How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves You | Femi Ogunjinmi | TEDxXavierUniversity

  • Published: 29 November 2018
  • Is proclaiming your love for someone truly enough? Femi Ogunjinmi brings to light what fully constitutes an enduring, fulfilling relationship through his engaging experiences. Femi Ogunjinmi, mostly known as Gfem is a certified life coach, international relationship coach, award winning motivational speaker, and a radio talk show host who has been improving the lives of singles and couples for over ten years. He has authored two edition books titled, "Revelations of Relationship: What you don't know about finding true love and sustaining relationship." Femi earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Biology from Morgan State University and a Master’s Degree in Business Administration from Benedictine University with a Certificate in Financial Management. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 1 998

  • Oskar Malone
    Oskar Malone  Prije 5 sati

    love doesn't exist

    • Ganesh Udupa
      Ganesh Udupa  Prije 6 sati

      What is true love? Women: BBC

      • luketit
        luketit  Prije 17 sati

        My first love was a cocker spaniel,he used to lick my balls..

        • marieabner
          marieabner  Prije 19 sati

          I don't understand his point of how to tell if someone truly loves you. It seems to me that the first group of women loved him so much that they were willing to share him. But the other woman he wanted didn't want that lifestyle so he changed himself. In his mind, he sacrificed the freedom to have multiple partners for the love of one. That's not necessarily true love. It was just something that he had to do to get what he wanted.

          • Mani Kandan
            Mani Kandan  Prije dan

            'Ted Talks' .. I've never seen Ted talking in this show

            • Destiny Garcia
              Destiny Garcia  Prije dan

              All he's doing is spewing the same thing society tells us: marriage is a necessary sign/step of commitment. Cheating is proof of a lack of love. You cannot love two people at the same time. Etc. I didn't finish watching this but these are all untrue. I recommend instead watching Alain De Botton, he has a much more honest perspective on love.

              • Mister Miggs
                Mister Miggs  Prije dan

                Ppl cheat on everything in life. When it comes down to a woman you're not supposed to cheat. Foh

                • alexandralumme
                  alexandralumme  Prije dan

                  I love that TedTalk let him speak of God

                  • jaxsterspaku
                    jaxsterspaku  Prije 2 dana

                    Not everyone believes in Christianity.

                    • speedmilesgood
                      speedmilesgood  Prije 2 dana

                      Ok God decides to sacrifice Jesus for us. But does that mean he did not like Jesus? This comparison is wrong, for example, in a couple with a child, refusing to sacrifice his son to save his or her beloved does not mean that we do not really like him/her, love is more complex

                      • Mark Lobban
                        Mark Lobban  Prije 3 dana

                        Fantastic talk

                        • Michelle Coreen Antchak
                          Michelle Coreen Antchak  Prije 3 dana

                          Absolutely wonderful speaker!... so true.. everything he said!

                          • yasinpatel12345
                            yasinpatel12345  Prije 3 dana

                            Hope! This man gives! Thank you

                            • Reeses OTG
                              Reeses OTG  Prije 3 dana

                              This is why I left my ex.. She loved how I treated her and took care of her not one I started to slow down with spending to save up for a place for us she was right back to asking her ex's for money.. IDC unless you have kids there's no reason to talk to your ex in a new relationship

                              • fairlind
                                fairlind  Prije 3 dana

                                God so loved the world that he forgot to love his own son.

                                • swathi priya
                                  swathi priya  Prije 3 dana

                                  Good Talk..

                                  • sweethearts 86
                                    sweethearts 86  Prije 4 dana

                                    This man's skin is glowing and living its best life!

                                    • Majorie Figaro
                                      Majorie Figaro  Prije 4 dana


                                      • NPC
                                        NPC  Prije 4 dana

                                        Solved the problem, nobody loves me.

                                        • Lovely Love
                                          Lovely Love  Prije dan


                                          • La B
                                            La B  Prije 5 dana

                                            Who else is reading the comments and crying laughing? 🤣🤣🤣... I love HRclip 🤣

                                            • Hunter T
                                              Hunter T  Prije 5 dana

                                              I love this man. He is so genuine and speaks my language. Refreshing in a world where everything is about short term relationships and individualism. What ever happened to actually loving people? Why are people afraid of love? Why do people say they love you when they don't mean it?

                                              • Jules Frith
                                                Jules Frith  Prije 6 dana


                                                • sabrina Ali
                                                  sabrina Ali  Prije 6 dana

                                                  Speaker “ When you love someone would you cheat on them” Audience *cough* 😂😂😂😂😂

                                                  • Karla Banks
                                                    Karla Banks  Prije 6 dana

                                                    Snoozer, and when he put jesus in it, I rolled my eyes.

                                                    • Daisy Vitali
                                                      Daisy Vitali  Prije 6 dana

                                                      hit the nail on the head, true love concurs all!!!

