Dating Is Dead | Kevin Carr | TEDxWilmingtonSalon

  • Published: 21 March 2017
  • Despite the possibilities of modern technology, the desire for instant results does not always translate well in the dating world.

    Kevin Carr contrasts the expectations of relationships in modern day versus in previous generations. For example, what is considered a date today versus decades ago? And what exactly are “situationships”?

    Even with today’s advancements and unlimited opportunities, we still can’t escape our desire for companionship.

    Kevin Carr is an accomplished author, speaker and TV Host/Personality. With over a decade of experience, his perspective on dating offers a practical road-map to help navigate being single while learning to create the relationship you desire. Whether addressing millennials, college students or a group of professionals seeking a meaningful relationship amidst their busy careers, Kevin delivers a message that provides direction and promotes honest dialogue. His unique perspective and engaging delivery have made him a sought after speaker across the country including appearances on ABC, BET, CBS, FOX and TBN. As a contributor, his work has also been featured in Essence,, and The Huffington Post. In his first book, “If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash,” he shows women how to tap into their personal power to control the pace and direction of their relationships.

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 2 665

  • Johnx140
    Johnx140  18 hours back

    Heavy: Dating is DEAD!
    *Is nice*

    • White Rook
      White Rook  2 days back

      Dating IS dead and feminism killed it telling women don't marry men lease them. You grow richer, they grow poorer, it is a win win situation.

      • Seadog95
        Seadog95  3 days back


        • Clown Supremacist
          Clown Supremacist  3 days back


          It's over boys and girls. Instead of going to mars, we got furries. Instead of jetpacks we're mutilating our kids and eating our babies (or turning them into skin care products).


          • Landriah Moore
            Landriah Moore  4 days back

            Dating is more like a chore, too much work. People just wanna hook up these days

            • Top Gadget Lover
              Top Gadget Lover  4 days back

              Any relationship that goes on looks or type won’t work out or last! Or going for money won’t last or work out either

              You won’t get loyalty and physical attraction from one person that’s unlikely and you need to be friends first as well meeting on dating sites it will not last or work out you’ll have issues down the line

              Online dating is bad idea you can’t find someone through an image on a screen

              I have strong morals and values that’s another thing that no one has anymore

              I have old fashioned values too and I would have to get to know a girl as friends before ever asking her out

              • William Riggs
                William Riggs  4 days back

                THE problem is...……..Hoe bags are after ONE thing: money!!! They go to church and get married in a white dress for the fourth or fifth time and say...."Till death do we part". They mean not ONE single word!!! MGTOW is the fastest growing site on the internet. Men are wising up....DO NOT marry the HOE!!!

                • Senait Tewolde
                  Senait Tewolde  4 days back

                  Love matters!!!! Men are disappointed in women and women are disappointed in men..... if you are bitter or needy you cant fine the right one. Enjoy dating and the process. Most people you date wont be the one, because there is only 1. We overthink it, everyone is waiting for the “perfect one” but that person doesnt exist 😂😂😂

                  Milennials waste sooooooo much time. We have all these dating experts

                  • VapeKing
                    VapeKing  5 days back

                    I cant even smile at a woman anymore cause they have thier head buried in the cell phone all the time.

                    • Yahul Wagoni
                      Yahul Wagoni  6 days back

                      Men will no longer give women resources. We Walkaway from these Gynocentric, Hypergamic, Privileged cunts.

                      • Anthony Perkins
                        Anthony Perkins  6 days back

                        WOMEN and FEMINISM is to blame for this....PERIOD.

                        • Yahul Wagoni
                          Yahul Wagoni  6 days back

                          Woman aren't worth it any more. Greater risk and lower return than ever. Ignore them. Walkaway.

                          • Paul Moody
                            Paul Moody  6 days back

                            Great discourse kevin, loved it.

                            • HaleyMary
                              HaleyMary  7 days back

                              I miss 1950s dating. I'm attracted to formal behavior, not this texting and horrible social skill deficits.

