY I'm not like that with friends or guys. if people don't like you that's their problem. If I like you its from the heart. (RE: your previous comment)

                        • me
                          me  3 weeks back

                          @DE PY so is primal nature wrong?

                        • DE PY
                          DE PY  3 weeks back

                          @me That's your primal nature responding and subconsciously wanting to reproduce with the dominant male the key is understanding female nature.

                        • me
                          me  3 weeks back

                          there is something about a guy that doesn't care what other people think but also having people respect him that is unmatched. a guy that knows how to have fun and bring you into it as his woman. I wrote my name as "Olivia cent" in middle school when. candy shop came out lol. I would never date a rapper now, or attracted to them. the guy on my mind now is a respected lawyer but also a playboy -.- hopefully this phase will die down ..

                        • DE PY
                          DE PY  3 months back

                          What attracts a woman changes with age. I remember when I was in grade school (K-8) girls were attracted to the guys with the most bravado.

                          In High School & college women were more attracted to status. I noticed women were governed by their social group as well. You could be a good looking guy but if her social group wasn’t feeling you it was over.

                      • Nyakz
                        Nyakz  3 months back

                        What women say they want and what they respond to are worlds apart! The guys women say they want do not excite in the way that speaks to their instrinctic animalistic nature. Thats my opinion

                        • Merouria
                          Merouria  3 months back

                          At what point are we going to admit that the type of guys that these women choosing says more about the character of these women than it does about those guys. Their choices MIRROR their own internal personalities and we have to be honest about this before we can move forward and address the character flaws of the guys.

                          • Wewereneveryoung
                            Wewereneveryoung  3 months back

                            It's both parties. No one is more "bad guy" than the other. We're just human for goodness sakes, we all make mistakes. But keep casting the first stone.

                        • SunKissed
                          SunKissed  3 months back

                          I hate it too!!! It's so hard to find eligible men especially here in the Caribbean.😫😞 They aren't cultured to be Godly, Loyal and living/loving on Purpose. 💔😩

                          • faith H
                            faith H  3 months back

                            SunKissed pray for it, work on yourself, and put yourself in position where structured men are. I hope get better for you lol

                        • Nathaniel Santana
                          Nathaniel Santana  3 months back

                          I've experienced and observed a lot of women who act super casual and emotionally detached when it comes to sex. Usually they've expressed this to be "male minded behavior". But it becomes confusing because there are a lot of women who act detached emotionally and at the same get attached physically. A lot of women have told me that they keep their feelings inside in fear that if they expressed emotions they would scare the man away...so they act like they're cool with just a casual dick appointment when really they just want to be loved. It's sad because women are so used to being with emotionally unintelligent men that they feel like they can't have feelings in order to keep a man until he's ready to be vulnerable, transparent, and communicative... SMH.

                          • Demetri Wade
                            Demetri Wade  3 months back

                            Nathaniel Santana It is what it is. No string attached STD free sex seems pretty good to me. To hell with being vulnerable, she’ll use it against us in the future. I’m not going to get emotionally attached neither should she

                          • Beth Stoll
                            Beth Stoll  3 months back

                            I have now learned that in order to have a successful long term relationship, you cannot get physical right away. I told a guy that things will not get physical right off the bat and he replied "We'll see." No, we won't see. He said, "Well, what if it happens?" I replied that the right man for me will wait. If more people would learn this, there wouldn't be all this craziness from women and men not understanding why the women go batshit crazy. When you have sex right away, that is all it is then (in most cases) from that moment on. Get to know someone and see if there is a connection. If there is a true connection (after multiple times of seeing each other), then go for it!

                          • Cithrah Henderson
                            Cithrah Henderson  3 months back

                            alllllllllllllllllllllll of this

                          • TheSnowFoxParty
                            TheSnowFoxParty  3 months back

                            Yup that's my life. I used to be emotionally open but guys kept crushing me so now I'm a hermit of emotions and I stopped expressing and stopped feeling and just dont give a damn.

                          • ChrissyPoo516
                            ChrissyPoo516  3 months back

                            👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this is sooooo real! this is what I experienced for many, many years because my self worth was extremely low. From not healing from my first heartbreak i went into a hoe phase where I convinced myself that I just wanted casual sex but it was really out of fear; I eventually learned that I had toxic pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable men. Thank God for growth and life lessons, now I'm on a path of self healing and attracting a healthy partnership.

                        • Yennette Smith
                          Yennette Smith  3 months back

                          Guys!! I wish people carried themselves with the honesty that you just spoke of!!!! I had a guy come at me like that. I felt great that he said it. I have a lot of respect for him. I have also dealt with the deceitful side. It is a shame for people to trick others into altering their lives based on a lie. I ALWAYS appreciate your content. Great job! 💪🏾💞

                          • Dumfries Spearhead
                            Dumfries Spearhead  3 months back

                            You want a sensational man/woman, but are you sensational?

                            • Nyakz
                              Nyakz  3 months back

                              Facts