How to find the right partner | Tony Verheij | TEDxTwenteU

  • Published: 06 November 2013
  • This man can tell you anything about making big money with less effort, but he also has a very interesting story about true love. And it is this love-story that will inspire you in this talk. Listen to his talk and learn the secrets of how to find the right partner, right now!
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 779

  • RobynGermaine
    RobynGermaine  Prije dan


    • Mountain Switchback
      Mountain Switchback  Prije 3 dana

      The person that makes you feel the most comfortable & genuine. You have the freedom to explore life and yourself and you know they will still be at your side. Your partner has to be your best friend.

      • Patrick Lincoln
        Patrick Lincoln  Prije 8 dana

        Something went wrong. Maybe he had too little time. I don't know, but that was not a formula. The slide with a heart was good advice. But there was nothing that could be used to eliminate a wrong person.

        • Random thoughts
          Random thoughts  Prije 9 dana

          I kind of disagree. I really was myself all of the time. If you are warm hearted, naiv it might work, but if you are like me suspicious coldly rational, while being still nice it won’t work, because no one will relate.

          • Lo Slogos
            Lo Slogos  Prije 12 dana

            Now that I have found the formula, I can starting solving for X. Thanks!

            • Patrick McDonald
              Patrick McDonald  Prije 13 dana

              That was actually pretty good advice.

              • Keng Lee
                Keng Lee  Prije 13 dana

                Jessie Lee Peterson : "BETA"

                • Patrick Lincoln
                  Patrick Lincoln  Prije 8 dana

                  Define Alpha.

                  • David Oyedseji
                    David Oyedseji  Prije 15 dana

                    Well done Tony

                    • Ta Tan
                      Ta Tan  Prije 15 dana

                      I admire this guy for sharing his thoughts despite he might not be very comfortable with it. Great topic. Great talk 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

                      • Gabriela ph
                        Gabriela ph  Prije mjesec

                        What is the formula for real love? Be yourself and thats it?

                        • Peter Kurz
                          Peter Kurz  Prije mjesec

                          Bad TedTalk in my opinion. Not because of his presentation but of poor and blended content. Check Out Ester Perel if you want real helping ideas about love and relationships in generel.

                          • Ashish Magar
                            Ashish Magar  Prije mjesec

                            Honestly this was boring

                            • erfansvideos
                              erfansvideos  Prije 2 mjeseci

                              This is probably one of the very few time we actually see the TRUTH. This is who we truly are people..imperfect. I give this man a lot of credit for showing his vulnerability which is EXACTLY what he’s talking about.

                              • Nia Rose
                                Nia Rose  Prije 2 mjeseci

                                I see myself in him!!

                                • Tim Johnston
                                  Tim Johnston  Prije 3 mjeseci

                                  no, wait. I think I do see what hes saying. This happened to me and a lady friend I met 2 yrs ago.

                                  • Tim Johnston
                                    Tim Johnston  Prije 3 mjeseci

                                    came for what the title said. still unclear to me. sorry. seems like a nice guy tho

                                    • Intuitivelogic
                                      Intuitivelogic  Prije 3 mjeseci

                                      I believe in the potential idea of love at first thought , given that the thought is expressed in a thorough manner that shows many aspects that the person has a compatable personality to mine .

                                      • Kierkegaard
                                        Kierkegaard  Prije 4 mjeseci

                                        Lay off the meth fella.

                                        • Seti Depp
                                          Seti Depp  Prije 4 mjeseci

                                          The person passing the presentation has 80% of the fault here...

                                          • Billionrosannae Chhouk
                                            Billionrosannae Chhouk  Prije 4 mjeseci

                                            Lovely presentation. My only critique is to diversity the images of deception (currently mainly women and old women are used as images of being dishonest or unattractive).

                                            • Rami Sen
                                              Rami Sen  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                              Showing ur real face to the one who is worth for showing❤️

                                              • Notmytoe
                                                Notmytoe  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                                He should write a book or maybe some articles. He seems like he has some wise things to say but speeches aren't the best way for every single person to share their knowledge. And that's okay, but I would really like to know what he can say on a medium he is more comfortable with.

                                                • anabellschan
                                                  anabellschan  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                                  I just want to have an idea about to recover , when you show your truly face, and open your heart and get just desception, I've just see the video, and I don't know how can I trust against, and recover

                                                  • Fiona Krommenhoek
                                                    Fiona Krommenhoek  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                                    Hij is Nederlands zo te horen 😂

                                                    • Kei S
                                                      Kei S  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                                      This is a very sweet, short yet for me, ground-breaking. True love is based on love and acceptance of who you are which will only happen if you show your true self. Moreover, true love is based on loving the person because you love them as who they are without subconsciously thinking that you will manipulate them to change in the future,

                                                      • conchita roxas
                                                        conchita roxas  Prije 5 mjeseci

                                                        Wow I like they love each h other I wish I like that

                                                        • Héctor Palí Maldonado
                                                          Héctor Palí Maldonado  Prije 5 mjeseci


                                                          • Besa
                                                            Besa  Prije 6 mjeseci

                                                            So refreshing to hear his talk. Great topic and message with such raw authenticity, rare to find.