                              • Politically Correct
                                Politically Correct  1 weeks back

                                MGTOW IS THE FUTURE

                                • Nord
                                  Nord  1 weeks back

                                  What others see: She's really cute!
                                  What I see:

                                  Double monkey backflips with Chad & Tyrone

                                  • robert dalton
                                    robert dalton  1 weeks back

                                    I can't find a like minded individual anywhere so Idk wtf he's talking about.
                                    I just keep walking alone, occasionally I'll meet a woman only to be disappointed again. No matter how well she portrays herself at first, it always ends with her being single because she has daddy issues or ex boyfriend issues. She's been beaten and battered for so long it's what she expects. I can't bring that to the table, so I quietly exit and continue my walk alone.
                                    It's frustrating but I truly believe I'm the only decent human left on this planet

                                    • Brandon Hanson.
                                      Brandon Hanson.  1 weeks back

                                      Dating is pointless. She'll be looking more at her phone than realizing you exist. Until you pay for the bill. Then she'll find you worth using again.

                                      • DreamWarrior
                                        DreamWarrior  2 weeks back

                                        I'm a goodlooking guy, I actually meet women on tinder fairly often. 90% do NOT look like they do on the app. they spend hours trying to get that perfect angle and if they use filters, just forget it.

                                        • Micah Johnson
                                          Micah Johnson  2 weeks back

                                          No peace can be found in anything except Jesus Christ. No person can fulfill you like the one who made you.

                                          Because His love is better than life. Repent! Hope in the Lord, wash your hands, sinners. Come to the Lord He will forgive and give you purpose.

                                          • Marco Politico
                                            Marco Politico  2 weeks back

                                            Just go MGTOW Brothers!

                                            • CHARLES SCOTT
                                              CHARLES SCOTT  2 weeks back

                                              Hook up culture is awesome !

                                              • tipdog36
                                                tipdog36  2 weeks back

                                                Women can't be trusted.....MeToo#

                                                • Acrobatic Jesus
                                                  Acrobatic Jesus  2 weeks back

                                                  Dealing with western women is dead. I wouldn’t marry one of the government paid me to.

                                                  • Maxi Bustos
                                                    Maxi Bustos  2 weeks back

                                                    Im actually glad dating is dead,now that it is i can totally bet no one will ever miss it or look back and remember it

                                                    • JesusChristIsLord
                                                      JesusChristIsLord  2 weeks back

                                                      Yes, dating is dead. That is all.

                                                      • John Eaves
                                                        John Eaves  2 weeks back

                                                        Don't date, just mate!

                                                        • VenturStar
                                                          VenturStar  2 weeks back

                                                          Sad, but all very true Mr. Carr. Its social-dating is a big part of why I don't date. Good speak.

                                                          • FantasyEve87
                                                            FantasyEve87  3 weeks back

                                                            Based on a lot of the comments, I'm getting there's a ton of angry men. Goodness!!

                                                            • Veronika Ilovepuppies
                                                              Veronika Ilovepuppies  3 weeks back

                                                              Another boring, useless TED talk by a narcissist who thinks he/she has something special to say...

                                                              • Rush patriot
                                                                Rush patriot  3 days back

                                                                @Veronika Ilovepuppies Must be tough being able to sue a man for breathing or looking at you. All of Ted Talks are to get people thinking sense most people are blind zombies almost 24/7 if anything it helps.

                                                              • Veronika Ilovepuppies
                                                                Veronika Ilovepuppies  3 days back

                                                                I'm just sick of Ted talks where people just repeat obvious things with no added value or solution to the perceived problems, I'm not triggered by the topic, just the format

                                                              • Vasting
                                                                Vasting  3 days back

                                                                you wouldn't understand, you're a female. you live life on easy mode.

                                                              • Rush patriot
                                                                Rush patriot  2 weeks back

                                                                You must be on the short end of the stick. Did the Ted talk push your buttons or something

                                                            • joe blow
                                                              joe blow  3 weeks back

                                                              Dating is now all about swiping .We are not match more now than a face.And yes we do judge a book by its cover.The getting out and being social aspect is dead..e.g People don't even go to restaurants anymore, Uber takes care of that..

                                                              • NEW LILLY
                                                                NEW LILLY  4 weeks back

                                                                I hate talking on the phone. I hate men more and more. They just use you and move on

                                                                • Not Here For It
                                                                  Not Here For It  1 months back

                                                                  “Attached and fighting to stay unattached” smh

                                                                  • MrSivram28
                                                                    MrSivram28  1 months back

                                                                    Women are very flaky and picky now.

