What NOT to do on a FIRST DATE (Strange but True)

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  • Published: 15 October 2015
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    In this video I reveal a common mistake many people make on a first date. The answer might surprise you!
    Please post a comment on this video... I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic!
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    What NOT to do on a First Date (Strange But True)
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    Mat Boggs Bio:
    As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
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    Related Topics:
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    Relationship Coach For Women
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    Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.

Comments • 548

  • Owaku Carolina
    Owaku Carolina  Day ago

    But I want this men for my life....what should I do.???

    • Owaku Carolina
      Owaku Carolina  Day ago

      What if you don’t have a date for more than many years..?

      • Rachel Demissie
        Rachel Demissie  5 days ago

        is this a "what Not to do" video or story time?

        • Johnson Yuen
          Johnson Yuen  12 days ago

          Not don't do of course

          • Vegtam Borsson
            Vegtam Borsson  14 days ago

            Haha I just said to my date I am looking forward to tomorrow. Nevermind I am sure she won't mind too much we are getting on pretty good so far. I am mostly worried that I will meet her and she will be bigger (fatter) than I imagined since she hasn't sent any photos of her body only headshots.

            • Kimberly Gause
              Kimberly Gause  18 days ago

              You are so funny! I am trying to put on my makeup before I head out today, and its hard to keep from laughing cause you had me laughing so hard! Thanks for the positive vibrations and may you have many great fun dates in the future!

              • Sondra Myles
                Sondra Myles  23 days ago

                I like that Matt! Thanks

                • Cathleen Woodall
                  Cathleen Woodall  25 days ago

                  Happiness is an inside job...can’t expect it from another person...be happy within your own presence...aligned with your inner source energy.

                  • Lorinda Coleman
                    Lorinda Coleman  26 days ago

                    It's an adventure!

                    • Mary Arbaiza
                      Mary Arbaiza  Month ago

                      That is so funny & quite an experience! Thanks for sharing...

                      • Second Sister
                        Second Sister  Month ago

                        7:22 - At least he tried to revive his fantasy. Funny. He should have drawn her out a bit more at the restaurant before asking her out.

                        • Blessin Nusraty
                          Blessin Nusraty  Month ago

                          Lol..who day dream so far ahead when they first meet someone?.... Not me... Never expect too much without knowing someone. I'm only into Christian contemporary music... I don't ever watch sports..but I used to play it when I was younger...I'm saying this to say, I'm open to go to a game, and do realistic things my partner is willing to do..because many times we shut something done not knowing how much fun it'll turn out to be.

                          • Lora Rooks
                            Lora Rooks  Month ago

                            Mat, you are so hilarious 😂. I love the way you tell stories!!😆😆

                            • Lourdes Lauricio
                              Lourdes Lauricio  Month ago

                              Hi matt your so handsome...

                              • Genevieve Roig
                                Genevieve Roig  Month ago

                                Matt...Matt...Matt... you are definitely a whippersnapper. You have a lot of energy. I don't agree with your first initial thought about being excited on the first date. It is natural there's not a whole lot you can do about that unless you practice to not excite yourself prior to meeting someone that you anticipate. You're also excluding the concept of interactions being positive building up the excitement of the first date. With the technological advancement these days we are texting not really calling unfortunately but we are manifesting even if it is artificial this sense of connection prior to meeting. Your example when you were hitting up the girl in her early twenties is reflective of that. It sounded more like a blind date because you would have gotten a sense of her personality and some conversation prior to meeting her in person.. Also the cognition of wondering why a man is excited because he should have other options is not the way to convey this message on here. That's sending the message to women watching your video that we wouldn't be good enough for a man to get excited about. Even if that wasn't your intention that's how that red. I usually watch you talk with their hands and they're enjoyable videos. I just thought I would weigh in on that one point.

                                • Frank the Tank
                                  Frank the Tank  2 months ago

                                  I am 21 years old a former boxing national champion of my home country and i can never seem to get a girlfriend and i am great looking. i also always think about the future haha, my next date in 10 days i wont do this.