                                                      • Fernando R
                                                        Fernando R  Prije 8 dana

                                                        Guy barely answered the question

                                                        • Kursus dan Bimbel ELI Pontianak

                                                          But what if it only works for one person? if the other one doesnt want to sacrifice for me?

                                                          • Sara Mathous
                                                            Sara Mathous  Prije 8 dana

                                                            I hate men they all cheat!!!!😒

                                                            • Vicente Elenes
                                                              Vicente Elenes  Prije 8 dana

                                                              This is terrible advice

                                                              • Jeremy Roberts
                                                                Jeremy Roberts  Prije 8 dana

                                                                Great talk!

                                                                • Kosmpolitanna Orwell
                                                                  Kosmpolitanna Orwell  Prije 8 dana

                                                                  I reckon the audience is taped and somebody forgotten to press applause this time.

                                                                  • Kosmpolitanna Orwell
                                                                    Kosmpolitanna Orwell  Prije 8 dana

                                                                    He is sooooo right tho..

                                                                    • • m erab c • orona
                                                                      • m erab c • orona  Prije 8 dana

                                                                      I truly love he's accent 👌

                                                                      • Yanti Ashaiban
                                                                        Yanti Ashaiban  Prije 8 dana

                                                                        The real Dr Ofori

                                                                        • Dollie Thotse
                                                                          Dollie Thotse  Prije 8 dana

                                                                          did they pay the audience to not clap or laugh or react ??? because this is kinda intense...

                                                                          • Timothy Kolstein
                                                                            Timothy Kolstein  Prije 9 dana

                                                                            That’s so funny. I broke up with my ex, and a month ago i had 3 different girls coming over at my place. One hispanic, one caucasian and one asian girl. But the moment my ex girlfriend came back into my life, i didnt even think twice and told them to scramble, just so i can be with my ex girlfriend again. We’re back together now and things are better then ever before. Sacrifices ❤️

                                                                            • Timothy Kolstein
                                                                              Timothy Kolstein  Prije 9 dana

                                                                              Who cares about the audiënce. Did you get the message?

                                                                              • cyril vallantin
                                                                                cyril vallantin  Prije 9 dana

                                                                                I find if you don’t get involved with anyone you can never be disappointed

                                                                                • cyril vallantin
                                                                                  cyril vallantin  Prije 9 dana

                                                                                  Why I’m still single

                                                                                  • Real_sheena alexis
                                                                                    Real_sheena alexis  Prije 9 dana

                                                                                    enjoyed listening to this video , really helped me understand why , I am at such a standstill. With my relationship. And based off this video , I really am starting to understand what must be done. Thank you greatly!!! Cheers to growth and passionate real true love.

                                                                                    • elisha_ luna
                                                                                      elisha_ luna  Prije 9 dana

                                                                                      The trouble is: very many times, when it comes to a conflict, people play a victim: “I’ve sacrificed a lot for you!”. This doesn’t work, if the “sacrifice” is done only to keep someone around. That should be a decision made with all the responsibility on yourself, understanding why this should be beneficial for you - and not only for the love sake. But the talk is great, it’s strange that the audience was so quiet...

                                                                                      • free spirit
                                                                                        free spirit  Prije 10 dana

                                                                                        His voice is like healing

                                                                                        • Allison Wunderland
                                                                                          Allison Wunderland  Prije 12 dana

                                                                                          He deserves a much better audience

                                                                                          • Sindhu CVM
                                                                                            Sindhu CVM  Prije 12 dana

                                                                                            The fuss over true love is a bit exaggerated...

                                                                                            • Matthew Carroll
                                                                                              Matthew Carroll  Prije 12 dana

                                                                                              Wanna know if someone really loves you? Like the old saying goes... Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of the car for 1 hour and see who's still happy to see you when you open it... lol

                                                                                              • Hierbich Lazarus
                                                                                                Hierbich Lazarus  Prije 12 dana

                                                                                                loyalty and fidelity aren't the same. Loyalty comes from love and fidelity may come from fear.

                                                                                                • Life gists with Sofia
                                                                                                  Life gists with Sofia  Prije 12 dana

                                                                                                  I love how you say it easily love is crazy and everyone goes through this phase.I started a channel I would love ladies to here me out on how to go through this phase.

                                                                                                  • Princess Christina Aquino
                                                                                                    Princess Christina Aquino  Prije 13 dana


                                                                                                    • Princess Christina Aquino
                                                                                                      Princess Christina Aquino  Prije 13 dana

                                                                                                      Thank you bro i needed hear this.

                                                                                                      • almost midnight
                                                                                                        almost midnight  Prije 13 dana

                                                                                                        Great ted talk but i didn't like the bible part but besides that he was great

                                                                                                        • Andrea Lara
                                                                                                          Andrea Lara  Prije 13 dana

                                                                                                          Love this!

                                                                                                          • Heidi Lynn Pokusa
                                                                                                            Heidi Lynn Pokusa  Prije 15 dana

                                                                                                            Ted Talks are absolutely wonderful. Enrichment from each speaker and the perspectives from not only feedback but, questions from diverse freethinking mindsets. Ones I now pose myself because of Ted Talks.