                                                                  • peace2014
                                                                    peace2014  1 months back

                                                                    When I was 15 I would go to a dance run by a lady who had strict rules about dress and behavior. She had one rule that she would enforce like a drill sergeant. I there was a girl available to dance with, you danced , and a girl was not allow to refuse a dance. I had the best time of my life, and the place was packed every Saturday night.

                                                                    • peace2014
                                                                      peace2014  1 months back

                                                                      The end of dating coincided with the invention of the smart phone.

                                                                      • David Bolha
                                                                        David Bolha  4 weeks back

                                                                        Mhm. It gives you a seemingly greater access to more "better deals", whilst isolating you at the same time. 🤔

                                                                    • Ana Gornet-Felix
                                                                      Ana Gornet-Felix  1 months back

                                                                      It doesn't matter where you date (online, in person) what matters is how you represent yourself and who they are.

                                                                      Tinder is not as bad as everyone thinks it is

                                                                      Guys Tinder is just as dangerous as meeting people in person, guys are just as horney there as in school, sports, work, etc.
                                                                      This whole myth, not every single guy is looking for a hookup online just many of them are.
                                                                      Some like me just simply cannot flirt with people at school, sports, or work and only have time to go online.

                                                                      Either way the same guy you meet at church is probably looking for a hookup just as much as the guy you match with on tinder.

                                                                      I've met some amazing guys on dating sites who are my best friends today after 3 years.

                                                                    • Elena Gonzalez
                                                                      Elena Gonzalez  1 months back

                                                                      Stay single gals , live your life is a second hand emotion ! Love your self !

                                                                      • George R
                                                                        George R  1 months back

                                                                        Women have control over all of this...

                                                                        • David Bolha
                                                                          David Bolha  4 weeks back

                                                                          So you reduce the supply... 🤔😉

                                                                          Create the artificial scarcity of men (i.e. MGTOW).

                                                                      • Slacker Gaming
                                                                        Slacker Gaming  1 months back

                                                                        It's true it really is dead. like one chick im pretty sure she got bored of me then went on to talk to a dude on the internet such a smart little dog. not really.

                                                                        • Satsui Nohado
                                                                          Satsui Nohado  2 months back

                                                                          Everyone is lonely, depressed and heartbroken. Most of the girls I talk to are depressed because their true love failed. They are emotionally unavailable. They seek happiness in dating random dutes. I wish them happiness.

                                                                          • Noxml Noxml
                                                                            Noxml Noxml  2 months back

                                                                            MGTOW is Alive

                                                                          • MultiMillyon
                                                                            MultiMillyon  2 months back

                                                                            I think the market value has dropped for both men and women. Most of the people you come across are damaged goods.

                                                                          • Jordan Breon
                                                                            Jordan Breon  2 months back

                                                                            I wake up every day thankful to God I met my wife as a strapping 21 year old man. We were both virgins and dedicated to God, which made all the difference.

                                                                            15 years and four children later, still going strong. With Jesus, all things are possible.

                                                                          • redhot663
                                                                            redhot663  2 months back

                                                                            I don't want a relationship although I would really love to have kids? Any ideas?

                                                                          • Sweet Apple
                                                                            Sweet Apple  2 months back

                                                                            I have been saying the exact same thing for years. Very nicely done. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

                                                                            • Anaklusmos Greek
                                                                              Anaklusmos Greek  2 months back

                                                                              Give me mental stability over happiness anyday. I loved the ones that treat me poorly, and if i miss one. i pray that they are okay and living their lives. I just hope that they are better off and seek to build on what is left in my ruined heart.

                                                                              • William Gee
                                                                                William Gee  2 months back

                                                                                WAITING FOR ROBOT GIRLS

                                                                                • David Bolha
                                                                                  David Bolha  4 weeks back

                                                                                  Just a robot maid would suffice for me. 😊

                                                                                  Plus a free energy device. 😂

                                                                                • Kanika Uniyal
                                                                                  Kanika Uniyal  2 months back

                                                                                  Ha ha ....robot girls!! Human relationship is the most wonderful thing ever. Whats neede is commitment which is not commonly seen in todays generation but still it has not competely vanished. What so ever the case may be robot girls sounds completely absurd