                                  • Michelle Xu
                                    Michelle Xu  Month ago

                                    @Frank the Tankcan't even see it clearly though

                                    • Frank the Tank
                                      Frank the Tank  Month ago

                                      @Michelle Xu just put one up 😅

                                      • Michelle Xu
                                        Michelle Xu  Month ago

                                        I need to see a pic of you 😬

                                        • Danielle Koslowski
                                          Danielle Koslowski  2 months ago

                                          That was so accurate , we all have done that. Not anymore. Thanks Matthew! I adore your videos! Personality and presence too.

                                          • Joyce Brower
                                            Joyce Brower  2 months ago

                                            Hi Mat, Great video. Very helpful to me. In a couple of nights I'm going out on a first time date with a guy I have not not met but I've talked with him for about half an hour on the phone. He's a good friend are some friends of mine. He's picking me up and we're going to dinner. My question is do I have to invite him in either when he picks me up if I'm ready to go or when he drops me off? Also we're in our early 70s and active. Thanks for any input you may have.

                                            • Marshalee Patterson
                                              Marshalee Patterson  2 months ago

                                              You are so full of energy in your videos and your tips are so helpful. thank you, Matt. You had me laughing so much in this video about the flatline date, but got your point about being grateful which makes a lot of sense.

                                              • Ayesha S
                                                Ayesha S  2 months ago

                                                Smart man

                                                • Jordan Sullivan
                                                  Jordan Sullivan  2 months ago

                                                  🤣🤣🤣

                                                  • Rachel Lee
                                                    Rachel Lee  2 months ago

                                                    Who does not like music?!

                                                    • Erin Brown
                                                      Erin Brown  2 months ago

                                                      I am not turned off to someone excited on a date with me. This "who ever cares less wins" crap is nonsense and not who I am. I am not turned off by someone being into me. It's nice. It doesn't mean I will marry him but it's nicer than many other experiences, that's for sure.

                                                      • kelli gonsalves
                                                        kelli gonsalves  2 months ago

                                                        I just love your channel , Is it bad that number 1 I'm kinda picky and 2 that I just go with the flow ? Dating is great ,but is the way I approch it strange, because I just love meeting new people and I give everyone a chance ! I have been a bit shy on being excited before a date because I just want to meet them and see how we inter act . I do love the video with the 10 questions to ask that were off the wall I will use some of them . Thanks again your so funny

                                                        • peacelife
                                                          peacelife  3 months ago

                                                          Nice story

                                                          • Cecily Jamelia TV
                                                            Cecily Jamelia TV  3 months ago

                                                            You're very blessed Matthew. Thank you for sharing!

                                                            • Pearl Bience Unwanted Plant

                                                              Thank you for the video.. it's a big lesson of life. To cut down our daily fantasim errors on desires of fiction and not the reality facts. This video teaches us to control our thoughts and day dreams. We gonna be persistent and focus when we need to not waste time but make time for ourselves with someone we click and enjoy to.. Not about the person perfect tense but more Natural smart and decent tense..

                                                              • baby girl
                                                                baby girl  3 months ago

                                                                Hahaha LMAO😂😂😂

                                                                • Elaine Duddy
                                                                  Elaine Duddy  3 months ago

                                                                  You advise is gold. Thank you. It does wonders to focus on gratitude in all areas of ones life. I do forget this and you have reminded me of the importance.

                                                                  • Crazy Bruja
                                                                    Crazy Bruja  3 months ago

                                                                    What an excellent video with great information. Thank you so much.

                                                                    • Samantha Donjuan
                                                                      Samantha Donjuan  3 months ago

                                                                      I feel personally attacked by this content.

                                                                      • Monica Utrilla
                                                                        Monica Utrilla  3 months ago

                                                                        Dear Matt, I cannot tell you how PAINFULLY ILLUMINATING this video was. I am understanding how high expectations kill possibilities. But I am really grateful to you though, because now I know what kind of energy I should nurture. Thanks so much!