                                                            • GERMAN ORDOÑEZ
                                                              GERMAN ORDOÑEZ  Prije 6 mjeseci

                                                              With big p...p...p...potential, jajajajajaja !

                                                              • Rosemary Benitez
                                                                Rosemary Benitez  Prije 6 mjeseci

                                                                💛 amazing

                                                                • Sara S.
                                                                  Sara S.  Prije 6 mjeseci

                                                                  To be honest, this is the most interesting presentation i've seen. It was so wrong but it seemed to flow so well, that got me thinking that he maybe wanted it to be like this, ending with "if you open your true self, people will love you" and he opened himself and his stage fright and now our emotions have intensified towards him! Brilliant ! Takes regular presentations to a different level.

                                                                  • aina may
                                                                    aina may  Prije 7 mjeseci

                                                                    That is ulfo

                                                                    • Batool
                                                                      Batool  Prije 7 mjeseci

                                                                      is this ted talk or fart talk?

                                                                      • Code: 08:11
                                                                        Code: 08:11  Prije 7 mjeseci

                                                                        Waste of 4 minutes

                                                                        • hossein abdolmotalebi
                                                                          hossein abdolmotalebi  Prije 7 mjeseci

                                                                          It is not so hard to have a note with you , you know

                                                                          • Dylan De Loe
                                                                            Dylan De Loe  Prije 7 mjeseci

                                                                            This was a bad presentation. Not for his skills as a speaker, but for how vague and misleading the conclusion is. "If you want to touch a woman, you have to touch her heart. If you want to touch a man's heart, you must touch him," is a massive overgeneralization. Some people don't want to touch or be touched, sometimes they want to be heard, or be helped, or to spend quality time with someone. The conclusion also betrays what came before it, about taking off our masks and showing who you really are. That point is also mostly vague, but not helpful as well. If you're messy by nature(like me), maybe you DO need to clean before your lover gets home. Build habits of personal growth, go beyond your limits, change bad behaviors into good ones. Be honest that you struggle with something, but don't stop working at it.

                                                                            • Troja Sin
                                                                              Troja Sin  Prije 8 mjeseci

                                                                              grt msge frm his gesture

                                                                              • Sanjay Dabholkar
                                                                                Sanjay Dabholkar  Prije 8 mjeseci

                                                                                This was really funny 😅 I loved his presentation.. felt real

                                                                                • Bas •
                                                                                  Bas •  Prije 8 mjeseci

                                                                                  This reflex very much of myself especially my personality and my presentation that I recall. And I'll tell you now that the thing is I, or we, may not do very well to memorise the whole thing and perform on that basis, but I do much better in expressing myself though, indeed, I'm nervous as much whether if I'd be able to communicate or not. Anyway I agreed on this short and remarkable speech. I now sending my love. God bless.

                                                                                  • chonita bonita
                                                                                    chonita bonita  Prije 9 mjeseci

                                                                                    A very sincere and touching talk. I enjoyed it.

                                                                                    • Omansh Kumar
                                                                                      Omansh Kumar  Prije 10 mjeseci

                                                                                      Bakwaas hai

                                                                                      • Judit Dirda
                                                                                        Judit Dirda  Prije 10 mjeseci


                                                                                        • nouran samy
                                                                                          nouran samy  Prije 10 mjeseci

                                                                                          I got impressed by this man ,his authentic speech deliverd all what he asked for, to be yourself to have enough courage to show your flaws and confess your faults as if this is the last time to talk about yourself, so you need to be wholeheartedly honest about who you are ..the biggest life challenge ever foe all of us to be ourselves .

                                                                                          • Kostas stv
                                                                                            Kostas stv  Prije 10 mjeseci

                                                                                            One of the most boring speeches in TEDx.

                                                                                            • Lana Schott
                                                                                              Lana Schott  Prije 10 mjeseci

                                                                                              He was sincere and genuine I don’t think American men know how to be like this.. it could be a European thing... I opened my heart to someone I fell in love with too quickly I couldn’t contain my emotions and it scared me because I have never been like that But he ran away afraid of his emotions so I guess on the end it wasn’t meant to be. Being a Sagittarius I am emotional but at my age I’ve learned to tamper it but not in this situation which ended in heart break 💜😔

                                                                                              • Jon Aedyn King
                                                                                                Jon Aedyn King  Prije 11 mjeseci

                                                                                                might be the most heteronormative tedtalk I've ever come across

                                                                                                • Kris S
                                                                                                  Kris S  Prije 11 mjeseci

                                                                                                  I like the message but I hate that it’s very hetero-focused

                                                                                                  • Crystal Rios
                                                                                                    Crystal Rios  Prije godine

                                                                                                    7 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

                                                                                                    • C T
                                                                                                      C T  Prije godine

                                                                                                      I wish he could get a second chance to make his message clearer

                                                                                                      • Marwa Radee
                                                                                                        Marwa Radee  Prije godine

                                                                                                        so sweet

                                                                                                        • varq j
                                                                                                          varq j  Prije godine

                                                                                                          I salute ur courage .I do also have stage aint easy to stand in front of people and share what u want to share....thank u for sharin ur wisdom about this talk...