                                                                                                            • Diana Stewart
                                                                                                              Diana Stewart  Prije 16 dana

                                                                                                              So true, finally someone has the right answer. I’m going to buy his book!

                                                                                                              • Warigarmi Wozzavelli
                                                                                                                Warigarmi Wozzavelli  Prije 16 dana

                                                                                                                Thing I dont get can real love last forever ?

                                                                                                                • dennis duran
                                                                                                                  dennis duran  Prije 17 dana

                                                                                                                  This isn't audience participation night. The audience is supposed sit and listen. Why are the comments complaining about the audience?

                                                                                                                  • Malky24
                                                                                                                    Malky24  Prije 18 dana

                                                                                                                    TL,DW:"A good relationship is about sacrifice. I found a woman I loved, and to show her I loved her I stopped banging other women. Also: stuff about God."

                                                                                                                    • Unknown A
                                                                                                                      Unknown A  Prije 18 dana

                                                                                                                      I would have loved to be in this audience brilliant ted talk 🙌🏾

                                                                                                                      • Zarina Chan
                                                                                                                        Zarina Chan  Prije 19 dana

                                                                                                                        Wow what a perfectly set white teeth😍

                                                                                                                        • Aisha Solomon
                                                                                                                          Aisha Solomon  Prije 19 dana

                                                                                                                          He literally has the smoothest voice ever. That baritone voice!

                                                                                                                          • Treasure Okoh
                                                                                                                            Treasure Okoh  Prije 19 dana

                                                                                                                            The fact that no body was laughing, I don’t even have to explain the racism. His talk was as good as his skin. Rich and beautiful 🥰

                                                                                                                            • david kojusola
                                                                                                                              david kojusola  Prije 19 dana

                                                                                                                              The only love that can keep and a sustain a relationship is true love which is define as Sacrificial love with passion.

                                                                                                                              • Blake Lively
                                                                                                                                Blake Lively  Prije 21 dan

                                                                                                                                This was great

                                                                                                                                • Mal Swift
                                                                                                                                  Mal Swift  Prije 21 dan

                                                                                                                                  "True love if not backed up by action is not true love" This got me strucked so hard.

                                                                                                                                  • Gina Church
                                                                                                                                    Gina Church  Prije 22 dana

                                                                                                                                    To whomever keeps coughing: literally stop.

                                                                                                                                    • Al Gee
                                                                                                                                      Al Gee  Prije 22 dana

                                                                                                                                      Eighteen years ago, I read the best definition of passion: The willingness to endure a high degree of difficulty for the one that is loved. How many times do we say we are passionate about someone or something and then give up when the going gets tough because it's not worth the pain and sacrifice.

                                                                                                                                      • Quirky Queen
                                                                                                                                        Quirky Queen  Prije 23 dana

                                                                                                                                        Boy:”I wanna keep both the women “ He :” wow ! U r just like MC Donald’s . U r loving it “ 🤣🤣I cant stop laughing

                                                                                                                                        • Jen Jiang
                                                                                                                                          Jen Jiang  Prije 24 dana

                                                                                                                                          my ex left because he said he knows I would sacrifice anything to be with him and its unhealthy...only thing unhealthy about it is that he would never do the same for me

                                                                                                                                          • Ewelina Kaminski
                                                                                                                                            Ewelina Kaminski  Prije 26 dana


                                                                                                                                            • Suheyba Neyzy
                                                                                                                                              Suheyba Neyzy  Prije 26 dana

                                                                                                                                              His audience is soooooooooooo frustrating 🚮😭

                                                                                                                                              • Darkness
                                                                                                                                                Darkness  Prije 26 dana

                                                                                                                                                The worst audience ever

                                                                                                                                                • Kalas Atwater
                                                                                                                                                  Kalas Atwater  Prije 28 dana

                                                                                                                                                  Well just realized that no girl has ever truly loved me then, I was always willing to make sacrifices but not the other way around, that sucks.

                                                                                                                                                  • ebrak47
                                                                                                                                                    ebrak47  Prije 29 dana

                                                                                                                                                    He lost me when he mentioned God.

                                                                                                                                                    • Michael Fiducia
                                                                                                                                                      Michael Fiducia  Prije mjesec

                                                                                                                                                      This was spot on in my opinion.

                                                                                                                                                      • Linda Jackson
                                                                                                                                                        Linda Jackson  Prije mjesec

                                                                                                                                                        True love comes from God your soul is working I'm so glad God tought me what real life if love is a great feeling in your heart and soul joy God at work 🙏 changes things Linda j ☮️❤️ ❤️💯 💯❤️

                                                                                                                                                        • Linda Jackson
                                                                                                                                                          Linda Jackson  Prije mjesec

                                                                                                                                                          Do I really need his help no be strong enough to say goodbye peace .wants his cake and eat it to Linda j ☮️ ❤️💯 💯💯 💯💯 💯