                                                                        • No Name
                                                                          No Name  3 months ago

                                                                          What happens when you had 0 expectations going into date 1 and it ended up amazing so you develop expectations that just get crushed?

                                                                          • Ji Li
                                                                            Ji Li  3 months ago

                                                                            Thank you! Don't futurize things, stay in the presence and see the person reveal themselves rather than focus on what you want

                                                                            • Chris A
                                                                              Chris A  3 months ago

                                                                              I want to express my gratitude 4 this video it was very insightful and I've learned so much from it. I began doing that after I met this person that I was really interested in and now I'm not going to do that I am going to be focused and stay in the present I'm so glad I found this video amazing I'm so grateful

                                                                              • Natalie Hilton
                                                                                Natalie Hilton  4 months ago

                                                                                Your take on relationships are amazing. Thank you!

                                                                                • may day
                                                                                  may day  4 months ago

                                                                                  don't start talking about stupid shit.

                                                                                  • Nicole Jennings
                                                                                    Nicole Jennings  4 months ago

                                                                                    No I don't really get upset often. I just get my free movie or dinner and if he doesn't have good conversation or communication in general, I pretty much forget about him as a serious candidate.

                                                                                    • Saliena Tinson
                                                                                      Saliena Tinson  4 months ago

                                                                                      I like this.

                                                                                      • Shell Puck
                                                                                        Shell Puck  4 months ago

                                                                                        Wow amazing video this just happened to me so lesson learnt no more getting excited about the date to crash back down again. I'm so GRATEFUL for Matt's videos thank you.

                                                                                        • Fun Videos
                                                                                          Fun Videos  4 months ago

                                                                                          I like to see a girl excited by me, if she's not excited by me then it feels like a bad vibe and that she is being deceitful or there's just no attraction.

                                                                                          • Elizabeth Sharp
                                                                                            Elizabeth Sharp  4 months ago

                                                                                            I wish you had more long distant relationship videos I've never been on a date I've never held hands kissed or anything he lives 1000 miles from me we've been dating so far for four months April 25th after we finish school and get enough money and decide where we're going we'll go on a date week we'll stay at a hotel and stuff and we're very open we know alot of each other we're talk about are feelings and if there's something we don't understand we help each other so we're on the same page we have a great connection he's already told me he loves me since a month in and it's frequent now and we text practically every day all day except when he's fishing we know each other's hobbies wants and dreams I just want to be prepared for the date I mean I've never been on a single date ever so I'm alittle scared but I'm confident whatever happens by the end of the night we'll be together I just want him to have a good time and what happens when we have to part I just don't know all the answers I wish I did but I don't and that's ok but if I can find some answers for some of my questions I can make this work

                                                                                            • Rachana Visawadia
                                                                                              Rachana Visawadia  4 months ago

                                                                                              Mat..I have recently started watching your videos..from the many coaches I have seen online you are one of the best and different from others in guiding and giving correct ways in approaching relationship.. simply loving your videos as you also help in giving clear understanding of phycological behaviour of a man..loads of love keep the good work going..👍👌😊

                                                                                              • Enrico Martinelli
                                                                                                Enrico Martinelli  4 months ago

                                                                                                This was actually really helpful. I have a date tomorrow and I've been overthinking non stop!

                                                                                                • maria mistretta
                                                                                                  maria mistretta  4 months ago

                                                                                                  Matt the dating coach is so right and so agree with him with how he talk about. Be patient postive embrace lifestyle be yourself confident brave honest value self worth self respect self help. Women can always tell when a man is faking it not being real. So agree women shouldn't excited about it because it show you have other options ladies. Avoid negative. Don't be in your head. Avoid Day dream be in the room be in conversation. A man should avoid sexual questions on a Frist conversation because that rushing things and listen to him or her not what his friends says. Don't assume things either. calm down stay stressless with the person. A man that plans things is a good man. Find things to talk about Basically. Don't force on day dreams. Don't be in your head. listen to each in a other conversation respond to each other. Gratitude is important friends and find the time harmony positive and l.o.v.e. compassion merciful and the right guy will enhance a relationship. Stay present in room, pay attention to the person to the person and conversation. Be a gentleman.