                                                                                                          • Amira Akmal
                                                                                                            Amira Akmal  Prije godine

                                                                                                            Thank you so much for the efforts I enjoyed your talk

                                                                                                            • Mr. Perfact.
                                                                                                              Mr. Perfact.  Prije godine

                                                                                                              Looking partner PM please.!

                                                                                                              • Gidda Eliasel
                                                                                                                Gidda Eliasel  Prije godine


                                                                                                                • IFEOMA NEWS
                                                                                                                  IFEOMA NEWS  Prije godine

                                                                                                                  I see both sides, the title is misleading. Yes the man is nervous and trying his best, however there were times my mind blanked out while watching this because, I didn’t know where he was going with his speech. People who probably clicked on the video, maybe are looking for more direct advice. That might be why, there are not so many kind comments. At the end of the day, it’s not his daughter. It’s whoever decided to title this video and post it for all to see.

                                                                                                                  • Niva-Or Ruvio
                                                                                                                    Niva-Or Ruvio  Prije godine

                                                                                                                    Thank you

                                                                                                                    • Yeon-Sil Yi
                                                                                                                      Yeon-Sil Yi  Prije godine

                                                                                                                      Thank you Tony for sharing wonderful insight! Your message is so simple and no-brainer but we do get along with our daily lives not aware of that powerful message. Thank you for reminding me and presenting me in a clear and concise manner. I really appreciate it!

                                                                                                                      • Céu Lopes
                                                                                                                        Céu Lopes  Prije godine

                                                                                                                        Verheij is a Dutch name. He is our Dutch Pride....! Tony's performance is very good! Hugs from Holland!

                                                                                                                        • Ali ŞEN
                                                                                                                          Ali ŞEN  Prije godine

                                                                                                                          worst talk ever

                                                                                                                          • Amanda Jane
                                                                                                                            Amanda Jane  Prije godine

                                                                                                                            Thank you Mr. Verheij. I suffer from stage frights but you taught me something other than what you're delivering. You've taught me that being myself is the only confidence that i need. Plus, you nailed it! :)

                                                                                                                            • Binta Bajaha
                                                                                                                              Binta Bajaha  Prije godine

                                                                                                                              Mufti menu

                                                                                                                              • Choppers Hair Studio
                                                                                                                                Choppers Hair Studio  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                Bless his heart! It will get easier for him.

                                                                                                                                • tiaraalexus
                                                                                                                                  tiaraalexus  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                  loved his message

                                                                                                                                  • Sissi Panastash
                                                                                                                                    Sissi Panastash  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                    When l was nine years old, my parents divorced.I was afraid of all the people.I know now, l don’t afraid to laugh 😂 bad or good things will come.

                                                                                                                                    • Riccardo Moretti
                                                                                                                                      Riccardo Moretti  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                      I'm single and have a good heart,

                                                                                                                                      • Geoffrey Lee
                                                                                                                                        Geoffrey Lee  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                        Patience has worked for us.

                                                                                                                                        • The Joker
                                                                                                                                          The Joker  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                          That was good. About the real self, it suits very well. People tend to use masks when they want to attract someone, but when it comes to relationships it is no good, because you are lying to them, and the real you will appear sooner or later.

                                                                                                                                          • Amanpreet Gill
                                                                                                                                            Amanpreet Gill  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                            My opinion, which doesn't matter, but whatever: I think the reason why there are negative comments, is because the set up. The viewers expect certain standard when it comes to videos from TedxTalks. Clearly, Mr. Verheij's presentation has plenty of room for improvement and perhaps a more appropriate video would be after Mr. Verheij's has presented a number of times.

                                                                                                                                            • Jesus Loves You
                                                                                                                                              Jesus Loves You  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                              I am from India n arranged marriage is common here. My family force me to merry a guy with whom I don't even met in my life. I wanna to do Job. Plz anyone suggest me what should I do?

                                                                                                                                              • Swapnil Jadhav
                                                                                                                                                Swapnil Jadhav  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                The presentation was built up very well Dude had pretty solid points on all grounds

                                                                                                                                                • Dahlia Hawthorne
                                                                                                                                                  Dahlia Hawthorne  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                  I feel so bad for him, I want to go up there and comfort him aaaahhhhhhh

                                                                                                                                                  • Marina Udovcic
                                                                                                                                                    Marina Udovcic  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                    WHY didn't he use prompts? Lack of good preparation?....He didn't show a lot...and he had good intentions...and, most likely, a lots more to offer.....Sounds cruel, but it was waste of my time.....

                                                                                                                                                    • asha2569
                                                                                                                                                      asha2569  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                      You people who didn't get anything from this needs to step back and listen with your heart, not with your ears and then you'll connect with it better...

                                                                                                                                                      • macolga100
                                                                                                                                                        macolga100  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                        It's been scientifically proven that we perceive better halting speech

                                                                                                                                                        • Rollastoney
                                                                                                                                                          Rollastoney  Prije godine

                                                                                                                                                          Props, Probably tons of people im that room