                                                                                                  • Mayela Tmr
                                                                                                    Mayela Tmr  5 months ago

                                                                                                    Loved it !!! ✨✨🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

                                                                                                    • LES GO GIRL
                                                                                                      LES GO GIRL  5 months ago

                                                                                                      OMG! Funniest video ever! Great story!

                                                                                                      • Adela Radichetti
                                                                                                        Adela Radichetti  5 months ago

                                                                                                        Like your examples

                                                                                                        • Chapinilla1
                                                                                                          Chapinilla1  5 months ago

                                                                                                          I don’t know why I’m commenting in here, maybe I just want to talk with somebody 🤣 but my story started with getting married when I was 25. He never loved me, he only used me to get his green card plus I suffered from domestic violence. Finally, I opened my eyes three years ago and divorced the narcissist. Two years and half I started dating (mostly from dating apps) but so far I can’t tell you I ended with a broken heart again. I dated this guy for seven months just to found out I was only a rebound to him while I fall in love 😂 I been dating A LOT of guys this time and I only can say that it’s been a waste of time, money and energy. Am I deserve all this painful years (almost 16 years) nope, no human being deserves to be abused but I’m tired of trying dating 🤷🏽‍♀️ And yes, when I had a date with a guy I had chemistry with. I was planning a future with him, thinking about how many kids we were gonna have 🤣😂🙃 CRAZY 😜

                                                                                                          • minh119
                                                                                                            minh119  5 months ago

                                                                                                            Thanks coach !!!

                                                                                                            • Kitten Bonniebonbons
                                                                                                              Kitten Bonniebonbons  5 months ago

                                                                                                              This is exactly why first dates should be casual coffee dates lol that way nobody spends a fortune on a bad match

                                                                                                              • Carmen Michaelian
                                                                                                                Carmen Michaelian  6 months ago

                                                                                                                Great advice Matt. I have done this before but now I will be grateful and be more present on my next date. Thanks so much for all you do for the clueless people out there in dating land.

                                                                                                                • Angela Young
                                                                                                                  Angela Young  6 months ago

                                                                                                                  I think it's your LEVEL of excitement that could easily lead to disappointment. You need to tone it down..A LOT. A little bit of you can go a long long ....long way. For you, gratitude = maturity, which is something I think you were missing in the past.

                                                                                                                  • A Taylor
                                                                                                                    A Taylor  6 months ago

                                                                                                                    Thank you so much for this video. I found it very informative both from a man's and a woman's perspective. GREAT JOB!

                                                                                                                    • Kate Kate
                                                                                                                      Kate Kate  6 months ago

                                                                                                                      Meet for coffee instead of dinner. It is less pressure and much cheaper. The second date can be a bit more elaborate if you really like each other. Gives you room to raise your game

                                                                                                                      • AMANDAbolic
                                                                                                                        AMANDAbolic  6 months ago

                                                                                                                        Really enjoyed these tips! Thanks!

                                                                                                                        • Alejandra Ogaz
                                                                                                                          Alejandra Ogaz  6 months ago

                                                                                                                          hahaha you explained it so good, so real, so fun to listen to the story.. I'd just literally remember the experience that I had made on a first date.. not even going out and start planning the following ones. Thanks a lot for these tips!.

                                                                                                                          • Rosemary Klass
                                                                                                                            Rosemary Klass  6 months ago

                                                                                                                            GREAT advice, Mat!!!

                                                                                                                            • Carole Cote
                                                                                                                              Carole Cote  6 months ago

                                                                                                                              I absolutely loved this video and I really needed to hear this ! I totally agree about the difference in our energy level with excitement vs gratitude !! I’m sure this will help me on my next first date!! Thanks Mat ! I like your open conscience and spiritual level of coaching !

                                                                                                                              • Nichola Kabaganja
                                                                                                                                Nichola Kabaganja  6 months ago

                                                                                                                                Thanks for advise

                                                                                                                                • Alice Mello
                                                                                                                                  Alice Mello  7 months ago

                                                                                                                                  Haha am I the only one now imagining what if the girl he mentioned on the video was actually watching it right now😂 Like "oh my god that's why he never called back again! Now I get it!"

                                                                                                                                  • Nick NameZ
                                                                                                                                    Nick NameZ  7 months ago

                                                                                                                                    Here opposite. I went on the first date with this guy from tinder and he was muuuuch more then the pictures and the profile. And was the same for him. We had an Amazing chat at the bar, playful, fun and with lot of things in common. I haven't heard from him so far (11 days now) because he wanted to have sex with me but I said no. I texted him 8 days ago and I didn't even get a reply. How idiotic. Giving up an amazing connection just because you didn't get sex on first date. Wtf. He is gonna be down with dramatic relationships if his judgement ground is only based on sex timing. I never get a joy.. if we are compatible they go. If we are not compatible they chase me...

                                                                                                                                    • susan marozik
                                                                                                                                      susan marozik  7 months ago

                                                                                                                                      #scoducks!! My daughter is a Duck! You are amazing!! I LOVE all of your videos. I am the queen of getting excited before a date and this just changed everything! :)

                                                                                                                                      • elfa
                                                                                                                                        elfa  7 months ago

                                                                                                                                        YOU ARE GREAT !!!

                                                                                                                                        • Jennifer Lorence
                                                                                                                                          Jennifer Lorence  8 months ago

                                                                                                                                          This Made Me Laugh So Much, I didn't Know Men Fantasized as Much as I do. Ha, ha, ha. Now I don't feel So Sad about All the Stupid Mistakes I made

                                                                                                                                          • Dana Jané
                                                                                                                                            Dana Jané  8 months ago

                                                                                                                                            Why no one told me this, like, - TEN YEARS AGO??!

                                                                                                                                            • Maralain Massey
                                                                                                                                              Maralain Massey  9 months ago

                                                                                                                                              hey I love your stories that's awesome I enjoy a lot

                                                                                                                                              • maria mistretta
                                                                                                                                                maria mistretta  9 months ago

                                                                                                                                                Don't get excited strange.🤔 it good to know that getting excited about it messes things up I wasn't aware of this, but now that I know I try not get too excited. Don't build images in my mind. Instead: Be Positive show gratitude (thankful) Stay present listen to person.

                                                                                                                                                • 0 8
                                                                                                                                                  0 8  9 months ago

                                                                                                                                                  Thanks may ake a video about to get a guy back if the girl has been too cold at the beginning, as the girl has known this guy just on line and so she was internet phobic at that time plus unsure so she ubt about her beauty too at this point can the girl do something to get the guy back? tks

                                                                                                                                                  • The Cleaner
                                                                                                                                                    The Cleaner  10 months ago

                                                                                                                                                    Good points made. I cant help be excited since its the first date in a long time. You hope someone will fall in love with you and appreciate you. But usually you end up disappointed :0

                                                                                                                                                    • happy gay
                                                                                                                                                      happy gay  10 months ago

                                                                                                                                                      Dam good video!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                      • happy gay
                                                                                                                                                        happy gay  10 months ago

                                                                                                                                                        Relatable💙😘

                                                                                                                                                        • happy gay
                                                                                                                                                          happy gay  10 months ago

                                                                                                                                                          LMFAOOOOOOOOO LOL 💙

                                                                                                                                                          • Flower Girl Journals and ASMR

                                                                                                                                                            Lolllll hey man you have to wait until the woman give you a sign like an smile or something to you go for her otherwise you will face a wall. You need to slow down your existing side cuz that’s not the way to get a woman.

                                                                                                                                                            • Natalie LaRoche
                                                                                                                                                              Natalie LaRoche  10 months ago

                                                                                                                                                              This is what I have been telling my girlfriends. They go out with all these guys from these dating apps and act like everyone is supposed to be the one!! I'm like just go and enjoy yourself. You may meet a great person who if nothing else turns out to be a great friend.